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- Вирджиния Вульф
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- Стр. 42/72
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But
she
was
withheld
by
something
so
strong
that
she
never
even
thought
of
asking
herself
what
it
was
.
Of
course
it
was
impossible
for
her
to
go
with
them
.
But
she
would
have
liked
to
go
,
had
it
not
been
for
the
other
thing
,
and
tickled
by
the
absurdity
of
her
thought
(
how
lucky
to
marry
a
man
with
a
wash-leather
bag
for
his
watch
)
she
went
with
a
smile
on
her
lips
into
the
other
room
,
where
her
husband
sat
reading
.
Of
course
,
she
said
to
herself
,
coming
into
the
room
,
she
had
to
come
here
to
get
something
she
wanted
.
First
she
wanted
to
sit
down
in
a
particular
chair
under
a
particular
lamp
.
But
she
wanted
something
more
,
though
she
did
not
know
,
could
not
think
what
it
was
that
she
wanted
.
She
looked
at
her
husband
(
taking
up
her
stocking
and
beginning
to
knit
)
,
and
saw
that
he
did
not
want
to
be
interrupted
--
that
was
clear
.
He
was
reading
something
that
moved
him
very
much
.
He
was
half
smiling
and
then
she
knew
he
was
controlling
his
emotion
.
He
was
tossing
the
pages
over
.
He
was
acting
it
--
perhaps
he
was
thinking
himself
the
person
in
the
book
.
She
wondered
what
book
it
was
.
Oh
,
it
was
one
of
old
Sir
Walter
's
she
saw
,
adjusting
the
shade
of
her
lamp
so
that
the
light
fell
on
her
knitting
.
For
Charles
Tansley
had
been
saying
(
she
looked
up
as
if
she
expected
to
hear
the
crash
of
books
on
the
floor
above
)
,
had
been
saying
that
people
do
n't
read
Scott
any
more
.
Then
her
husband
thought
,
"
That
's
what
they
'll
say
of
me
;
"
so
he
went
and
got
one
of
those
books
.
And
if
he
came
to
the
conclusion
"
That
's
true
"
what
Charles
Tansley
said
,
he
would
accept
it
about
Scott
.
(
She
could
see
that
he
was
weighing
,
considering
,
putting
this
with
that
as
he
read
.
)
But
not
about
himself
.
He
was
always
uneasy
about
himself
.
That
troubled
her
.
He
would
always
be
worrying
about
his
own
books
--
will
they
be
read
,
are
they
good
,
why
are
n't
they
better
,
what
do
people
think
of
me
?
Not
liking
to
think
of
him
so
,
and
wondering
if
they
had
guessed
at
dinner
why
he
suddenly
became
irritable
when
they
talked
about
fame
and
books
lasting
,
wondering
if
the
children
were
laughing
at
that
,
she
twitched
the
stockings
out
,
and
all
the
fine
gravings
came
drawn
with
steel
instruments
about
her
lips
and
forehead
,
and
she
grew
still
like
a
tree
which
has
been
tossing
and
quivering
and
now
,
when
the
breeze
falls
,
settles
,
leaf
by
leaf
,
into
quiet
.
It
did
n't
matter
,
any
of
it
,
she
thought
.
A
great
man
,
a
great
book
,
fame
--
who
could
tell
?
She
knew
nothing
about
it
.
But
it
was
his
way
with
him
,
his
truthfulness
--
for
instance
at
dinner
she
had
been
thinking
quite
instinctively
,
If
only
he
would
speak
!
She
had
complete
trust
in
him
.
And
dismissing
all
this
,
as
one
passes
in
diving
now
a
weed
,
now
a
straw
,
now
a
bubble
,
she
felt
again
,
sinking
deeper
,
as
she
had
felt
in
the
hall
when
the
others
were
talking
,
There
is
something
I
want
--
something
I
have
come
to
get
,
and
she
fell
deeper
and
deeper
without
knowing
quite
what
it
was
,
with
her
eyes
closed
.
And
she
waited
a
little
,
knitting
,
wondering
,
and
slowly
rose
those
words
they
had
said
at
dinner
,
"
the
China
rose
is
all
abloom
and
buzzing
with
the
honey
bee
,
"
began
washing
from
side
to
side
of
her
mind
rhythmically
,
and
as
they
washed
,
words
,
like
little
shaded
lights
,
one
red
,
one
blue
,
one
yellow
,
lit
up
in
the
dark
of
her
mind
,
and
seemed
leaving
their
perches
up
there
to
fly
across
and
across
,
or
to
cry
out
and
to
be
echoed
;
so
she
turned
and
felt
on
the
table
beside
her
for
a
book
.
And
all
the
lives
we
ever
lived
And
all
the
lives
to
be
,
Are
full
of
trees
and
changing
leaves
,
she
murmured
,
sticking
her
needles
into
the
stocking
.
And
she
opened
the
book
and
began
reading
here
and
there
at
random
,
and
as
she
did
so
,
she
felt
that
she
was
climbing
backwards
,
upwards
,
shoving
her
way
up
under
petals
that
curved
over
her
,
so
that
she
only
knew
this
is
white
,
or
this
is
red
.
She
did
not
know
at
first
what
the
words
meant
at
all
.
Steer
,
hither
steer
your
winged
pines
,
all
beaten
Mariners
