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“
I
do
,
rather
;
and
I
would
that
you
had
not
,
with
all
my
heart
!
”
“
Yes
—
you
may
well
say
it
,
”
he
returned
grimly
,
as
they
moved
onward
together
,
she
with
unwilling
tread
.
“
But
don
’
t
mistake
me
;
I
beg
this
because
you
may
have
been
led
to
do
so
in
noticing
—
if
you
did
notice
it
—
how
your
sudden
appearance
unnerved
me
down
there
.
It
was
but
a
momentary
faltering
;
and
considering
what
you
have
been
to
me
,
it
was
natural
enough
.
But
will
helped
me
through
it
—
though
perhaps
you
think
me
a
humbug
for
saying
it
—
and
immediately
afterwards
I
felt
that
of
all
persons
in
the
world
whom
it
was
my
duty
and
desire
to
save
from
the
wrath
to
come
—
sneer
if
you
like
—
the
woman
whom
I
had
so
grievously
wronged
was
that
person
.
I
have
come
with
that
sole
purpose
in
view
—
nothing
more
.
”
There
was
the
smallest
vein
of
scorn
in
her
words
of
rejoinder
:
“
Have
you
saved
yourself
?
Charity
begins
at
home
,
they
say
.
”
“
I
have
done
nothing
!
”
said
he
indifferently
.
“
Heaven
,
as
I
have
been
telling
my
hearers
,
has
done
all
.
No
amount
of
contempt
that
you
can
pour
upon
me
,
Tess
,
will
equal
what
I
have
poured
upon
myself
—
the
old
Adam
of
my
former
years
!
Well
,
it
is
a
strange
story
;
believe
it
or
not
;
but
I
can
tell
you
the
means
by
which
my
conversion
was
brought
about
,
and
I
hope
you
will
be
interested
enough
at
least
to
listen
.
Have
you
ever
heard
the
name
of
the
parson
of
Emminster
—
you
must
have
done
do
?
—
old
Mr
Clare
;
one
of
the
most
earnest
of
his
school
;
one
of
the
few
intense
men
left
in
the
Church
;
not
so
intense
as
the
extreme
wind
of
Christian
believers
with
which
I
have
thrown
in
my
lot
,
but
quite
an
exception
among
the
Established
clergy
,
the
younger
of
whom
are
gradually
attenuating
the
true
doctrines
by
their
sophistries
,
till
they
are
but
the
shadow
of
what
they
were
.
I
only
differ
from
him
on
the
question
of
Church
and
State
—
the
interpretation
of
the
text
,
‘
Come
out
from
among
them
and
be
ye
separate
,
saith
the
Lord
’
—
that
’
s
all
.
He
is
one
who
,
I
firmly
believe
,
has
been
the
humble
means
of
saving
more
souls
in
this
country
than
any
other
man
you
can
name
.
You
have
heard
of
him
?
”
“
I
have
,
”
she
said
.
“
He
came
to
Trantridge
two
or
three
years
ago
to
preach
on
behalf
of
some
missionary
society
;
and
I
,
wretched
fellow
that
I
was
,
insulted
him
when
,
in
his
disinterestedness
,
he
tried
to
reason
with
me
and
show
me
the
way
.
He
did
not
resent
my
conduct
,
he
simply
said
that
some
day
I
should
receive
the
first
-
fruits
of
the
Spirit
—
that
those
who
came
to
scoff
sometimes
remained
to
pray
.
There
was
a
strange
magic
in
his
words
.
They
sank
into
my
mind
.
But
the
loss
of
my
mother
hit
me
most
;
and
by
degrees
I
was
brought
to
see
daylight
.
Since
then
my
one
desire
has
been
to
hand
on
the
true
view
to
others
,
and
that
is
what
I
was
trying
to
do
today
;
though
it
is
only
lately
that
I
have
preached
hereabout
.
The
first
months
of
my
ministry
have
been
spent
in
the
North
of
England
among
strangers
,
where
I
preferred
to
make
my
earliest
clumsy
attempts
,
so
as
to
acquire
courage
before
undergoing
that
severest
of
all
tests
of
one
’
s
sincerity
,
addressing
those
who
have
known
one
,
and
have
been
one
’
s
companions
in
the
days
of
darkness
.
If
you
could
only
know
,
Tess
,
the
pleasure
of
having
a
good
slap
at
yourself
,
I
am
sure
—
”
“
Don
’
t
go
on
with
it
!
”
she
cried
passionately
,
as
she
turned
away
from
him
to
a
stile
by
the
wayside
,
on
which
she
bent
herself
.
“
I
can
’
t
believe
in
such
sudden
things
!
I
feel
indignant
with
you
for
talking
to
me
like
this
,
when
you
know
—
when
you
know
what
harm
you
’
ve
done
me
!
You
,
and
those
like
you
,
take
your
fill
of
pleasure
on
earth
by
making
the
life
of
such
as
me
bitter
and
black
with
sorrow
;
and
then
it
is
a
fine
thing
,
when
you
have
had
enough
of
that
,
to
think
of
securing
your
pleasure
in
heaven
by
becoming
converted
!
Out
upon
such
—
I
don
’
t
believe
in
you
—
I
hate
it
!
”
“
Tess
,
”
he
insisted
;
“
don
’
t
speak
so
!
It
came
to
me
like
a
jolly
new
idea
!
And
you
don
’
t
believe
me
?
What
don
’
t
you
believe
?
”
