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My
guilt
slowly
subsided
as
I
looked
into
her
dark
eyes
.
But
,
even
as
the
calm
spread
over
me
,
I
knew
I
couldn
’
t
trust
my
feelings
with
Jasper
there
.
It
was
a
very
long
day
.
We
stayed
in
the
room
.
Alice
called
down
to
the
front
desk
and
asked
them
to
ignore
our
maid
service
for
now
.
The
windows
stayed
shut
,
the
TV
on
,
though
no
one
watched
it
.
At
regular
intervals
,
food
was
delivered
for
me
.
The
silver
phone
resting
on
Alice
’
s
bag
seemed
to
grow
bigger
as
the
hours
passed
.
My
babysitters
handled
the
suspense
better
than
I
did
.
As
I
fidgeted
and
paced
,
they
simply
grew
more
still
,
two
statues
whose
eyes
followed
me
imperceptibly
as
I
moved
.
I
occupied
myself
with
memorizing
the
room
;
the
striped
pattern
of
the
couches
,
tan
,
peach
,
cream
,
dull
gold
,
and
tan
again
.
Sometimes
I
stared
at
the
abstract
prints
,
randomly
finding
pictures
in
the
shapes
,
like
I
’
d
found
pictures
in
the
clouds
as
a
child
.
I
traced
a
blue
hand
,
a
woman
combing
her
hair
,
a
cat
stretching
.
But
when
the
pale
red
circle
became
a
staring
eye
,
I
looked
away
.
As
the
afternoon
wore
on
,
I
went
back
to
bed
,
simply
for
something
to
do
.
I
hoped
that
by
myself
in
the
dark
,
I
could
give
in
to
the
terrible
fears
that
hovered
on
the
edge
of
my
consciousness
,
unable
to
break
through
under
Jasper
’
s
careful
supervision
.
But
Alice
followed
me
casually
,
as
if
by
some
coincidence
she
had
grown
tired
of
the
front
room
at
the
same
time
.
I
was
beginning
to
wonder
exactly
what
sort
of
instructions
Edward
had
given
her
.
I
lay
across
the
bed
,
and
she
sat
,
legs
folded
,
next
to
me
.
I
ignored
her
at
first
,
suddenly
tired
enough
to
sleep
.
But
after
a
few
minutes
,
the
panic
that
had
held
off
in
Jasper
’
s
presence
began
to
make
itself
known
.
I
gave
up
on
the
idea
of
sleep
quickly
then
,
curling
up
into
a
small
ball
,
wrapping
my
arms
around
my
legs
.
"
Alice
?
"
I
asked
.
