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I
cannot
leave
the
university
in
the
middle
of
the
term
.
If
I
were
free
,
my
course
would
be
obvious
.
I
should
start
at
once
and
travel
in
Persia
.
But
would
she
allow
me
to
start
?
And
could
her
influence
not
reach
me
in
Persia
,
and
bring
me
back
to
within
touch
of
her
crutch
?
I
can
only
find
out
the
limits
of
this
hellish
power
by
my
own
bitter
experience
.
I
will
fight
and
fight
and
fight
—
and
what
can
I
do
more
?
I
know
very
well
that
about
eight
o
’
clock
to
-
night
that
craving
for
her
society
,
that
irresistible
restlessness
,
will
come
upon
me
.
How
shall
I
overcome
it
?
What
shall
I
do
?
I
must
make
it
impossible
for
me
to
leave
the
room
.
I
shall
lock
the
door
and
throw
the
key
out
of
the
window
.
But
,
then
,
what
am
I
to
do
in
the
morning
?
Never
mind
about
the
morning
.
I
must
at
all
costs
break
this
chain
which
holds
me
.
April
9
.
Victory
!
I
have
done
splendidly
!
At
seven
o
’
clock
last
night
I
took
a
hasty
dinner
,
and
then
locked
myself
up
in
my
bedroom
and
dropped
the
key
into
the
garden
.
I
chose
a
cheery
novel
,
and
lay
in
bed
for
three
hours
trying
to
read
it
,
but
really
in
a
horrible
state
of
trepidation
,
expecting
every
instant
that
I
should
become
conscious
of
the
impulse
.
Nothing
of
the
sort
occurred
,
however
,
and
I
awoke
this
morning
with
the
feeling
that
a
black
nightmare
had
been
lifted
off
me
.
Perhaps
the
creature
realized
what
I
had
done
,
and
understood
that
it
was
useless
to
try
to
influence
me
.
At
any
rate
,
I
have
beaten
her
once
,
and
if
I
can
do
it
once
,
I
can
do
it
again
.
It
was
most
awkward
about
the
key
in
the
morning
.
Luckily
,
there
was
an
under
-
gardener
below
,
and
I
asked
him
to
throw
it
up
.
No
doubt
he
thought
I
had
just
dropped
it
.
I
will
have
doors
and
windows
screwed
up
and
six
stout
men
to
hold
me
down
in
my
bed
before
I
will
surrender
myself
to
be
hag
-
ridden
in
this
way
.
I
had
a
note
from
Mrs
.
Marden
this
afternoon
asking
me
to
go
round
and
see
her
.
I
intended
to
do
so
in
any
case
,
but
had
not
excepted
to
find
bad
news
waiting
for
me
.
It
seems
that
the
Armstrongs
,
from
whom
Agatha
has
expectations
,
are
due
home
from
Adelaide
in
the
Aurora
,
and
that
they
have
written
to
Mrs
.
Marden
and
her
to
meet
them
in
town
.
They
will
probably
be
away
for
a
month
or
six
weeks
,
and
,
as
the
Aurora
is
due
on
Wednesday
,
they
must
go
at
once
—
to
-
morrow
,
if
they
are
ready
in
time
.
My
consolation
is
that
when
we
meet
again
there
will
be
no
more
parting
between
Agatha
and
me
.
"
I
want
you
to
do
one
thing
,
Agatha
,
"
said
I
,
when
we
were
alone
together
.
"
If
you
should
happen
to
meet
Miss
Penclosa
,
either
in
town
or
here
,
you
must
promise
me
never
again
to
allow
her
to
mesmerize
you
.
"
Agatha
opened
her
eyes
.
"
Why
,
it
was
only
the
other
day
that
you
were
saying
how
interesting
it
all
was
,
and
how
determined
you
were
to
finish
your
experiments
.
"
"
I
know
,
but
I
have
changed
my
mind
since
then
.
"
"
And
you
won
’
t
have
it
any
more
?
"
"
No
.
"
"
I
am
so
glad
,
Austin
.
You
can
’
t
think
how
pale
and
worn
you
have
been
lately
.
It
was
really
our
principal
objection
to
going
to
London
now
that
we
did
not
wish
to
leave
you
when
you
were
so
pulled
down
.
And
your
manner
has
been
so
strange
occasionally
—
especially
that
night
when
you
left
poor
Professor
Pratt
-
Haldane
to
play
dummy
.
I
am
convinced
that
these
experiments
are
very
bad
for
your
nerves
.
"
"
I
think
so
,
too
,
dear
.
"
"
And
for
Miss
Penclosa
’
s
nerves
as
well
.
You
have
heard
that
she
is
ill
?
"
"
No
.
"
"
Mrs
.
Wilson
told
us
so
last
night
.
She
described
it
as
a
nervous
fever
.
Professor
Wilson
is
coming
back
this
week
,
and
of
course
Mrs
.
Wilson
is
very
anxious
that
Miss
Penclosa
should
be
well
again
then
,
for
he
has
quite
a
programme
of
experiments
which
he
is
anxious
to
carry
out
.
"
I
was
glad
to
have
Agatha
’
s
promise
,
for
it
was
enough
that
this
woman
should
have
one
of
us
in
her
clutch
.
On
the
other
hand
,
I
was
disturbed
to
hear
about
Miss
Penclosa
’
s
illness
.
It
rather
discounts
the
victory
which
I
appeared
to
win
last
night
.
I
remember
that
she
said
that
loss
of
health
interfered
with
her
power
.
That
may
be
why
I
was
able
to
hold
my
own
so
easily
.
Well
,
well
,
I
must
take
the
same
precautions
to
-
night
and
see
what
comes
of
it
.
I
am
childishly
frightened
when
I
think
of
her
.
April
10
.
All
went
very
well
last
night
.
I
was
amused
at
the
gardener
’
s
face
when
I
had
again
to
hail
him
this
morning
and
to
ask
him
to
throw
up
my
key
.
I
shall
get
a
name
among
the
servants
if
this
sort
of
thing
goes
on
.
But
the
great
point
is
that
I
stayed
in
my
room
without
the
slightest
inclination
to
leave
it
.
I
do
believe
that
I
am
shaking
myself
clear
of
this
incredible
bond
—
or
is
it
only
that
the
woman
’
s
power
is
in
abeyance
until
she
recovers
her
strength
?
I
can
but
pray
for
the
best
.
The
Mardens
left
this
morning
,
and
the
brightness
seems
to
have
gone
out
of
the
spring
sunshine
.
And
yet
it
is
very
beautiful
also
as
it
gleams
on
the
green
chestnuts
opposite
my
windows
,
and
gives
a
touch
of
gayety
to
the
heavy
,
lichen
-
mottled
walls
of
the
old
colleges
.
How
sweet
and
gentle
and
soothing
is
Nature
!
Who
would
think
that
there
lurked
in
her
also
such
vile
forces
,
such
odious
possibilities
!
For
of
course
I
understand
that
this
dreadful
thing
which
has
sprung
out
at
me
is
neither
supernatural
nor
even
preternatural
.
No
,
it
is
a
natural
force
which
this
woman
can
use
and
society
is
ignorant
of
.
The
mere
fact
that
it
ebbs
with
her
strength
shows
how
entirely
it
is
subject
to
physical
laws
.
If
I
had
time
,
I
might
probe
it
to
the
bottom
and
lay
my
hands
upon
its
antidote
.
But
you
cannot
tame
the
tiger
when
you
are
beneath
his
claws
.
You
can
but
try
to
writhe
away
from
him
.
Ah
,
when
I
look
in
the
glass
and
see
my
own
dark
eyes
and
clear
-
cut
Spanish
face
,
I
long
for
a
vitriol
splash
or
a
bout
of
the
small
-
pox
.
One
or
the
other
might
have
saved
me
from
this
calamity
.
I
am
inclined
to
think
that
I
may
have
trouble
to
-
night
.
There
are
two
things
which
make
me
fear
so
.
One
is
that
I
met
Mrs
.
Wilson
in
the
street
,
and
that
she
tells
me
that
Miss
Penclosa
is
better
,
though
still
weak
.
I
find
myself
wishing
in
my
heart
that
the
illness
had
been
her
last
.
The
other
is
that
Professor
Wilson
comes
back
in
a
day
or
two
,
and
his
presence
would
act
as
a
constraint
upon
her
.
I
should
not
fear
our
interviews
if
a
third
person
were
present
.
For
both
these
reasons
I
have
a
presentiment
of
trouble
to
-
night
,
and
I
shall
take
the
same
precautions
as
before
.
April
10
.
No
,
thank
God
,
all
went
well
last
night
.
I
really
could
not
face
the
gardener
again
.
I
locked
my
door
and
thrust
the
key
underneath
it
,
so
that
I
had
to
ask
the
maid
to
let
me
out
in
the
morning
.
But
the
precaution
was
really
not
needed
,
for
I
never
had
any
inclination
to
go
out
at
all
.
Three
evenings
in
succession
at
home
!
I
am
surely
near
the
end
of
my
troubles
,
for
Wilson
will
be
home
again
either
today
or
tomorrow
.
Shall
I
tell
him
of
what
I
have
gone
through
or
not
?
I
am
convinced
that
I
should
not
have
the
slightest
sympathy
from
him
.
He
would
look
upon
me
as
an
interesting
case
,
and
read
a
paper
about
me
at
the
next
meeting
of
the
Psychical
Society
,
in
which
he
would
gravely
discuss
the
possibility
of
my
being
a
deliberate
liar
,
and
weigh
it
against
the
chances
of
my
being
in
an
early
stage
of
lunacy
.
No
,
I
shall
get
no
comfort
out
of
Wilson
.
I
am
feeling
wonderfully
fit
and
well
.
I
don
’
t
think
I
ever
lectured
with
greater
spirit
.
Oh
,
if
I
could
only
get
this
shadow
off
my
life
,
how
happy
I
should
be
!
Young
,
fairly
wealthy
,
in
the
front
rank
of
my
profession
,
engaged
to
a
beautiful
and
charming
girl
—
have
I
not
every
thing
which
a
man
could
ask
for
?
Only
one
thing
to
trouble
me
,
but
what
a
thing
it
is
!
Midnight
.
I
shall
go
mad
.
Yes
,
that
will
be
the
end
of
it
.
I
shall
go
mad
.
I
am
not
far
from
it
now
.
My
head
throbs
as
I
rest
it
on
my
hot
hand
.
I
am
quivering
all
over
like
a
scared
horse
.
Oh
,
what
a
night
I
have
had
!
And
yet
I
have
some
cause
to
be
satisfied
also
.
At
the
risk
of
becoming
the
laughing
-
stock
of
my
own
servant
,
I
again
slipped
my
key
under
the
door
,
imprisoning
myself
for
the
night
.
Then
,
finding
it
too
early
to
go
to
bed
,
I
lay
down
with
my
clothes
on
and
began
to
read
one
of
Dumas
’
s
novels
.
Suddenly
I
was
gripped
—
gripped
and
dragged
from
the
couch
.
It
is
only
thus
that
I
can
describe
the
overpowering
nature
of
the
force
which
pounced
upon
me
.
I
clawed
at
the
coverlet
.
I
clung
to
the
wood
-
work
.
I
believe
that
I
screamed
out
in
my
frenzy
.
It
was
all
useless
,
hopeless
.
I
MUST
go
.
There
was
no
way
out
of
it
.
It
was
only
at
the
outset
that
I
resisted
.
The
force
soon
became
too
overmastering
for
that
.
I
thank
goodness
that
there
were
no
watchers
there
to
interfere
with
me
.
I
could
not
have
answered
for
myself
if
there
had
been
.
And
,
besides
the
determination
to
get
out
,
there
came
to
me
,
also
,
the
keenest
and
coolest
judgment
in
choosing
my
means
.
I
lit
a
candle
and
endeavored
,
kneeling
in
front
of
the
door
,
to
pull
the
key
through
with
the
feather
-
end
of
a
quill
pen
.
It
was
just
too
short
and
pushed
it
further
away
.
Then
with
quiet
persistence
I
got
a
paper
-
knife
out
of
one
of
the
drawers
,
and
with
that
I
managed
to
draw
the
key
back
.
I
opened
the
door
,
stepped
into
my
study
,
took
a
photograph
of
myself
from
the
bureau
,
wrote
something
across
it
,
placed
it
in
the
inside
pocket
of
my
coat
,
and
then
started
off
for
Wilson
’
s
.
It
was
all
wonderfully
clear
,
and
yet
disassociated
from
the
rest
of
my
life
,
as
the
incidents
of
even
the
most
vivid
dream
might
be
.
A
peculiar
double
consciousness
possessed
me
.
There
was
the
predominant
alien
will
,
which
was
bent
upon
drawing
me
to
the
side
of
its
owner
,
and
there
was
the
feebler
protesting
personality
,
which
I
recognized
as
being
myself
,
tugging
feebly
at
the
overmastering
impulse
as
a
led
terrier
might
at
its
chain
.
I
can
remember
recognizing
these
two
conflicting
forces
,
but
I
recall
nothing
of
my
walk
,
nor
of
how
I
was
admitted
to
the
house
.
Very
vivid
,
however
,
is
my
recollection
of
how
I
met
Miss
Penclosa
.
She
was
reclining
on
the
sofa
in
the
little
boudoir
in
which
our
experiments
had
usually
been
carried
out
.
Her
head
was
rested
on
her
hand
,
and
a
tiger
-
skin
rug
had
been
partly
drawn
over
her
.
She
looked
up
expectantly
as
I
entered
,
and
,
as
the
lamp
-
light
fell
upon
her
face
,
I
could
see
that
she
was
very
pale
and
thin
,
with
dark
hollows
under
her
eyes
.
She
smiled
at
me
,
and
pointed
to
a
stool
beside
her
.
It
was
with
her
left
hand
that
she
pointed
,
and
I
,
running
eagerly
forward
,
seized
it
,
—
I
loathe
myself
as
I
think
of
it
,
—
and
pressed
it
passionately
to
my
lips
.
Then
,
seating
myself
upon
the
stool
,
and
still
retaining
her
hand
,
I
gave
her
the
photograph
which
I
had
brought
with
me
,
and
talked
and
talked
and
talked
—
of
my
love
for
her
,
of
my
grief
over
her
illness
,
of
my
joy
at
her
recovery
,
of
the
misery
it
was
to
me
to
be
absent
a
single
evening
from
her
side
.
She
lay
quietly
looking
down
at
me
with
imperious
eyes
and
her
provocative
smile
.
Once
I
remember
that
she
passed
her
hand
over
my
hair
as
one
caresses
a
dog
;
and
it
gave
me
pleasure
—
the
caress
.
I
thrilled
under
it
.
I
was
her
slave
,
body
and
soul
,
and
for
the
moment
I
rejoiced
in
my
slavery
.
And
then
came
the
blessed
change
.
Never
tell
me
that
there
is
not
a
Providence
!
I
was
on
the
brink
of
perdition
.
My
feet
were
on
the
edge
.
Was
it
a
coincidence
that
at
that
very
instant
help
should
come
?
No
,
no
,
no
;
there
is
a
Providence
,
and
its
hand
has
drawn
me
back
.
There
is
something
in
the
universe
stronger
than
this
devil
woman
with
her
tricks
.
Ah
,
what
a
balm
to
my
heart
it
is
to
think
so
!
As
I
looked
up
at
her
I
was
conscious
of
a
change
in
her
.
Her
face
,
which
had
been
pale
before
,
was
now
ghastly
.
Her
eyes
were
dull
,
and
the
lids
drooped
heavily
over
them
.
Above
all
,
the
look
of
serene
confidence
had
gone
from
her
features
.
Her
mouth
had
weakened
.
Her
forehead
had
puckered
.
She
was
frightened
and
undecided
.
And
as
I
watched
the
change
my
own
spirit
fluttered
and
struggled
,
trying
hard
to
tear
itself
from
the
grip
which
held
it
—
a
grip
which
,
from
moment
to
moment
,
grew
less
secure
.
"
Austin
,
"
she
whispered
,
"
I
have
tried
to
do
too
much
.
I
was
not
strong
enough
.
I
have
not
recovered
yet
from
my
illness
.
But
I
could
not
live
longer
without
seeing
you
.
You
won
’
t
leave
me
,
Austin
?
This
is
only
a
passing
weakness
.
If
you
will
only
give
me
five
minutes
,
I
shall
be
myself
again
.
Give
me
the
small
decanter
from
the
table
in
the
window
.
"
But
I
had
regained
my
soul
.
With
her
waning
strength
the
influence
had
cleared
away
from
me
and
left
me
free
.
And
I
was
aggressive
—
bitterly
,
fiercely
aggressive
.
For
once
at
least
I
could
make
this
woman
understand
what
my
real
feelings
toward
her
were
.
My
soul
was
filled
with
a
hatred
as
bestial
as
the
love
against
which
it
was
a
reaction
.
It
was
the
savage
,
murderous
passion
of
the
revolted
serf
.
I
could
have
taken
the
crutch
from
her
side
and
beaten
her
face
in
with
it
.
She
threw
her
hands
up
,
as
if
to
avoid
a
blow
,
and
cowered
away
from
me
into
the
corner
of
the
settee
.
"
The
brandy
!
"
she
gasped
.
"
The
brandy
!
"
I
took
the
decanter
and
poured
it
over
the
roots
of
a
palm
in
the
window
.
Then
I
snatched
the
photograph
from
her
hand
and
tore
it
into
a
hundred
pieces
.
"
You
vile
woman
,
"
I
said
,
"
if
I
did
my
duty
to
society
,
you
would
never
leave
this
room
alive
!
"
"
I
love
you
,
Austin
;
I
love
you
!
"
she
wailed
.
"
Yes
,
"
I
cried
,
"
and
Charles
Sadler
before
.
And
how
many
others
before
that
?
"
"
Charles
Sadler
!
"
she
gasped
.
"
He
has
spoken
to
you
?
So
,
Charles
Sadler
,
Charles
Sadler
!
"
Her
voice
came
through
her
white
lips
like
a
snake
’
s
hiss
.
"
Yes
,
I
know
you
,
and
others
shall
know
you
,
too
.
You
shameless
creature
!
You
knew
how
I
stood
.
And
yet
you
used
your
vile
power
to
bring
me
to
your
side
.
You
may
,
perhaps
,
do
so
again
,
but
at
least
you
will
remember
that
you
have
heard
me
say
that
I
love
Miss
Marden
from
the
bottom
of
my
soul
,
and
that
I
loathe
you
,
abhor
you
!
"
The
very
sight
of
you
and
the
sound
of
your
voice
fill
me
with
horror
and
disgust
.
The
thought
of
you
is
repulsive
.
That
is
how
I
feel
toward
you
,
and
if
it
pleases
you
by
your
tricks
to
draw
me
again
to
your
side
as
you
have
done
to
-
night
,
you
will
at
least
,
I
should
think
,
have
little
satisfaction
in
trying
to
make
a
lover
out
of
a
man
who
has
told
you
his
real
opinion
of
you
.
You
may
put
what
words
you
will
into
my
mouth
,
but
you
cannot
help
remembering
—
—
"
I
stopped
,
for
the
woman
’
s
head
had
fallen
back
,
and
she
had
fainted
.
She
could
not
bear
to
hear
what
I
had
to
say
to
her
!
What
a
glow
of
satisfaction
it
gives
me
to
think
that
,
come
what
may
,
in
the
future
she
can
never
misunderstand
my
true
feelings
toward
her
.
But
what
will
occur
in
the
future
?
What
will
she
do
next
?
I
dare
not
think
of
it
.
Oh
,
if
only
I
could
hope
that
she
will
leave
me
alone
!
But
when
I
think
of
what
I
said
to
her
—
—
Never
mind
;
I
have
been
stronger
than
she
for
once
.
April
11
.
I
hardly
slept
last
night
,
and
found
myself
in
the
morning
so
unstrung
and
feverish
that
I
was
compelled
to
ask
Pratt
-
Haldane
to
do
my
lecture
for
me
.
It
is
the
first
that
I
have
ever
missed
.
I
rose
at
mid
-
day
,
but
my
head
is
aching
,
my
hands
quivering
,
and
my
nerves
in
a
pitiable
state
.
Who
should
come
round
this
evening
but
Wilson
.
He
has
just
come
back
from
London
,
where
he
has
lectured
,
read
papers
,
convened
meetings
,
exposed
a
medium
,
conducted
a
series
of
experiments
on
thought
transference
,
entertained
Professor
Richet
of
Paris
,
spent
hours
gazing
into
a
crystal
,
and
obtained
some
evidence
as
to
the
passage
of
matter
through
matter
.
All
this
he
poured
into
my
ears
in
a
single
gust
.
"
But
you
!
"
he
cried
at
last
.
"
You
are
not
looking
well
.
And
Miss
Penclosa
is
quite
prostrated
to
-
day
.
How
about
the
experiments
?
"
"
I
have
abandoned
them
.
"
"
Tut
,
tut
!
Why
?
"
"
The
subject
seems
to
me
to
be
a
dangerous
one
.
"
Out
came
his
big
brown
note
-
book
.
"
This
is
of
great
interest
,
"
said
he
.
