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"
Oh
,
"
he
said
,
surprised
.
"
Oh
,
okay
.
So
,
do
you
want
me
to
stay
home
?
"
"
No
,
Dad
,
don
’
t
change
your
plans
.
I
’
ve
got
a
million
things
to
do
.
.
.
homework
,
laundry
.
.
.
I
need
to
go
to
the
library
and
the
grocery
store
.
I
’
ll
be
in
and
out
all
day
.
.
.
you
go
and
have
fun
.
"
"
Are
you
sure
?
"
"
Absolutely
,
Dad
.
Besides
,
the
freezer
is
getting
dangerously
low
on
fish
-
we
’
re
down
to
a
two
,
maybe
three
years
’
supply
.
"
"
You
’
re
sure
easy
to
live
with
,
Bella
.
"
He
smiled
.
"
I
could
say
the
same
thing
about
you
,
"
I
said
,
laughing
.
The
sound
of
my
laughter
was
off
,
but
he
didn
’
t
seem
to
notice
.
I
felt
so
guilty
for
deceiving
him
that
I
almost
took
Edward
’
s
advice
and
told
him
where
I
would
be
.
Almost
.
After
dinner
,
I
folded
clothes
and
moved
another
load
through
the
dryer
.
Unfortunately
it
was
the
kind
of
job
that
only
keeps
hands
busy
.
My
mind
definitely
had
too
much
free
time
,
and
it
was
getting
out
of
control
.
I
fluctuated
between
anticipation
so
intense
that
it
was
very
nearly
pain
,
and
an
insidious
fear
that
picked
at
my
resolve
.
I
had
to
keep
reminding
myself
that
I
’
d
made
my
choice
,
and
I
wasn
’
t
going
back
on
it
.
I
pulled
his
note
out
of
my
pocket
much
more
often
than
necessary
to
absorb
the
two
small
words
he
’
d
written
.
He
wants
me
to
be
safe
,
I
told
myself
again
and
again
.
I
would
just
hold
on
to
the
faith
that
,
in
the
end
,
that
desire
would
win
out
over
the
others
.
And
what
was
my
other
choice
-
to
cut
him
out
of
my
life
?
Intolerable
.
Besides
,
since
I
’
d
come
to
Forks
,
it
really
seemed
like
my
life
was
about
him
.
But
a
tiny
voice
in
the
back
of
my
mind
worried
,
wondering
if
it
would
hurt
very
much
.
.
.
if
it
ended
badly
.
I
was
relieved
when
it
was
late
enough
to
be
acceptable
for
bedtime
.
I
knew
I
was
far
too
stressed
to
sleep
,
so
I
did
something
I
’
d
never
done
before
.
I
deliberately
took
unnecessary
cold
medicine
-
the
kind
that
knocked
me
out
for
a
good
eight
hours
.
I
normally
wouldn
’
t
condone
that
type
of
behavior
in
myself
,
but
tomorrow
would
be
complicated
enough
without
me
being
loopy
from
sleep
deprivation
on
top
of
everything
else
.
While
I
waited
for
the
drugs
to
kick
in
,
I
dried
my
clean
hair
till
it
was
impeccably
straight
,
and
fussed
over
what
I
would
wear
tomorrow
.
With
everything
ready
for
the
morning
,
I
finally
lay
in
my
bed
.
I
felt
hyper
;
I
couldn
’
t
stop
twitching
.
I
got
up
and
rifled
through
my
shoebox
of
CDs
until
I
found
a
collection
of
Chopin
’
s
nocturnes
.
