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Beth
shook
the
confusion
out
of
her
head
as
well
as
she
could
and
made
an
appointment
with
Roberta
for
a
haircut
at
two
.
She
would
ask
where
to
find
a
cleaning
woman
for
a
few
weeks
.
She
would
go
to
Morris
’
s
,
order
some
chess
books
,
and
have
lunch
at
Toby
’
s
.
But
her
usual
clerk
wasn
’
t
at
Morris
’
s
that
day
,
and
the
woman
who
had
replaced
him
knew
nothing
about
ordering
chess
books
.
Beth
managed
to
get
her
to
find
a
catalogue
and
ordered
three
on
the
Sicilian
Defense
.
She
needed
game
books
from
grandmaster
matches
and
Chess
Informants
.
But
she
didn
’
t
know
which
Yugoslav
press
published
Chess
Informant
,
and
neither
did
the
new
clerk
.
It
was
infuriating
.
She
needed
a
library
as
good
as
Benny
’
s
.
Better
.
Thinking
of
this
,
she
finally
realized
angrily
that
she
could
go
back
to
New
York
and
forget
all
this
confusion
and
continue
with
Benny
from
where
she
had
left
off
.
But
what
could
Benny
teach
her
now
?
What
could
any
American
teach
her
?
She
had
moved
past
them
all
.
She
was
on
her
own
.
She
would
have
to
bridge
the
gap
herself
that
separated
American
chess
from
Russian
.
At
Toby
’
s
the
headwaiter
knew
her
and
put
her
at
a
good
table
near
the
front
.
She
ordered
asperges
vinaigrette
for
an
appetizer
and
told
the
waiter
she
would
have
that
before
ordering
a
main
course
.
“
Would
you
care
for
a
cocktail
?
”
he
asked
pleasantly
.
She
looked
around
her
at
the
quiet
restaurant
,
at
the
people
eating
lunch
,
at
the
table
with
desserts
near
the
velvet
rope
at
the
entrance
to
the
dining
room
.
“
A
Gibson
,
”
she
said
.
“
On
the
rocks
.
”
It
came
almost
immediately
.
It
was
wonderful
to
look
at
.
The
tumbler
was
clear
and
clean
;
the
gin
inside
was
crystalline
;
the
white
onions
were
like
two
pearls
.
When
she
tasted
it
,
it
stung
her
upper
lip
,
then
stung
her
throat
with
a
sweet
tease
as
it
went
down
.
The
effect
on
her
tense
stomach
was
remarkable
;
everything
about
it
was
rewarding
.
She
finished
it
slowly
,
and
the
deep
fury
in
her
began
to
subside
.
She
ordered
another
.
Back
in
the
shadows
at
the
far
end
of
the
room
someone
was
playing
a
piano
.
Beth
looked
at
her
watch
.
It
was
a
quarter
to
twelve
.
It
was
good
to
be
alive
.
She
never
got
around
to
ordering
the
main
course
.
She
came
out
of
Toby
’
s
at
two
,
squinting
into
the
sunshine
,
and
jaywalked
across
Main
to
David
Manly
’
s
Wine
Shop
.
Using
two
of
her
traveler
’
s
checks
from
Ohio
she
bought
a
case
of
Paul
Masson
burgundy
,
four
bottles
of
Gordon
’
s
gin
and
a
bottle
of
Martini
&
Rossi
vermouth
and
had
Mr
.
Manly
call
her
a
taxi
.
Her
speech
was
clear
and
sharp
;
her
gait
was
steady
.
She
had
eaten
six
stalks
of
asparagus
and
drunk
four
Gibsons
.
She
had
flirted
with
alcohol
for
years
.
It
was
time
to
consummate
the
relationship
.
The
phone
was
ringing
when
she
came
in
,
but
she
did
not
answer
it
.
The
driver
helped
her
with
the
case
of
wine
,
and
she
tipped
him
a
dollar
.
When
he
had
left
,
she
got
the
bottles
out
one
at
a
time
and
put
them
neatly
into
the
cabinet
over
the
toaster
,
in
front
of
Mrs
.
Wheatley
’
s
old
cans
of
spaghetti
and
chili
.
Then
she
opened
a
bottle
of
gin
and
twisted
the
cap
off
the
vermouth
.
She
had
never
made
a
cocktail
before
.
She
poured
gin
into
the
tumbler
and
added
a
little
vermouth
,
stirring
it
with
one
of
Mrs
.
Wheatley
’
s
spoons
.
She
carried
the
drink
carefully
into
the
living
room
,
sat
down
and
took
a
long
swallow
.
*
*
*
The
mornings
were
horrible
,
but
she
managed
them
.
She
went
to
Kroger
’
s
on
the
third
day
and
bought
three
dozen
eggs
and
a
supply
of
TV
dinners
.
After
that
she
always
had
two
eggs
before
her
first
glass
of
wine
.
By
noon
she
had
usually
passed
out
.
She
would
awake
on
the
sofa
or
in
a
chair
with
her
limbs
stiff
and
the
back
of
her
neck
damp
with
hot
sweat
.
Sometimes
,
her
head
reeling
,
she
would
feel
in
the
depth
of
her
stomach
an
anger
as
intense
as
the
pain
of
a
burst
abscess
in
the
jaw
—
a
toothache
so
potent
that
nothing
but
drink
could
alleviate
it
.
Sometimes
the
drink
had
to
be
forced
against
a
rejection
of
it
by
her
body
,
but
she
did
it
.
She
would
get
it
down
and
wait
and
the
feelings
would
subside
a
bit
.
It
was
like
turning
down
the
volume
.
