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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Крошка Доррит
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- Стр. 613/761
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It
was
at
the
time
when
my
troubles
were
at
their
highest
,
and
when
I
was
most
incensed
against
my
lover
for
his
ingratitude
in
caring
as
little
as
he
did
for
the
innumerable
distresses
and
mortifications
I
underwent
on
his
account
,
that
your
dear
friend
,
Mr
Gowan
,
appeared
at
the
house
.
He
had
been
intimate
there
for
a
long
time
,
but
had
been
abroad
.
He
understood
the
state
of
things
at
a
glance
,
and
he
understood
me
.
He
was
the
first
person
I
had
ever
seen
in
my
life
who
had
understood
me
.
He
was
not
in
the
house
three
times
before
I
knew
that
he
accompanied
every
movement
of
my
mind
.
In
his
coldly
easy
way
with
all
of
them
,
and
with
me
,
and
with
the
whole
subject
,
I
saw
it
clearly
.
In
his
light
protestations
of
admiration
of
my
future
husband
,
in
his
enthusiasm
regarding
our
engagement
and
our
prospects
,
in
his
hopeful
congratulations
on
our
future
wealth
and
his
despondent
references
to
his
own
poverty
—
all
equally
hollow
,
and
jesting
,
and
full
of
mockery
—
I
saw
it
clearly
.
He
made
me
feel
more
and
more
resentful
,
and
more
and
more
contemptible
,
by
always
presenting
to
me
everything
that
surrounded
me
with
some
new
hateful
light
upon
it
,
while
he
pretended
to
exhibit
it
in
its
best
aspect
for
my
admiration
and
his
own
.
He
was
like
the
dressed
-
up
Death
in
the
Dutch
series
;
whatever
figure
he
took
upon
his
arm
,
whether
it
was
youth
or
age
,
beauty
or
ugliness
,
whether
he
danced
with
it
,
sang
with
it
,
played
with
it
,
or
prayed
with
it
,
he
made
it
ghastly
.
You
will
understand
,
then
,
that
when
your
dear
friend
complimented
me
,
he
really
condoled
with
me
;
that
when
he
soothed
me
under
my
vexations
,
he
laid
bare
every
smarting
wound
I
had
;
that
when
he
declared
my
‘
faithful
swain
’
to
be
‘
the
most
loving
young
fellow
in
the
world
,
with
the
tenderest
heart
that
ever
beat
,
’
he
touched
my
old
misgiving
that
I
was
made
ridiculous
.
These
were
not
great
services
,
you
may
say
.
They
were
acceptable
to
me
,
because
they
echoed
my
own
mind
,
and
confirmed
my
own
knowledge
.
I
soon
began
to
like
the
society
of
your
dear
friend
better
than
any
other
.
When
I
perceived
(
which
I
did
,
almost
as
soon
)
that
jealousy
was
growing
out
of
this
,
I
liked
this
society
still
better
.
Had
I
not
been
subject
to
jealousy
,
and
were
the
endurances
to
be
all
mine
?
No
.
Let
him
know
what
it
was
!
I
was
delighted
that
he
should
know
it
;
I
was
delighted
that
he
should
feel
keenly
,
and
I
hoped
he
did
.
More
than
that
.
He
was
tame
in
comparison
with
Mr
Gowan
,
who
knew
how
to
address
me
on
equal
terms
,
and
how
to
anatomise
the
wretched
people
around
us
.
This
went
on
,
until
the
aunt
,
my
Mistress
,
took
it
upon
herself
to
speak
to
me
.
It
was
scarcely
worth
alluding
to
;
she
knew
I
meant
nothing
;
but
she
suggested
from
herself
,
knowing
it
was
only
necessary
to
suggest
,
that
it
might
be
better
if
I
were
a
little
less
companionable
with
Mr
Gowan
.
I
asked
her
how
she
could
answer
for
what
I
meant
?
She
could
always
answer
,
she
replied
,
for
my
meaning
nothing
wrong
.
I
thanked
her
,
but
said
I
would
prefer
to
answer
for
myself
and
to
myself
.
Her
other
servants
would
probably
be
grateful
for
good
characters
,
but
I
wanted
none
.
Other
conversation
followed
,
and
induced
me
to
ask
her
how
she
knew
that
it
was
only
necessary
for
her
to
make
a
suggestion
to
me
,
to
have
it
obeyed
?
Did
she
presume
on
my
birth
,
or
on
my
hire
?
I
was
not
bought
,
body
and
soul
.
She
seemed
to
think
that
her
distinguished
nephew
had
gone
into
a
slave
-
market
and
purchased
a
wife
.
It
would
probably
have
come
,
sooner
or
later
,
to
the
end
to
which
it
did
come
,
but
she
brought
it
to
its
issue
at
once
.
She
told
me
,
with
assumed
commiseration
,
that
I
had
an
unhappy
temper
.
