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My
doctor
told
me
to
chew
valerian
root
and
get
more
exercise
.
Eventually
I
'd
fall
asleep
.
The
bruised
,
old
fruit
way
my
face
had
collapsed
,
you
would
've
thought
I
was
dead
.
My
doctor
said
,
if
I
wanted
to
see
real
pain
,
I
should
swing
by
First
Eucharist
on
a
Tuesday
night
.
See
the
brain
parasites
.
See
the
degenerative
bone
diseases
.
The
organic
brain
dysfunctions
.
See
the
cancer
patients
getting
by
.
So
I
went
.
The
first
group
I
went
to
,
there
were
introductions
:
this
is
Alice
,
this
is
Brenda
,
this
is
Dover
.
Everyone
smiles
with
that
invisible
gun
to
their
head
.
I
never
give
my
real
name
at
support
groups
.
The
little
skeleton
of
a
woman
named
Chloe
with
the
seat
of
her
pants
hanging
down
sad
and
empty
,
Chloe
tells
me
the
worst
thing
about
her
brain
parasites
was
no
one
would
have
sex
with
her
.
Here
she
was
,
so
close
to
death
that
her
life
insurance
policy
had
paid
off
with
seventy-five
thousand
bucks
,
and
all
Chloe
wanted
was
to
get
laid
for
the
last
time
.
Not
intimacy
,
sex
.
What
does
a
guy
say
?
What
can
you
say
,
I
mean
.
All
this
dying
had
started
with
Chloe
being
a
little
tired
,
and
now
Chloe
was
too
bored
to
go
in
for
treatment
.
Pornographic
movies
,
she
had
pornographic
movies
at
home
in
her
apartment
.
During
the
French
Revolution
,
Chloe
told
me
,
the
women
in
prison
,
the
duchesses
,
baronesses
,
marquises
,
whatever
,
they
would
screw
any
man
who
'd
climb
on
top
.
Chloe
breathed
against
my
neck
.
Climb
on
top
.
Pony
up
,
did
I
know
.
Screwing
passed
the
time
.