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"
Now
look
,
Captain
,
"
he
said
.
"
Lordship
wants
an
explanation
.
I
don
’
t
want
to
have
to
tell
him
the
captain
of
the
Night
Watch
hasn
’
t
the
faintest
idea
what
goes
on
among
the
men
under
,
if
I
may
use
the
term
loosely
,
his
command
.
That
sort
of
thing
only
leads
to
trouble
,
questions
asked
,
that
sort
of
thing
.
We
don
’
t
want
that
,
do
we
.
Do
we
?
"
"
No
,
sir
,
"
Vimes
muttered
.
A
vague
recollection
of
someone
earnestly
talking
to
him
in
the
Bunch
of
Grapes
was
bobbing
guiltily
at
the
back
of
his
mind
.
Surely
that
hadn
’
t
been
a
dwarf
?
Not
unless
the
qualification
had
been
radically
altered
,
at
any
rate
.
"
Of
course
we
don
’
t
,
"
said
Wonse
.
"
For
old
times
’
sake
.
And
so
on
.
So
I
’
ll
think
of
something
to
tell
him
and
you
,
Captain
,
will
make
a
point
of
finding
out
what
’
s
going
on
and
putting
a
stop
to
it
.
Give
this
dwarf
a
short
lesson
in
what
it
means
to
be
a
guard
,
all
right
?
"
"
Haha
,
"
said
Vimes
dutifully
.
"
I
’
m
sorry
?
"
said
Wonse
.
"
Oh
.
Thought
you
made
an
ethnic
joke
,
there
.
Sir
.
"
"
Look
,
Vimes
,
I
’
m
being
very
understanding
.
In
the
circumstances
.
Now
,
I
want
you
to
get
out
there
and
sort
this
out
.
Do
you
understand
?
"
Vimes
saluted
.
The
black
depression
that
always
lurked
ready
to
take
advantage
of
his
sobriety
moved
in
on
his
tongue
.
"
Right
you
are
,
Mr
Secretary
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
’
ll
see
to
it
that
he
learns
that
arresting
thieves
is
against
the
law
.
"
He
wished
he
hadn
’
t
said
that
.
If
he
didn
’
t
say
things
like
that
he
’
d
have
been
better
off
now
.
Captain
of
the
Palace
Guard
,
a
big
man
.
Giving
him
the
Watch
had
been
the
Patrician
’
s
little
joke
.
But
Wonse
was
already
reading
a
new
document
on
his
desk
.
If
he
noticed
the
sarcasm
,
he
didn
’
t
show
it
.
