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I
had
to
ask
what
Bob
meant
by
huevos
.
Huevos
,
Bob
said
.
Gonads
.
Nuts
.
Jewels
.
Testes
.
Balls
.
In
Mexico
,
where
you
buy
your
steroids
,
they
call
them
"
eggs
.
"
Divorce
,
divorce
,
divorce
,
Bob
said
and
showed
me
a
wallet
photo
of
himself
huge
and
naked
at
first
glance
,
in
a
posing
strap
at
some
contest
.
It
's
a
stupid
way
to
live
,
Bob
said
,
but
when
you
're
pumped
and
shaved
on
stage
,
totally
shredded
with
body
fat
down
to
around
two
percent
and
the
diuretics
leave
you
cold
and
hard
as
concrete
to
touch
.
You
're
blind
from
the
lights
,
and
deaf
from
the
feedback
rush
of
the
sound
system
until
the
judge
orders
:
"
Extend
your
right
quad
,
flex
and
hold
.
"
"
Extend
your
left
arm
,
flex
the
bicep
and
hold
.
"
This
is
better
than
real
life
.
Fast-forward
,
Bob
said
,
to
the
cancer
.
Then
he
was
bankrupt
.
He
had
two
grown
kids
who
would
n't
return
his
calls
.
The
cure
for
bitch
tits
was
for
the
doctor
to
cut
up
under
the
pectorals
and
drain
any
fluid
.
This
was
all
I
remember
because
then
Bob
was
closing
in
around
me
with
his
arms
,
and
his
head
was
folding
down
to
cover
me
.
Then
I
was
lost
inside
oblivion
,
dark
and
silent
and
complete
,
and
when
I
finally
stepped
away
from
his
soft
chest
,
the
front
of
Bob
's
shirt
was
a
wet
mask
of
how
I
looked
crying
.
That
was
two
years
ago
,
at
my
first
night
with
Remaining
Men
Together
.