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201
Wills
not
as
I
'd
have
her
will
.
'
202
'
Well
,
what
does
she
want
then
?
'
said
the
Flounder
.
"
And
where
were
they
now
?
Mrs.
Ramsay
wondered
,
reading
and
thinking
,
quite
easily
,
both
at
the
same
time
;
for
the
story
of
the
Fisherman
and
his
Wife
was
like
the
bass
gently
accompanying
a
tune
,
which
now
and
then
ran
up
unexpectedly
into
the
melody
.
203
And
when
should
she
be
told
?
If
nothing
happened
,
she
would
have
to
speak
seriously
to
Minta
.
For
she
could
not
go
trapesing
about
all
over
the
country
,
even
if
Nancy
were
with
them
(
she
tried
again
,
unsuccessfully
,
to
visualize
their
backs
going
down
the
path
,
and
to
count
them
)
.
She
was
responsible
to
Minta
's
parents
--
the
Owl
and
the
Poker
.
Her
nicknames
for
them
shot
into
her
mind
as
she
read
.
The
Owl
and
the
Poker
--
yes
,
they
would
be
annoyed
if
they
heard
--
and
they
were
certain
to
hear
--
that
Minta
,
staying
with
the
Ramsays
,
had
been
seen
etcetera
,
etcetera
,
etcetera
.
"
He
wore
a
wig
in
the
House
of
Commons
and
she
ably
assisted
him
at
the
head
of
the
stairs
,
"
she
repeated
,
fishing
them
up
out
of
her
mind
by
a
phrase
which
,
coming
back
from
some
party
,
she
had
made
to
amuse
her
husband
.
Dear
,
dear
,
Mrs.
Ramsay
said
to
herself
,
how
did
they
produce
this
incongruous
daughter
?
this
tomboy
Minta
,
with
a
hole
in
her
stocking
?
How
did
she
exist
in
that
portentous
atmosphere
where
the
maid
was
always
removing
in
a
dust-pan
the
sand
that
the
parrot
had
scattered
,
and
conversation
was
almost
entirely
reduced
to
the
exploits
--
interesting
perhaps
,
but
limited
after
all
--
of
that
bird
?
Naturally
,
one
had
asked
her
to
lunch
,
tea
,
dinner
,
finally
to
stay
with
them
up
at
Finlay
,
which
had
resulted
in
some
friction
with
the
Owl
,
her
mother
,
and
more
calling
,
and
more
conversation
,
and
more
sand
,
and
really
at
the
end
of
it
,
she
had
told
enough
lies
about
parrots
to
last
her
a
lifetime
(
so
she
had
said
to
her
husband
that
night
,
coming
back
from
the
party
)
.
Отключить рекламу
204
However
,
Minta
came
...
Yes
,
she
came
,
Mrs.
Ramsay
thought
,
suspecting
some
thorn
in
the
tangle
of
this
thought
;
and
disengaging
it
found
it
to
be
this
:
a
woman
had
once
accused
her
of
"
robbing
her
of
her
daughter
's
affections
"
;
something
Mrs.
Doyle
had
said
made
her
remember
that
charge
again
.
Wishing
to
dominate
,
wishing
to
interfere
,
making
people
do
what
she
wished
--
that
was
the
charge
against
her
,
and
she
thought
it
most
unjust
.
How
could
she
help
being
"
like
that
"
to
look
at
?
No
one
could
accuse
her
of
taking
pains
to
impress
.
She
was
often
ashamed
of
her
own
shabbiness
.
Nor
was
she
domineering
,
nor
was
she
tyrannical
.
It
was
more
true
about
hospitals
and
drains
and
the
dairy
.
About
things
like
that
she
did
feel
passionately
,
and
would
,
if
she
had
the
chance
,
have
liked
to
take
people
by
the
scruff
of
their
necks
and
make
them
see
.
No
hospital
on
the
whole
island
.
It
was
a
disgrace
.
Milk
delivered
at
your
door
in
London
positively
brown
with
dirt
.
It
should
be
made
illegal
.
A
model
dairy
and
a
hospital
up
here
--
those
two
things
she
would
have
liked
to
do
,
herself
.
But
how
?
With
all
these
children
?
When
they
were
older
,
then
perhaps
she
would
have
time
;
when
they
were
all
at
school
.
205
Oh
,
but
she
never
wanted
James
to
grow
a
day
older
!
or
Cam
either
.
These
two
she
would
have
liked
to
keep
for
ever
just
as
they
were
,
demons
of
wickedness
,
angels
of
delight
,
never
to
see
them
grow
up
into
long-legged
monsters
.
Nothing
made
up
for
the
loss
.
206
When
she
read
just
now
to
James
,
"
and
there
were
numbers
of
soldiers
with
kettledrums
and
trumpets
,
"
and
his
eyes
darkened
,
she
thought
,
why
should
they
grow
up
and
lose
all
that
?
He
was
the
most
gifted
,
the
most
sensitive
of
her
children
.
But
all
,
she
thought
,
were
full
of
promise
.
Prue
,
a
perfect
angel
with
the
others
,
and
sometimes
now
,
at
night
especially
,
she
took
one
's
breath
away
with
her
beauty
.
Andrew
--
even
her
husband
admitted
that
his
gift
for
mathematics
was
extraordinary
.
And
Nancy
and
Roger
,
they
were
both
wild
creatures
now
,
scampering
about
over
the
country
all
day
long
.
As
for
Rose
,
her
mouth
was
too
big
,
but
she
had
a
wonderful
gift
with
her
hands
.
If
they
had
charades
,
Rose
made
the
dresses
;
made
everything
;
liked
best
arranging
tables
,
flowers
,
anything
.
She
did
not
like
it
that
Jasper
should
shoot
birds
;
but
it
was
only
a
stage
;
they
all
went
through
stages
.
Why
,
she
asked
,
pressing
her
chin
on
James
's
head
,
should
they
grow
up
so
fast
?
Why
should
they
go
to
school
?
She
would
have
liked
always
to
have
had
a
baby
.
She
was
happiest
carrying
one
in
her
arms
.
Then
people
might
say
she
was
tyrannical
,
domineering
,
masterful
,
if
they
chose
;
she
did
not
mind
.
And
,
touching
his
hair
with
her
lips
,
she
thought
,
he
will
never
be
so
happy
again
,
but
stopped
herself
,
remembering
how
it
angered
her
husband
that
she
should
say
that
.
Still
,
it
was
true
.
They
were
happier
now
than
they
would
ever
be
again
.
A
tenpenny
tea
set
made
Cam
happy
for
days
.
She
heard
them
stamping
and
crowing
on
the
floor
above
her
head
the
moment
they
awoke
.
207
They
came
bustling
along
the
passage
.
Then
the
door
sprang
open
and
in
they
came
,
fresh
as
roses
,
staring
,
wide
awake
,
as
if
this
coming
into
the
dining-room
after
breakfast
,
which
they
did
every
day
of
their
lives
,
was
a
positive
event
to
them
,
and
so
on
,
with
one
thing
after
another
,
all
day
long
,
until
she
went
up
to
say
good-night
to
them
,
and
found
them
netted
in
their
cots
like
birds
among
cherries
and
raspberries
,
still
making
up
stories
about
some
little
bit
of
rubbish
--
something
they
had
heard
,
something
they
had
picked
up
in
the
garden
.
They
all
had
their
little
treasures
...
And
so
she
went
down
and
said
to
her
husband
,
Why
must
they
grow
up
and
lose
it
all
?
Never
will
they
be
so
happy
again
.
And
he
was
angry
.
Why
take
such
a
gloomy
view
of
life
?
he
said
.
It
is
not
sensible
.
For
it
was
odd
;
and
she
believed
it
to
be
true
;
that
with
all
his
gloom
and
desperation
he
was
happier
,
more
hopeful
on
the
whole
,
than
she
was
.
Less
exposed
to
human
worries
--
perhaps
that
was
it
.
He
had
always
his
work
to
fall
back
on
.
Not
that
she
herself
was
"
pessimistic
,
"
as
he
accused
her
of
being
.
Only
she
thought
life
--
and
a
little
strip
of
time
presented
itself
to
her
eyes
--
her
fifty
years
.
There
it
was
before
her
--
life
.
Life
,
she
thought
--
but
she
did
not
finish
her
thought
.
She
took
a
look
at
life
,
for
she
had
a
clear
sense
of
it
there
,
something
real
,
something
private
,
which
she
shared
neither
with
her
children
nor
with
her
husband
.
Отключить рекламу
208
A
sort
of
transaction
went
on
between
them
,
in
which
she
was
on
one
side
,
and
life
was
on
another
,
and
she
was
always
trying
to
get
the
better
of
it
,
as
it
was
of
her
;
and
sometimes
they
parleyed
(
when
she
sat
alone
)
;
there
were
,
she
remembered
,
great
reconciliation
scenes
;
but
for
the
most
part
,
oddly
enough
,
she
must
admit
that
she
felt
this
thing
that
she
called
life
terrible
,
hostile
,
and
quick
to
pounce
on
you
if
you
gave
it
a
chance
.
There
were
eternal
problems
:
suffering
;
death
;
the
poor
.
There
was
always
a
woman
dying
of
cancer
even
here
.
And
yet
she
had
said
to
all
these
children
,
You
shall
go
through
it
all
.
To
eight
people
she
had
said
relentlessly
that
(
and
the
bill
for
the
greenhouse
would
be
fifty
pounds
)
.
For
that
reason
,
knowing
what
was
before
them
--
love
and
ambition
and
being
wretched
alone
in
dreary
places
--
she
had
often
the
feeling
,
Why
must
they
grow
up
and
lose
it
all
?
And
then
she
said
to
herself
,
brandishing
her
sword
at
life
,
Nonsense
.
They
will
be
perfectly
happy
.
And
here
she
was
,
she
reflected
,
feeling
life
rather
sinister
again
,
making
Minta
marry
Paul
Rayley
;
because
whatever
she
might
feel
about
her
own
transaction
,
she
had
had
experiences
which
need
not
happen
to
every
one
(
she
did
not
name
them
to
herself
)
;
she
was
driven
on
,
too
quickly
she
knew
,
almost
as
if
it
were
an
escape
for
her
too
,
to
say
that
people
must
marry
;
people
must
have
children
.
209
Was
she
wrong
in
this
,
she
asked
herself
,
reviewing
her
conduct
for
the
past
week
or
two
,
and
wondering
if
she
had
indeed
put
any
pressure
upon
Minta
,
who
was
only
twenty-four
,
to
make
up
her
mind
.
She
was
uneasy
.
Had
she
not
laughed
about
it
?
Was
she
not
forgetting
again
how
strongly
she
influenced
people
?
Marriage
needed
--
oh
,
all
sorts
of
qualities
(
the
bill
for
the
greenhouse
would
be
fifty
pounds
)
;
one
--
she
need
not
name
it
--
that
was
essential
;
the
thing
she
had
with
her
husband
.
Had
they
that
?
210
"
Then
he
put
on
his
trousers
and
ran
away
like
a
madman
,
"
she
read
.
"
But
outside
a
great
storm
was
raging
and
blowing
so
hard
that
he
could
scarcely
keep
his
feet
;
houses
and
trees
toppled
over
,
the
mountains
trembled
,
rocks
rolled
into
the
sea
,
the
sky
was
pitch
black
,
and
it
thundered
and
lightened
,
and
the
sea
came
in
with
black
waves
as
high
as
church
towers
and
mountains
,
and
all
with
white
foam
at
the
top
...
"