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81
I
respect
you
(
she
addressed
silently
him
in
person
)
in
every
atom
;
you
are
not
vain
;
you
are
entirely
impersonal
;
you
are
finer
than
Mr.
Ramsay
;
you
are
the
finest
human
being
that
I
know
;
you
have
neither
wife
nor
child
(
without
any
sexual
feeling
,
she
longed
to
cherish
that
loneliness
)
,
you
live
for
science
(
involuntarily
,
sections
of
potatoes
rose
before
her
eyes
)
;
praise
would
be
an
insult
to
you
;
generous
,
pure-hearted
,
heroic
man
!
But
simultaneously
,
she
remembered
how
he
had
brought
a
valet
all
the
way
up
here
;
objected
to
dogs
on
chairs
;
would
prose
for
hours
(
until
Mr.
Ramsay
slammed
out
of
the
room
)
about
salt
in
vegetables
and
the
iniquity
of
English
cooks
.
82
How
then
did
it
work
out
,
all
this
?
How
did
one
judge
people
,
think
of
them
?
How
did
one
add
up
this
and
that
and
conclude
that
it
was
liking
one
felt
or
disliking
?
And
to
those
words
,
what
meaning
attached
,
after
all
?
Standing
now
,
apparently
transfixed
,
by
the
pear
tree
,
impressions
poured
in
upon
her
of
those
two
men
,
and
to
follow
her
thought
was
like
following
a
voice
which
speaks
too
quickly
to
be
taken
down
by
one
's
pencil
,
and
the
voice
was
her
own
voice
saying
without
prompting
undeniable
,
everlasting
,
contradictory
things
,
so
that
even
the
fissures
and
humps
on
the
bark
of
the
pear
tree
were
irrevocably
fixed
there
for
eternity
.
You
have
greatness
,
she
continued
,
but
Mr.
Ramsay
has
none
of
it
.
He
is
petty
,
selfish
,
vain
,
egotistical
;
he
is
spoilt
;
he
is
a
tyrant
;
he
wears
Mrs.
Ramsay
to
death
;
but
he
has
what
you
(
she
addressed
Mr.
Bankes
)
have
not
;
a
fiery
unworldliness
;
he
knows
nothing
about
trifles
;
he
loves
dogs
and
his
children
.
He
has
eight
.
Mr.
Bankes
has
none
.
83
Did
he
not
come
down
in
two
coats
the
other
night
and
let
Mrs.
Ramsay
trim
his
hair
into
a
pudding
basin
?
All
of
this
danced
up
and
down
,
like
a
company
of
gnats
,
each
separate
but
all
marvellously
controlled
in
an
invisible
elastic
net
--
danced
up
and
down
in
Lily
's
mind
,
in
and
about
the
branches
of
the
pear
tree
,
where
still
hung
in
effigy
the
scrubbed
kitchen
table
,
symbol
of
her
profound
respect
for
Mr.
Ramsay
's
mind
,
until
her
thought
which
had
spun
quicker
and
quicker
exploded
of
its
own
intensity
;
she
felt
released
;
a
shot
went
off
close
at
hand
,
and
there
came
,
flying
from
its
fragments
,
frightened
,
effusive
,
tumultuous
,
a
flock
of
starlings
.
Отключить рекламу
84
"
Jasper
!
"
said
Mr.
Bankes
.
They
turned
the
way
the
starlings
flew
,
over
the
terrace
.
Following
the
scatter
of
swift-flying
birds
in
the
sky
they
stepped
through
the
gap
in
the
high
hedge
straight
into
Mr.
Ramsay
,
who
boomed
tragically
at
them
,
"
Some
one
had
blundered
!
"
85
His
eyes
,
glazed
with
emotion
,
defiant
with
tragic
intensity
,
met
theirs
for
a
second
,
and
trembled
on
the
verge
of
recognition
;
but
then
,
raising
his
hand
,
half-way
to
his
face
as
if
to
avert
,
to
brush
off
,
in
an
agony
of
peevish
shame
,
their
normal
gaze
,
as
if
he
begged
them
to
withhold
for
a
moment
what
he
knew
to
be
inevitable
,
as
if
he
impressed
upon
them
his
own
child-like
resentment
of
interruption
,
yet
even
in
the
moment
of
discovery
was
not
to
be
routed
utterly
,
but
was
determined
to
hold
fast
to
something
of
this
delicious
emotion
,
this
impure
rhapsody
of
which
he
was
ashamed
,
but
in
which
he
revelled
--
he
turned
abruptly
,
slammed
his
private
door
on
them
;
and
,
Lily
Briscoe
and
Mr.
Bankes
,
86
looking
uneasily
up
into
the
sky
,
observed
that
the
flock
of
starlings
which
Jasper
had
routed
with
his
gun
had
settled
on
the
tops
of
the
elm
trees
.
87
"
And
even
if
it
is
n't
fine
tomorrow
,
"
said
Mrs.
Ramsay
,
raising
her
eyes
to
glance
at
William
Bankes
and
Lily
Briscoe
as
they
passed
,
"
it
will
be
another
day
.
And
now
,
"
she
said
,
thinking
that
Lily
's
charm
was
her
Chinese
eyes
,
aslant
in
her
white
,
puckered
little
face
,
but
it
would
take
a
clever
man
to
see
it
,
"
and
now
stand
up
,
and
let
me
measure
your
leg
,
"
for
they
might
go
to
the
Lighthouse
after
all
,
and
she
must
see
if
the
stocking
did
not
need
to
be
an
inch
or
two
longer
in
the
leg
.
Отключить рекламу
88
Smiling
,
for
it
was
an
admirable
idea
,
that
had
flashed
upon
her
this
very
second
--
William
and
Lily
should
marry
--
she
took
the
heather-mixture
stocking
,
with
its
criss-cross
of
steel
needles
at
the
mouth
of
it
,
and
measured
it
against
James
's
leg
.
89
"
My
dear
,
stand
still
,
"
she
said
,
for
in
his
jealousy
,
not
liking
to
serve
as
measuring
block
for
the
Lighthouse
keeper
's
little
boy
,
James
fidgeted
purposely
;
and
if
he
did
that
,
how
could
she
see
,
was
it
too
long
,
was
it
too
short
?
she
asked
.
90
She
looked
up
--
what
demon
possessed
him
,
her
youngest
,
her
cherished
?
--
and
saw
the
room
,
saw
the
chairs
,
thought
them
fearfully
shabby
.