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I
glanced
up
to
see
that
his
eyes
were
gentle
.
"
You
can
’
t
know
that
,
"
I
disagreed
in
a
whisper
.
I
shook
my
head
in
doubt
,
though
my
heart
throbbed
at
his
words
and
I
wanted
so
badly
to
believe
them
.
"
What
makes
you
think
so
?
"
His
liquid
topaz
eyes
were
penetrating
-
trying
futilely
,
I
assumed
,
to
lift
the
truth
straight
from
my
mind
.
I
stared
back
,
struggling
to
think
clearly
in
spite
of
his
face
,
to
find
some
way
to
explain
.
As
I
searched
for
the
words
,
I
could
see
him
getting
impatient
;
frustrated
by
my
silence
,
he
started
to
scowl
.
I
lifted
my
hand
from
my
neck
,
and
held
up
one
finger
.
"
Let
me
think
,
"
I
insisted
.
His
expression
cleared
,
now
that
he
was
satisfied
that
I
was
planning
to
answer
.
I
dropped
my
hand
to
the
table
,
moving
my
left
hand
so
that
my
palms
were
pressed
together
.
I
stared
at
my
hands
,
twisting
and
untwisting
my
fingers
,
as
I
finally
spoke
.
"
Well
,
aside
from
the
obvious
,
sometimes
.
.
.
"
I
hesitated
.
"
I
can
’
t
be
sure
-
I
don
’
t
know
how
to
read
minds
-
but
sometimes
it
seems
like
you
’
re
trying
to
say
goodbye
when
you
’
re
saying
something
else
.
"
That
was
the
best
I
could
sum
up
the
sensation
of
anguish
that
his
words
triggered
in
me
at
times
.
"
Perceptive
,
"
he
whispered
.
And
there
was
the
anguish
again
,
surfacing
as
he
confirmed
my
fear
.
"
That
’
s
exactly
why
you
’
re
wrong
,
though
,
"
he
began
to
explain
,
but
then
his
eyes
narrowed
.
"
What
do
you
mean
,
’
the
obvious
’
?
"
"
Well
,
look
at
me
,
"
I
said
,
unnecessarily
as
he
was
already
staring
.
"
I
’
m
absolutely
ordinary
-
well
,
except
for
bad
things
like
all
the
near
-
death
experiences
and
being
so
clumsy
that
I
’
m
almost
disabled
.
And
look
at
you
.
"
I
waved
my
hand
toward
him
and
all
his
bewildering
perfection
.
His
brow
creased
angrily
for
a
moment
,
then
smoothed
as
his
eyes
took
on
a
knowing
look
.
"
You
don
’
t
see
yourself
very
clearly
,
you
know
.
I
’
ll
admit
you
’
re
dead
-
on
about
the
bad
things
,
"
he
chuckled
blackly
,
"
but
you
didn
’
t
hear
what
every
human
male
in
this
school
was
thinking
on
your
first
day
.
"
