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"
No
,
"
she
said
,
"
I
want
to
read
this
book
.
"
It
was
called
Love
and
Orgasm
:
A
Revolutionary
Guide
to
Sexual
Fulfillment
.
"
All
right
,
"
I
said
,
"
I
’
ll
take
a
walk
then
.
"
I
walked
up
to
the
mountain
spring
.
I
reached
in
for
another
beer
,
opened
it
and
sat
there
drinking
.
I
was
trapped
in
the
mountains
and
woods
with
two
crazy
women
.
They
took
all
the
joy
out
of
fucking
by
talking
about
it
all
the
time
.
I
liked
to
fuck
too
,
but
it
wasn
’
t
my
religion
.
There
were
too
many
ridiculous
and
tragic
things
about
it
.
People
didn
’
t
seem
to
know
how
to
handle
it
.
So
they
made
a
toy
out
of
it
.
A
toy
that
destroyed
people
.
The
main
thing
,
I
decided
,
was
to
find
the
right
woman
.
But
how
?
I
had
a
red
notebook
and
a
pen
with
me
.
I
scribbled
a
meditative
poem
into
it
.
Then
I
walked
up
to
the
lake
.
Vance
Pastures
,
the
place
was
called
.
The
sisters
owned
most
of
it
.
I
had
to
take
a
shit
.
I
took
off
my
pants
and
squatted
in
the
brush
with
the
flies
and
the
mosquitoes
.
I
’
d
take
the
conveniences
of
the
city
any
time
.
I
had
to
wipe
with
leaves
.
I
walked
over
to
the
lake
and
stuck
one
foot
in
the
water
.
It
was
ice
cold
.
Be
a
man
,
old
man
.
Enter
.
My
skin
was
ivory
white
.
I
felt
very
old
,
very
soft
.
I
moved
out
into
the
ice
water
.
I
went
in
up
to
my
waist
,
then
I
took
a
deep
breath
and
leaped
forward
.
I
was
all
the
way
in
!
The
mud
swirled
up
from
the
bottom
and
got
into
my
ears
,
my
mouth
,
my
hair
.
I
stood
there
in
the
muddy
water
,
my
teeth
chattering
.
I
waited
a
long
time
for
the
water
to
settle
and
clear
.
Then
I
walked
back
out
.
I
got
dressed
and
made
my
way
along
the
edge
of
the
lake
.
When
I
got
to
the
end
of
the
lake
I
heard
a
sound
like
that
of
a
waterfall
.
I
went
into
a
forest
,
moving
toward
the
sound
.
I
had
to
climb
around
some
rocks
across
a
gully
.
The
sound
came
closer
and
closer
.
The
flies
and
mosquitoes
swarmed
all
over
me
.
The
flies
were
large
and
angry
and
hungry
,
much
larger
than
city
flies
,
and
they
knew
a
meal
when
they
saw
one
.
I
pushed
my
way
through
some
thick
brush
and
there
it
was
:
my
first
real
honest
-
to
-
Christ
waterfall
.
The
water
just
poured
down
the
mountain
and
over
a
rocky
ledge
.
It
was
beautiful
.
It
kept
coming
and
coming
.
That
water
was
coming
from
somewhere
.
And
it
was
running
off
somewhere
.
There
were
3
or
4
streams
that
probably
led
to
the
lake
.
Finally
I
got
tired
of
watching
it
and
decided
to
go
back
.
I
also
decided
to
take
a
different
route
back
,
a
shortcut
.
I
worked
my
way
down
to
the
opposite
side
of
the
lake
and
cut
off
toward
camp
.
I
knew
about
where
it
was
.
I
still
had
my
red
notebook
.
I
stopped
and
wrote
another
poem
,
less
meditative
,
then
I
went
on
.
I
kept
walking
.
The
camp
didn
’
t
appear
.
I
walked
some
more
.
I
looked
around
for
the
lake
.
I
couldn
’
t
find
the
lake
,
I
didn
’
t
know
where
it
was
.
Suddenly
it
hit
me
:
I
was
LOST
.
Those
horny
sex
bitches
had
driven
me
out
of
my
mind
and
now
I
was
LOST
.
I
looked
around
.
There
was
the
backdrop
of
mountains
and
all
around
me
were
trees
and
brush
.
There
was
no
center
,
no
starting
point
,
no
connection
between
anything
.
I
felt
fear
,
real
fear
.
Why
had
I
let
them
take
me
out
of
my
city
,
my
Los
Angeles
?
A
man
could
call
a
cab
there
,
he
could
telephone
.
There
were
reasonable
solutions
to
reasonable
problems
.
