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I
looked
at
him
to
make
sure
he
was
n't
joking
.
I
did
n't
think
he
was
.
"
What
do
you
mean
?
"
"
I
mean
we
're
fixing
to
kill
a
gift
of
God
,
"
he
said
"
One
that
never
did
ary
harm
to
us
,
or
to
anyone
else
.
What
am
I
going
to
say
if
I
end
up
standing
in
front
of
God
the
Father
Almighty
and
He
asks
me
to
explain
why
I
did
it
?
That
it
was
my
job
?
My
job
?
"
When
John
got
back
from
his
shower
and
the
floaters
had
left
,
I
unlocked
his
cell
,
went
in
,
and
sat
down
on
the
bunk
beside
him
.
Brutal
was
on
the
desk
.
He
looked
up
,
saw
me
in
there
on
my
own
,
but
said
nothing
.
He
just
went
back
to
whatever
paperwork
he
was
currently
mangling
,
licking
away
at
the
tip
of
his
pencil
the
whole
time
.
John
looked
at
me
with
his
strange
eyes
--
bloodshot
,
distant
,
on
the
verge
of
tears
...
and
yet
calm
,
too
,
as
if
crying
was
not
such
a
bad
way
of
life
,
not
once
you
got
used
to
it
.
He
even
smiled
a
little
.
He
smelled
of
Ivory
soap
,
I
remember
,
as
clean
and
fresh
as
a
baby
after
his
evening
bath
.
"
Hello
,
boss
,
"
he
said
,
and
then
reached
out
and
took
both
of
my
hands
in
both
of
his
.
It
was
done
with
a
perfect
unstudied
naturalness
.
"
Hello
,
John
.
"
There
was
a
little
block
in
my
throat
,
and
I
tried
to
swallow
it
away
.
"
I
guess
you
know
that
we
're
coming
down
to
it
now
.
Another
couple
of
days
.
"
He
said
nothing
,
only
sat
there
holding
my
hands
in
his
.
I
think
,
looking
back
on
it
,
that
something
had
already
begun
to
happen
to
me
,
but
I
was
too
fixed
--
mentally
and
emotionally
--
on
doing
my
duty
to
notice
.
"
Is
there
anything
special
you
'd
like
that
night
for
dinner
,
John
?
We
can
rustle
you
up
most
anything
.
Even
bring
you
a
beer
,
if
you
want
.
Just
have
to
put
her
in
a
coffee
cup
,
that
's
all
.
"
"
Never
got
the
taste
,
"
he
said
.
