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- Теодор Драйзер
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- Американская трагедия
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- Стр. 194/598
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The
wonder
and
,
delight
of
a
new
and
more
intimate
form
of
contact
,
of
protest
gainsaid
,
of
scruples
overcome
!
Days
,
when
both
,
having
struggled
in
vain
against
the
greater
intimacy
which
each
knew
that
the
other
was
desirous
of
yielding
to
,
and
eventually
so
yielding
,
looked
forward
to
the
approaching
night
with
an
eagerness
which
was
as
a
fever
embodying
a
fear
.
For
with
what
qualms
--
what
protests
on
the
part
of
Roberta
;
what
determination
,
yet
not
without
a
sense
of
evil
--
seduction
--
betrayal
,
on
the
part
of
Clyde
.
Yet
the
thing
once
done
,
a
wild
convulsive
pleasure
motivating
both
.
Yet
,
not
without
,
before
all
this
,
an
exaction
on
the
part
of
Roberta
to
the
effect
that
never
--
come
what
might
(
the
natural
consequences
of
so
wild
an
intimacy
strong
in
her
thoughts
)
would
he
desert
her
,
since
without
his
aid
she
would
be
helpless
.
Yet
,
with
no
direct
statement
as
to
marriage
.
And
he
,
so
completely
overcome
and
swayed
by
his
desire
,
thoughtlessly
protesting
that
he
never
would
--
never
.
She
might
depend
on
that
,
at
least
,
although
even
then
there
was
no
thought
in
his
mind
of
marriage
.
He
would
not
do
that
.
Yet
nights
and
nights
--
all
scruples
for
the
time
being
abandoned
,
and
however
much
by
day
Roberta
might
brood
and
condemn
herself
--
when
each
yielded
to
the
other
completely
.
And
dreamed
thereafter
,
recklessly
and
wildly
,
of
the
joy
of
it
--
wishing
from
day
to
day
for
the
time
being
that
the
long
day
might
end
--
that
the
concealing
,
rewarding
feverish
night
were
at
hand
.
And
Clyde
feeling
,
and
not
unlike
Roberta
,
who
was
firmly
and
even
painfully
convinced
of
it
,
that
this
was
sin
--
deadly
,
mortal
--
since
both
his
mother
and
father
had
so
often
emphasized
that
--
the
seducer
--
adulterer
--
who
preys
outside
the
sacred
precincts
of
marriage
.
And
Roberta
,
peering
nervously
into
the
blank
future
,
wondering
what
--
how
,
in
any
case
,
by
any
chance
,
Clyde
should
change
,
or
fail
her
.
Yet
the
night
returning
,
her
mood
once
more
veering
,
and
she
as
well
as
he
hurrying
to
meet
somewhere
--
only
later
,
in
the
silence
of
the
middle
night
,
to
slip
into
this
unlighted
room
which
was
proving
so
much
more
of
a
Paradise
than
either
might
ever
know
again
--
so
wild
and
unrecapturable
is
the
fever
of
youth
.
And
--
at
times
--
and
despite
all
his
other
doubts
and
fears
,
Clyde
,
because
of
this
sudden
abandonment
by
Roberta
of
herself
to
his
desires
,
feeling
for
the
first
time
,
really
,
in
all
his
feverish
years
,
that
at
last
he
was
a
man
of
the
world
--
one
who
was
truly
beginning
to
know
women
.
And
so
taking
to
himself
an
air
or
manner
that
said
as
plainly
as
might
have
any
words
--
"
Behold
I
am
no
longer
the
inexperienced
,
neglected
simpleton
of
but
a
few
weeks
ago
,
but
an
individual
of
import
now
--
some
one
who
knows
something
about
life
.
What
have
any
of
these
strutting
young
men
,
and
gay
,
coaxing
,
flirting
girls
all
about
me
,
that
I
have
not
?
And
if
I
chose
--
were
less
loyal
than
I
am
--
what
might
I
not
do
?
"
And
this
was
proving
to
him
that
the
notion
which
Hortense
Briggs
,
to
say
nothing
of
the
more
recent
fiasco
in
connection
with
Rita
had
tended
to
build
up
in
his
mind
,
i.e.
--
that
he
was
either
unsuccessful
or
ill-fated
where
girls
were
concerned
was
false
.
He
was
after
all
and
despite
various
failures
and
inhibitions
a
youth
of
the
Don
Juan
or
Lothario
stripe
.
And
if
now
Roberta
was
obviously
willing
to
sacrifice
herself
for
him
in
this
fashion
,
must
there
not
be
others
?
And
this
,
in
spite
of
the
present
indifference
of
the
Griffiths
,
caused
him
to
walk
with
even
more
of
an
air
than
had
hitherto
characterized
him
.
Even
though
neither
they
nor
any
of
those
connected
with
them
recognized
him
,
still
he
looked
at
himself
in
his
mirror
from
time
to
time
with
an
assurance
and
admiration
which
before
this
he
had
never
possessed
.
For
now
Roberta
,
feeling
that
her
future
was
really
dependent
on
his
will
and
whim
,
had
set
herself
to
flatter
him
almost
constantly
,
to
be
as
obliging
and
convenient
to
him
as
possible
.
Indeed
,
according
to
her
notion
of
the
proper
order
of
life
,
she
was
now
his
and
his
only
,
as
much
as
any
wife
is
ever
to
a
husband
,
to
do
with
as
he
wished
.
And
for
a
time
therefore
,
Clyde
forgot
his
rather
neglected
state
here
and
was
content
to
devote
himself
to
her
without
thinking
much
of
the
future
.
The
one
thing
that
did
trouble
him
at
times
was
the
thought
that
possibly
,
in
connection
with
the
original
fear
she
had
expressed
to
him
,
something
might
go
wrong
,
which
,
considering
her
exclusive
devotion
to
him
,
might
prove
embarrassing
.
At
the
same
time
he
did
not
trouble
to
speculate
too
deeply
as
to
that
.
He
had
Roberta
now
.
These
relations
,
in
so
far
as
either
of
them
could
see
,
or
guess
,
were
a
dark
secret
.
The
pleasures
of
this
left
-
handed
honeymoon
were
at
full
tide
.
And
the
remaining
brisk
and
often
sunshiny
and
warm
November
and
first
December
days
passed
--
as
in
a
dream
,
really
--
an
ecstatic
paradise
of
sorts
in
the
very
center
of
a
humdrum
conventional
and
petty
and
underpaid
work-a-day
world
.
In
the
meantime
the
Griffiths
had
been
away
from
the
city
since
the
middle
of
June
and
ever
since
their
departure
Clyde
had
been
meditating
upon
them
and
all
they
represented
in
his
life
and
that
of
the
city
.
Their
great
house
closed
and
silent
,
except
for
gardeners
and
an
occasional
chauffeur
or
servant
visible
as
he
walked
from
time
to
time
past
the
place
,
was
the
same
as
a
shrine
to
him
,
nearly
--
the
symbol
of
that
height
to
which
by
some
turn
of
fate
he
might
still
hope
to
attain
.
For
he
had
never
quite
been
able
to
expel
from
his
mind
the
thought
that
his
future
must
in
some
way
be
identified
with
the
grandeur
that
was
here
laid
out
before
him
.
Yet
so
far
as
the
movements
of
the
Griffiths
family
and
their
social
peers
outside
Lycurgus
were
concerned
,
he
knew
little
other
than
that
which
from
time
to
time
he
had
read
in
the
society
columns
of
the
two
local
papers
which
almost
obsequiously
pictured
the
comings
and
goings
of
all
those
who
were
connected
with
the
more
important
families
of
the
city
.
At
times
,
after
reading
these
accounts
he
had
pictured
to
himself
,
even
when
he
was
off
somewhere
with
Roberta
at
some
unheralded
resort
,
Gilbert
Griffiths
racing
in
his
big
car
,
Bella
,
Bertine
and
Sandra
dancing
,
canoeing
in
the
moonlight
,
playing
tennis
,
riding
at
some
of
the
smart
resorts
where
they
were
reported
to
be
.
The
thing
had
had
a
bite
and
ache
for
him
that
was
almost
unendurable
and
had
lit
up
for
him
at
times
and
with
overwhelming
clarity
this
connection
of
his
with
Roberta
.
For
after
all
,
who
was
she
?
A
factory
girl
!
The
daughter
of
parents
who
lived
and
worked
on
a
farm
and
one
who
was
compelled
to
work
for
her
own
living
.
Whereas
he
--
he
--
if
fortune
would
but
favor
him
a
little
--
!
Was
this
to
be
the
end
of
all
his
dreams
in
connection
with
his
perspective
superior
life
here
?
