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But
one
or
two
of
Dolly
’
s
remarks
had
been
somewhat
of
a
shock
to
Julia
.
They
rankled
.
It
was
disconcerting
that
gossip
had
so
nearly
reached
the
truth
.
But
did
it
matter
?
Plenty
of
women
had
lovers
and
who
bothered
?
And
an
actress
.
No
one
expected
an
actress
to
be
a
pattern
of
propriety
.
"
It
’
s
my
damned
virtue
.
That
’
s
at
the
bottom
of
the
trouble
.
"
She
had
acquired
the
reputation
of
a
perfectly
virtuous
woman
,
whom
the
tongue
of
scandal
could
not
touch
,
and
now
it
looked
as
though
her
reputation
was
a
prison
that
she
had
built
round
herself
.
But
there
was
worse
.
What
had
Tom
meant
by
saying
that
she
ate
out
of
his
hand
?
That
deeply
affronted
her
.
Silly
little
fool
.
How
dare
he
?
She
didn
’
t
know
what
to
do
about
it
either
.
She
would
have
liked
to
tax
him
with
it
.
What
was
the
good
?
He
would
deny
it
.
The
only
thing
was
to
say
nothing
;
it
had
all
gone
too
far
now
,
she
must
accept
everything
.
It
was
no
good
not
facing
the
truth
,
he
didn
’
t
love
her
,
he
was
her
lover
because
it
gratified
his
self
-
esteem
,
because
it
brought
him
various
things
he
cared
for
and
because
in
his
own
eyes
at
least
it
gave
him
a
sort
of
position
.
"
If
I
had
any
sense
I
’
d
chuck
him
.
"
She
gave
an
angry
laugh
.
"
It
’
s
easy
to
say
that
.
I
love
him
.
"
The
strange
thing
was
that
when
she
looked
into
her
heart
it
was
not
Julia
Lambert
the
woman
who
resented
the
affront
,
she
didn
’
t
care
for
herself
,
it
was
the
affront
to
Julia
Lambert
the
actress
that
stung
her
.
She
had
often
felt
that
her
talent
,
genius
the
critics
called
it
,
but
that
was
a
very
grand
word
,
her
gift
,
if
you
like
,
was
not
really
herself
,
not
even
part
of
her
,
but
something
outside
that
used
her
,
Julia
Lambert
the
woman
,
in
order
to
express
itself
.
It
was
a
strange
,
immaterial
personality
that
seemed
to
descend
upon
her
and
it
did
things
through
her
that
she
did
not
know
she
was
capable
of
doing
.
She
was
an
ordinary
,
prettyish
,
ageing
woman
.
Her
gift
had
neither
age
nor
form
.
It
was
a
spirit
that
played
on
her
body
as
the
violinist
plays
on
his
violin
.
It
was
the
slight
to
that
that
galled
her
.
She
tried
to
sleep
.
She
was
so
accustomed
to
sleeping
in
the
afternoon
that
she
could
always
drop
off
the
moment
she
composed
herself
,
but
on
this
occasion
she
turned
restlessly
from
side
to
side
and
sleep
would
not
come
.
At
last
she
looked
at
the
clock
.
Tom
often
got
back
from
his
office
soon
after
five
.
She
yearned
for
him
;
in
his
arms
was
peace
,
when
she
was
with
him
nothing
else
mattered
.
She
dialled
his
number
.
"
Hulloa
?
Yes
Who
is
it
?
"
She
held
the
receiver
to
her
ear
,
panic
-
stricken
.
It
was
Roger
’
s
voice
.
She
hung
up
.
