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Almost
,
Louis
thought
morbidly
.
But
Ellie
was
fine
.
She
came
home
at
noon
smiling
and
sunny
,
her
blue
first-day-of-school
dress
belling
gracefully
around
her
scabbed
shins
(
and
there
was
a
new
scrape
on
one
knee
to
marvel
over
)
,
a
picture
of
what
might
have
been
two
children
or
perhaps
two
walking
gantries
in
one
hand
,
one
shoe
untied
,
one
ribbon
missing
from
her
hair
,
shouting
,
"
We
sang
"
Old
MacDonald
'
!
Mommy
!
Daddy
!
We
sang
"
Old
MacDonald
'
!
Same
one
as
in
the
Carstairs
Street
School
!
"
Rachel
glanced
over
at
Louis
,
who
was
sitting
in
the
windowseat
with
Gage
on
his
lap
.
The
baby
was
almost
asleep
.
There
was
something
sad
in
Rachel
's
glance
,
and
although
she
looked
away
quickly
,
Louis
felt
a
moment
of
terrible
panic
.
We
're
really
going
to
get
old
,
he
thought
.
It
's
really
true
.
No
one
's
going
to
make
an
exception
for
us
.
She
's
on
her
way
...
and
so
are
we
.
Ellie
ran
over
to
him
,
trying
to
show
him
her
picture
,
her
new
scrape
,
and
tell
him
about
"
Old
MacDonald
"
and
Mrs.
Berryman
all
at
the
same
time
.
Church
was
twining
in
and
out
between
her
legs
,
purring
loudly
,
and
Ellie
was
somehow
,
almost
miraculously
,
not
tripping
over
him
.
"
Shh
,
"
Louis
said
and
kissed
her
.
Gage
had
gone
to
sleep
,
unmindful
of
all
the
excitement
.
"
Just
let
me
put
the
baby
to
bed
and
then
I
'll
listen
to
everything
.
"
He
took
Gage
up
the
stairs
,
walking
through
hot
slanting
September
sunshine
,
and
as
he
reached
the
landing
,
such
a
premonition
of
horror
and
darkness
struck
him
that
he
stopped
--
stopped
cold
--
and
looked
around
in
surprise
,
wondering
what
could
possibly
have
come
over
him
.
He
held
the
baby
tighter
,
almost
clutching
him
,
and
Gage
stirred
uncomfortably
.
Louis
's
arms
and
back
had
broken
out
in
great
rashes
of
gooseflesh
.
What
's
wrong
?
he
wondered
,
confused
and
frightened
.
His
heart
was
racing
;
his
scalp
felt
cool
and
abruptly
too
small
to
cover
his
skull
;
he
could
feel
the
surge
of
adrenaline
behind
his
eyes
.
Human
eyes
really
did
bug
out
when
fear
was
extreme
,
he
knew
;
they
did
not
just
widen
but
actually
bulged
as
blood
pressure
climbed
and
the
hydrostatic
pressure
of
the
cranial
fluids
increased
.
What
the
hell
is
it
?
Ghosts
?
Christ
,
it
really
feels
as
if
something
just
brushed
by
me
in
this
hallway
,
something
I
almost
saw
.
Downstairs
the
screen
door
whacked
against
its
frame
.
Louis
creed
jumped
,
almost
screamed
,
and
then
laughed
.
It
was
simply
one
of
those
psychological
cold
pockets
people
sometimes
passed
through
--
no
more
,
no
less
.
A
momentary
fugue
.
They
happened
;
that
was
all
.
What
had
Scrooge
said
to
the
ghost
of
Jacob
Marley
?
You
may
be
no
more
than
an
underdone
bit
of
potato
.
There
's
more
gravy
than
grave
to
you
.
And
that
was
more
correct
--
physiologically
as
well
as
psychologically
--
than
Charles
Dickens
had
probably
known
