Американская трагедия/American tragedy (Теодор Драйзер). Страница 317 из 598

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And

Roberta

,

suddenly

noticing

the

strangeness

of

it

all

--

the

something

of

eerie

unreason

or

physical

and

mental

indetermination

so

strangely

and

painfully

contrasting

with

this

scene

,

exclaiming

:

"

Why

,

Clyde

!

Clyde

!

What

is

it

?

Whatever

is

the

matter

with

you

anyhow

?

You

look

so

--

so

strange

--

so

--

so

--

Why

,

I

never

saw

you

look

like

this

before

.

What

is

it

?

"

And

suddenly

rising

,

or

rather

leaning

forward

,

and

by

crawling

along

the

even

keel

,

attempting

to

approach

him

,

since

he

looked

as

though

he

was

about

to

fall

forward

into

the

boat

--

or

to

one

side

and

out

into

the

water

.

And

Clyde

,

as

instantly

sensing

the

profoundness

of

his

own

failure

,

his

own

cowardice

or

inadequateness

for

such

an

occasion

,

as

instantly

yielding

to

a

tide

of

submerged

hate

,

not

only

for

himself

,

but

Roberta

--

her

power

--

or

that

of

life

to

restrain

him

in

this

way

.

And

yet

fearing

to

act

in

any

way

--

being

unwilling

to

--

being

willing

only

to

say

that

never

,

never

would

he

marry

her

--

that

never

,

even

should

she

expose

him

,

would

he

leave

here

with

her

to

marry

her

--

that

he

was

in

love

with

Sondra

and

would

cling

only

to

her

--

and

yet

not

being

able

to

say

that

even

.

But

angry

and

confused

and

glowering

.

And

then

,

as

she

drew

near

him

,

seeking

to

take

his

hand

in

hers

and

the

camera

from

him

in

order

to

put

it

in

the

boat

,

he

flinging

out

at

her

,

but

not

even

then

with

any

intention

to

do

other

than

free

himself

of

her

--

her

touch

--

her

pleading

--

consoling

sympathy

--

her

presence

forever

--

God

!

Yet

(

the

camera

still

unconsciously

held

tight

)

pushing

at

her

with

so

much

vehemence

as

not

only

to

strike

her

lips

and

nose

and

chin

with

it

,

but

to

throw

her

back

sidewise

toward

the

left

wale

which

caused

the

boat

to

careen

to

the

very

water

's

edge

.

And

then

he

,

stirred

by

her

sharp

scream

,

(

as

much

due

to

the

lurch

of

the

boat

,

as

the

cut

on

her

nose

and

lip

)

,

rising

and

reaching

half

to

assist

or

recapture

her

and

half

to

apologize

for

the

unintended

blow

--

yet

in

so

doing

completely

capsizing

the

boat

--

himself

and

Roberta

being

as

instantly

thrown

into

the

water

.

And

the

left

wale

of

the

boat

as

it

turned

,

striking

Roberta

on

the

head

as

she

sank

and

then

rose

for

the

first

time

,

her

frantic

,

contorted

face

turned

to

Clyde

,

who

by

now

had

righted

himself

.

For

she

was

stunned

,

horror-struck

,

unintelligible

with

pain

and

fear

--

her

lifelong

fear

of

water

and

drowning

and

the

blow

he

had

so

accidentally

and

all

but

unconsciously

administered

.

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"

Help

!

Help

!

"

Oh

,

my

God

,

I

'm

drowning

,

I

'm

drowning

.

Help

!

Oh

,

my

God

!

"

Clyde

,

Clyde

!

"

Отключить рекламу

And

then

the

voice

at

his

ear

!

"

But

this

--

this

--

is

not

this

that

which

you

have

been

thinking

and

wishing

for

this

while

--

you

in

your

great

need

?

And

behold

!

For

despite

your

fear

,

your

cowardice

,

this

--

this

--

has

been

done

for

you

.

An

accident

--

an

accident

--

an

unintentional

blow

on

your

part

is

now

saving

you

the

labor

of

what

you

sought

,

and

yet

did

not

have

the

courage

to

do

!

But

will

you

now

,

and

when

you

need

not

,

since

it

is

an

accident

,

by

going

to

her

rescue

,

once

more

plunge

yourself

in

the

horror

of

that

defeat

and

failure

which

has

so

tortured

you

and

from

which

this

now

releases

you

?

You

might

save

her

.

But

again

you

might

not

!

For

see

how

she

strikes

about

.

She

is

stunned

.

She

herself

is

unable

to

save

herself

and

by

her

erratic

terror

,

if

you

draw

near

her

now

,

may

bring

about

your

own

death

also

.

But

you

desire

to

live

!

And

her

living

will

make

your

life

not

worth

while

from

now

on

.

Rest

but

a

moment

--

a

fraction

of

a

minute

!

Wait

--

wait

--

ignore

the

pity

of

that

appeal

.

And

then

--

then

--

But

there

!

Behold

.

It

is

over

.

She

is

sinking

now

.

You

will

never

,

never

see

her

alive

any

more

--

ever

.

And

there

is

your

own

hat

upon

the

water

--

as

you

wished

.

And

upon

the

boat

,

clinging

to

that

rowlock

a

veil

belonging

to

her

.

Leave

it

.

Will

it

not

show

that

this

was

an

accident

?

"

And

apart

from

that

,

nothing

--

a

few

ripples

--

the

peace

and

solemnity

of

this

wondrous

scene

.

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