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He
did
not
answer
for
a
while
.
There
was
a
pencil
on
the
table
,
and
unconsciously
he
drew
a
head
on
the
blotting
-
paper
.
"
Please
say
so
,
if
you
hate
my
asking
you
questions
,
"
I
said
.
"
It
eases
me
to
talk
.
Oh
,
if
you
knew
the
frightful
anguish
in
my
heart
.
"
He
threw
the
pencil
down
.
"
Yes
,
I
’
ve
known
it
for
a
fortnight
.
I
knew
it
before
she
did
.
"
Отключить рекламу
"
Why
on
earth
didn
’
t
you
send
Strickland
packing
?
"
"
I
couldn
’
t
believe
it
.
It
seemed
so
improbable
.
She
couldn
’
t
bear
the
sight
of
him
.
It
was
more
than
improbable
;
it
was
incredible
.
I
thought
it
was
merely
jealousy
.
You
see
,
I
’
ve
always
been
jealous
,
but
I
trained
myself
never
to
show
it
;
I
was
jealous
of
every
man
she
knew
;
I
was
jealous
of
you
.
I
knew
she
didn
’
t
love
me
as
I
loved
her
.
That
was
only
natural
,
wasn
’
t
it
?
But
she
allowed
me
to
love
her
,
and
that
was
enough
to
make
me
happy
.
I
forced
myself
to
go
out
for
hours
together
in
order
to
leave
them
by
themselves
;
I
wanted
to
punish
myself
for
suspicions
which
were
unworthy
of
me
;
and
when
I
came
back
I
found
they
didn
’
t
want
me
—
not
Strickland
,
he
didn
’
t
care
if
I
was
there
or
not
,
but
Blanche
.
She
shuddered
when
I
went
to
kiss
her
.
When
at
last
I
was
certain
I
didn
’
t
know
what
to
do
;
I
knew
they
’
d
only
laugh
at
me
if
I
made
a
scene
.
I
thought
if
I
held
my
tongue
and
pretended
not
to
see
,
everything
would
come
right
.
I
made
up
my
mind
to
get
him
away
quietly
,
without
quarrelling
.
Oh
,
if
you
only
knew
what
I
’
ve
suffered
!
"
Then
he
told
me
again
of
his
asking
Strickland
to
go
.
He
chose
his
moment
carefully
,
and
tried
to
make
his
request
sound
casual
;
but
he
could
not
master
the
trembling
of
his
voice
;
and
he
felt
himself
that
into
words
that
he
wished
to
seem
jovial
and
friendly
there
crept
the
bitterness
of
his
jealousy
.
He
had
not
expected
Strickland
to
take
him
up
on
the
spot
and
make
his
preparations
to
go
there
and
then
;
above
all
,
he
had
not
expected
his
wife
’
s
decision
to
go
with
him
.
I
saw
that
now
he
wished
with
all
his
heart
that
he
had
held
his
tongue
.
He
preferred
the
anguish
of
jealousy
to
the
anguish
of
separation
.
Отключить рекламу
"
I
wanted
to
kill
him
,
and
I
only
made
a
fool
of
myself
.
"
He
was
silent
for
a
long
time
,
and
then
he
said
what
I
knew
was
in
his
mind
.
"
If
I
’
d
only
waited
,
perhaps
it
would
have
gone
all
right
.
I
shouldn
’
t
have
been
so
impatient
.
Oh
,
poor
child
,
what
have
I
driven
her
to
?
"