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She
could
not
but
laugh
.
"
You
pig
.
You
filthy
pig
.
"
"
I
say
,
about
the
understudy
,
is
there
any
chance
for
Joan
?
"
"
Tell
her
to
come
and
see
me
one
day
.
"
But
when
Roger
left
her
she
sighed
.
She
was
depressed
.
She
felt
very
lonely
.
Her
life
had
always
been
so
full
and
so
exciting
that
she
had
never
had
the
time
to
busy
herself
much
with
Roger
She
got
in
a
state
,
of
course
,
when
he
had
whooping
-
cough
or
measles
,
but
he
was
for
the
most
part
in
robust
health
,
and
then
he
occupied
a
pleasant
place
in
the
background
of
her
consciousness
.
But
she
had
always
felt
that
he
was
there
to
be
attended
to
when
she
was
inclined
and
she
had
often
thought
it
would
be
nice
when
he
was
old
enough
really
to
share
her
interests
.
It
came
to
her
as
a
shock
now
to
realize
that
,
without
ever
having
really
possessed
him
,
she
had
lost
him
.
Her
lips
tightened
when
she
thought
of
the
girl
who
had
taken
him
from
her
.
"
An
understudy
.
My
foot
.
"
Her
pain
absorbed
her
so
that
she
could
not
feel
the
grief
she
might
have
felt
from
her
discovery
of
Tom
’
s
perfidy
.
She
had
always
known
in
her
bones
that
he
was
unfaithful
to
her
.
At
his
age
,
with
his
wanton
temperament
,
with
herself
tied
down
by
her
performances
at
the
theatre
,
by
all
manner
of
engagements
which
her
position
forced
upon
her
,
it
was
plain
that
he
had
ample
opportunity
to
gratify
his
inclinations
.
She
had
shut
her
eyes
.
All
she
asked
was
that
she
should
not
know
.
This
was
the
first
time
that
an
actual
fact
had
been
thrust
upon
her
notice
.
"
I
must
just
put
up
with
it
,
"
she
sighed
.
Thoughts
wandered
through
her
mind
.
"
It
’
s
like
lying
and
not
knowing
you
’
re
lying
,
that
’
s
what
’
s
fatal
;
I
suppose
it
’
s
better
to
be
a
fool
and
know
it
than
a
fool
and
not
know
it
.
"
Tom
went
to
Eastbourne
with
his
family
for
Christmas
.
Julia
had
two
performances
on
Boxing
Day
,
so
the
Gosselyns
stayed
in
town
;
they
went
to
a
large
party
at
the
Savoy
that
Dolly
de
Vries
gave
to
see
the
New
Year
in
;
and
a
few
days
later
Roger
set
off
for
Vienna
.
While
he
was
in
London
Julia
saw
little
of
Tom
.
She
did
not
ask
Roger
what
they
did
when
they
tore
about
the
town
together
,
she
did
not
want
to
know
,
she
steeled
herself
not
to
think
and
distracted
her
mind
by
going
to
as
many
parties
as
she
could
.
And
there
was
always
her
acting
;
when
once
she
got
into
the
theatre
her
anguish
,
her
humiliation
,
her
jealousy
were
allayed
.
It
gave
her
a
sense
of
triumphant
power
to
find
,
as
it
were
in
her
pot
of
grease
paint
,
another
personality
that
could
be
touched
by
no
human
griefs
.
With
that
refuge
always
at
hand
she
could
support
anything
.
