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It
was
only
an
instant
,
a
conviction
without
words
,
a
knowledge
grasped
as
a
feeling
,
left
unsealed
by
his
mind
.
The
shock
brought
him
back
to
the
sight
of
Lillian
and
to
the
sound
of
her
words
.
She
appeared
to
him
suddenly
as
some
inconsequential
presence
that
had
to
be
dealt
with
at
the
moment
.
"
Lillian
,
"
he
said
,
in
an
unstressed
voice
that
did
not
grant
her
even
the
honor
of
anger
,
"
you
are
not
to
speak
of
her
to
me
.
If
you
ever
do
it
again
,
I
will
answer
you
as
I
would
answer
a
hoodlum
:
I
will
beat
you
up
.
Neither
you
nor
anyone
else
is
to
discuss
her
.
"
She
glanced
at
him
.
"
Really
?
"
she
said
.
It
had
an
odd
,
casual
sound
—
as
if
the
word
were
tossed
away
,
leaving
some
hook
implanted
in
her
mind
.
She
seemed
to
be
considering
some
sudden
vision
of
her
own
.
He
said
quietly
,
in
weary
astonishment
,
"
I
thought
you
would
be
glad
to
discover
the
truth
.
I
thought
you
would
prefer
to
know
—
for
the
sake
of
whatever
love
or
respect
you
felt
for
me
—
that
if
I
betrayed
you
,
it
was
not
cheaply
and
casually
,
it
was
not
for
a
chorus
girl
,
but
for
the
cleanest
and
most
serious
feeling
of
my
life
.
"
The
ferocious
spring
with
which
she
whirled
to
him
was
involuntary
,
as
was
the
naked
twist
of
hatred
in
her
face
.
"
Oh
,
you
goddamn
fool
!
"
He
remained
silent
.
Her
composure
returned
,
with
the
faint
suggestion
of
a
smile
of
secret
mockery
.
"
I
believe
you
’
re
waiting
for
my
answer
?
"
she
said
.
"
No
,
I
won
’
t
divorce
you
.
Don
’
t
ever
hope
for
that
.
We
shall
continue
as
we
are
—
if
that
is
what
you
offered
and
if
you
think
it
can
continue
.
See
whether
you
can
flout
all
moral
principles
and
get
away
with
it
!
"
He
did
not
listen
to
her
while
she
reached
for
her
coat
,
telling
him
that
she
was
going
back
to
their
home
.
He
barely
noticed
it
when
the
door
closed
after
her
.
He
stood
motionless
,
held
by
a
feeling
he
had
never
experienced
before
.
He
knew
that
he
would
have
to
think
later
,
to
think
and
understand
,
but
for
the
moment
he
wanted
nothing
but
to
observe
the
wonder
of
what
he
felt
.
It
was
a
sense
of
freedom
,
as
if
he
stood
alone
in
the
midst
of
an
endless
sweep
of
clean
air
,
with
only
the
memory
of
some
weight
that
had
been
torn
off
his
shoulders
.
It
was
the
feeling
of
an
immense
deliverance
It
was
the
knowledge
that
it
did
not
matter
to
him
what
Lillian
felt
,
what
she
suffered
or
what
became
of
her
,
and
more
:
not
only
that
it
did
not
matter
,
but
the
shining
,
guiltless
knowledge
that
it
did
not
have
to
matter
.
