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Estella
was
always
about
,
and
always
let
me
in
and
out
,
but
never
told
me
I
might
kiss
her
again
.
Sometimes
,
she
would
coldly
tolerate
me
;
sometimes
,
she
would
condescend
to
me
;
sometimes
,
she
would
be
quite
familiar
with
me
;
sometimes
,
she
would
tell
me
energetically
that
she
hated
me
.
Miss
Havisham
would
often
ask
me
in
a
whisper
,
or
when
we
were
alone
,
"
Does
she
grow
prettier
and
prettier
,
Pip
?
"
And
when
I
said
yes
(
for
indeed
she
did
)
,
would
seem
to
enjoy
it
greedily
.
Also
,
when
we
played
at
cards
Miss
Havisham
would
look
on
,
with
a
miserly
relish
of
Estella
’
s
moods
,
whatever
they
were
.
And
sometimes
,
when
her
moods
were
so
many
and
so
contradictory
of
one
another
that
I
was
puzzled
what
to
say
or
do
,
Miss
Havisham
would
embrace
her
with
lavish
fondness
,
murmuring
something
in
her
ear
that
sounded
like
"
Break
their
hearts
my
pride
and
hope
,
break
their
hearts
and
have
no
mercy
!
"
There
was
a
song
Joe
used
to
hum
fragments
of
at
the
forge
,
of
which
the
burden
was
Old
Clem
.
This
was
not
a
very
ceremonious
way
of
rendering
homage
to
a
patron
saint
,
but
I
believe
Old
Clem
stood
in
that
relation
towards
smiths
.
It
was
a
song
that
imitated
the
measure
of
beating
upon
iron
,
and
was
a
mere
lyrical
excuse
for
the
introduction
of
Old
Clem
’
s
respected
name
.
Thus
,
you
were
to
hammer
boys
round
—
Old
Clem
!
With
a
thump
and
a
sound
—
Old
Clem
!
Beat
it
out
,
beat
it
out
—
Old
Clem
!
With
a
clink
for
the
stout
—
Old
Clem
!
Blow
the
fire
,
blow
the
fire
—
Old
Clem
!
Roaring
dryer
,
soaring
higher
—
Old
Clem
!
One
day
soon
after
the
appearance
of
the
chair
,
Miss
Havisham
suddenly
saying
to
me
,
with
the
impatient
movement
of
her
fingers
,
"
There
,
there
,
there
!
Sing
!
"
I
was
surprised
into
crooning
this
ditty
as
I
pushed
her
over
the
floor
.
It
happened
so
to
catch
her
fancy
that
she
took
it
up
in
a
low
brooding
voice
as
if
she
were
singing
in
her
sleep
.
After
that
,
it
became
customary
with
us
to
have
it
as
we
moved
about
,
and
Estella
would
often
join
in
;
though
the
whole
strain
was
so
subdued
,
even
when
there
were
three
of
us
,
that
it
made
less
noise
in
the
grim
old
house
than
the
lightest
breath
of
wind
.
What
could
I
become
with
these
surroundings
?
How
could
my
character
fail
to
be
influenced
by
them
?
Is
it
to
be
wondered
at
if
my
thoughts
were
dazed
,
as
my
eyes
were
,
when
I
came
out
into
the
natural
light
from
the
misty
yellow
rooms
?
Perhaps
I
might
have
told
Joe
about
the
pale
young
gentleman
,
if
I
had
not
previously
been
betrayed
into
those
enormous
inventions
to
which
I
had
confessed
.
Under
the
circumstances
,
I
felt
that
Joe
could
hardly
fail
to
discern
in
the
pale
young
gentleman
,
an
appropriate
passenger
to
be
put
into
the
black
velvet
coach
;
therefore
,
I
said
nothing
of
him
.
Besides
,
that
shrinking
from
having
Miss
Havisham
and
Estella
discussed
,
which
had
come
upon
me
in
the
beginning
,
grew
much
more
potent
as
time
went
on
.
I
reposed
complete
confidence
in
no
one
but
Biddy
;
but
I
told
poor
Biddy
everything
.
Why
it
came
natural
to
me
to
do
so
,
and
why
Biddy
had
a
deep
concern
in
everything
I
told
her
,
I
did
not
know
then
,
though
I
think
I
know
now
.
Meanwhile
,
councils
went
on
in
the
kitchen
at
home
,
fraught
with
almost
insupportable
aggravation
to
my
exasperated
spirit
.
That
ass
,
Pumblechook
,
used
often
to
come
over
of
a
night
for
the
purpose
of
discussing
my
prospects
with
my
sister
;
and
I
really
do
believe
(
to
this
hour
with
less
penitence
than
I
ought
to
feel
)
,
that
if
these
hands
could
have
taken
a
linchpin
out
of
his
chaise
-
cart
,
they
would
have
done
it
.
The
miserable
man
was
a
man
of
that
confined
stolidity
of
mind
,
that
he
could
not
discuss
my
prospects
without
having
me
before
him
—
as
it
were
,
to
operate
upon
—
and
he
would
drag
me
up
from
my
stool
(
usually
by
the
collar
)
where
I
was
quiet
in
a
corner
,
and
,
putting
me
before
the
fire
as
if
I
were
going
to
be
cooked
,
would
begin
by
saying
,
"
Now
,
Mum
,
here
is
this
boy
!
Here
is
this
boy
which
you
brought
up
by
hand
.
Hold
up
your
head
,
boy
,
and
be
forever
grateful
unto
them
which
so
did
do
.
Now
,
Mum
,
with
respections
to
this
boy
!
"
And
then
he
would
rumple
my
hair
the
wrong
way
—
which
from
my
earliest
remembrance
,
as
already
hinted
,
I
have
in
my
soul
denied
the
right
of
any
fellow
-
creature
to
do
—
and
would
hold
me
before
him
by
the
sleeve
—
a
spectacle
of
imbecility
only
to
be
equalled
by
himself
.
Then
,
he
and
my
sister
would
pair
off
in
such
nonsensical
speculations
about
Miss
Havisham
,
and
about
what
she
would
do
with
me
and
for
me
,
that
I
used
to
want
—
quite
painfully
—
to
burst
into
spiteful
tears
,
fly
at
Pumblechook
,
and
pummel
him
all
over
.
In
these
dialogues
,
my
sister
spoke
to
me
as
if
she
were
morally
wrenching
one
of
my
teeth
out
at
every
reference
;
while
Pumblechook
himself
,
self
-
constituted
my
patron
,
would
sit
supervising
me
with
a
depreciatory
eye
,
like
the
architect
of
my
fortunes
who
thought
himself
engaged
on
a
very
unremunerative
job
.
