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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Большие ожидания
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- Стр. 377/435
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It
is
so
difficult
to
become
clearly
possessed
of
the
contents
of
almost
any
letter
,
in
a
violent
hurry
,
that
I
had
to
read
this
mysterious
epistle
again
twice
,
before
its
injunction
to
me
to
be
secret
got
mechanically
into
my
mind
.
Yielding
to
it
in
the
same
mechanical
kind
of
way
,
I
left
a
note
in
pencil
for
Herbert
,
telling
him
that
as
I
should
be
so
soon
going
away
,
I
knew
not
for
how
long
,
I
had
decided
to
hurry
down
and
back
,
to
ascertain
for
myself
how
Miss
Havisham
was
faring
.
I
had
then
barely
time
to
get
my
great
-
coat
,
lock
up
the
chambers
,
and
make
for
the
coach
-
office
by
the
short
by
-
ways
.
If
I
had
taken
a
hackney
-
chariot
and
gone
by
the
streets
,
I
should
have
missed
my
aim
;
going
as
I
did
,
I
caught
the
coach
just
as
it
came
out
of
the
yard
.
I
was
the
only
inside
passenger
,
jolting
away
knee
-
deep
in
straw
,
when
I
came
to
myself
.
For
I
really
had
not
been
myself
since
the
receipt
of
the
letter
;
it
had
so
bewildered
me
,
ensuing
on
the
hurry
of
the
morning
.
The
morning
hurry
and
flutter
had
been
great
;
for
,
long
and
anxiously
as
I
had
waited
for
Wemmick
,
his
hint
had
come
like
a
surprise
at
last
.
And
now
I
began
to
wonder
at
myself
for
being
in
the
coach
,
and
to
doubt
whether
I
had
sufficient
reason
for
being
there
,
and
to
consider
whether
I
should
get
out
presently
and
go
back
,
and
to
argue
against
ever
heeding
an
anonymous
communication
,
and
,
in
short
,
to
pass
through
all
those
phases
of
contradiction
and
indecision
to
which
I
suppose
very
few
hurried
people
are
strangers
.
Still
,
the
reference
to
Provis
by
name
mastered
everything
.
I
reasoned
as
I
had
reasoned
already
without
knowing
it
,
—
if
that
be
reasoning
—
in
case
any
harm
should
befall
him
through
my
not
going
,
how
could
I
ever
forgive
myself
!
It
was
dark
before
we
got
down
,
and
the
journey
seemed
long
and
dreary
to
me
,
who
could
see
little
of
it
inside
,
and
who
could
not
go
outside
in
my
disabled
state
.
Avoiding
the
Blue
Boar
,
I
put
up
at
an
inn
of
minor
reputation
down
the
town
,
and
ordered
some
dinner
.
While
it
was
preparing
,
I
went
to
Satis
House
and
inquired
for
Miss
Havisham
;
she
was
still
very
ill
,
though
considered
something
better
.
My
inn
had
once
been
a
part
of
an
ancient
ecclesiastical
house
,
and
I
dined
in
a
little
octagonal
common
-
room
,
like
a
font
.
As
I
was
not
able
to
cut
my
dinner
,
the
old
landlord
with
a
shining
bald
head
did
it
for
me
.
This
bringing
us
into
conversation
,
he
was
so
good
as
to
entertain
me
with
my
own
story
—
of
course
with
the
popular
feature
that
Pumblechook
was
my
earliest
benefactor
and
the
founder
of
my
fortunes
.
"
Do
you
know
the
young
man
?
"
said
I
.
"
Know
him
!
"
repeated
the
landlord
.
"
Ever
since
he
was
—
no
height
at
all
.
"
"
Does
he
ever
come
back
to
this
neighborhood
?
"
"
Ay
,
he
comes
back
,
"
said
the
landlord
,
"
to
his
great
friends
,
now
and
again
,
and
gives
the
cold
shoulder
to
the
man
that
made
him
.
"
"
What
man
is
that
?
"
