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Short
matte
black
hair
,
big
eyes
the
way
they
are
in
Japanese
animation
,
skim
milk
thin
,
buttermilk
sallow
in
her
dress
with
a
wallpaper
pattern
of
dark
roses
,
this
woman
was
also
in
my
tuberculosis
support
group
Friday
night
.
She
was
in
my
melanoma
round
table
Wednesday
night
.
Monday
night
she
was
in
my
Firm
Believers
leukemia
rap
group
.
The
part
down
the
center
of
her
hair
is
a
crooked
lightning
bolt
of
white
scalp
.
When
you
look
for
these
support
groups
,
they
all
have
vague
upbeat
names
.
My
Thursday
evening
group
for
blood
parasites
,
it
's
called
Free
and
Clear
.
The
group
I
go
to
for
brain
parasites
is
called
Above
and
Beyond
.
And
Sunday
afternoon
at
Remaining
Men
Together
in
the
basement
of
Trinity
Episcopal
,
this
woman
is
here
,
again
.
Worse
than
that
,
I
ca
n't
cry
with
her
watching
.
This
should
be
my
favorite
part
,
being
held
and
crying
with
Big
Bob
without
hope
.
We
all
work
so
hard
all
the
time
.
This
is
the
only
place
I
ever
really
relax
and
give
up
.
This
is
my
vacation
.
I
went
to
my
first
support
group
two
years
ago
,
after
I
'd
gone
to
my
doctor
about
my
insomnia
,
again
.
Three
weeks
and
I
had
n't
slept
.
Three
weeks
without
sleep
,
and
everything
becomes
an
out-of-body
experience
.
My
doctor
said
,
"
Insomnia
is
just
the
symptom
of
something
larger
.
Find
out
what
's
actually
wrong
.
Listen
to
your
body
.
"
I
just
wanted
to
sleep
.
I
wanted
little
blue
Amytal
Sodium
capsules
,
200
milligram-sized
.
I
wanted
red-and-blue
Tuinal
bullet
capsules
,
lipstick-red
Seconals
.
