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When
I
got
to
the
truck
,
it
was
almost
the
last
car
in
the
lot
.
It
seemed
like
a
haven
,
already
the
closest
thing
to
home
I
had
in
this
damp
green
hole
.
I
sat
inside
for
a
while
,
just
staring
out
the
windshield
blankly
.
But
soon
I
was
cold
enough
to
need
the
heater
,
so
I
turned
the
key
and
the
engine
roared
to
life
.
I
headed
back
to
Charlie
’
s
house
,
fighting
tears
the
whole
way
there
.
The
next
day
was
better
.
.
.
and
worse
.
It
was
better
because
it
wasn
’
t
raining
yet
,
though
the
clouds
were
dense
and
opaque
.
It
was
easier
because
I
knew
what
to
expect
of
my
day
.
Mike
came
to
sit
by
me
in
English
,
and
walked
me
to
my
next
class
,
with
Chess
Club
Eric
glaring
at
him
all
the
while
;
that
was
nattering
.
People
didn
’
t
look
at
me
quite
as
much
as
they
had
yesterday
.
I
sat
with
a
big
group
at
lunch
that
included
Mike
,
Eric
,
Jessica
,
and
several
other
people
whose
names
and
faces
I
now
remembered
.
I
began
to
feel
like
I
was
treading
water
,
instead
of
drowning
in
it
.
It
was
worse
because
I
was
tired
;
I
still
couldn
’
t
sleep
with
the
wind
echoing
around
the
house
.
It
was
worse
because
Mr
.
Varner
called
on
me
in
Trig
when
my
hand
wasn
’
t
raised
and
I
had
the
wrong
answer
.
It
was
miserable
because
I
had
to
play
volleyball
,
and
the
one
time
I
didn
’
t
cringe
out
of
the
way
of
the
ball
,
I
hit
my
teammate
in
the
head
with
it
.
And
it
was
worse
because
Edward
Cullen
wasn
’
t
in
school
at
all
.
All
morning
I
was
dreading
lunch
,
fearing
his
bizarre
glares
.
Part
of
me
wanted
to
confront
him
and
demand
to
know
what
his
problem
was
.
While
I
was
lying
sleepless
in
my
bed
,
I
even
imagined
what
I
would
say
.
But
I
knew
myself
too
well
to
think
I
would
really
have
the
guts
to
do
it
.
I
made
the
Cowardly
Lion
look
like
the
terminator
.
But
when
I
walked
into
the
cafeteria
with
Jessica
-
trying
to
keep
my
eyes
from
sweeping
the
place
for
him
,
and
failing
entirely
-
I
saw
that
his
four
siblings
of
sorts
were
sitting
together
at
the
same
table
,
and
he
was
not
with
them
.
Mike
intercepted
us
and
steered
us
to
his
table
.
Jessica
seemed
elated
by
the
attention
,
and
her
friends
quickly
joined
us
.
But
as
I
tried
to
listen
to
their
easy
chatter
,
I
was
terribly
uncomfortable
,
waiting
nervously
for
the
moment
he
would
arrive
.
I
hoped
that
he
would
simply
ignore
me
when
he
came
,
and
prove
my
suspicions
false
.
He
didn
’
t
come
,
and
as
time
passed
I
grew
more
and
more
tense
.
I
walked
to
Biology
with
more
confidence
when
,
by
the
end
of
lunch
,
he
still
hadn
’
t
showed
.
Mike
,
who
was
taking
on
the
qualities
of
a
golden
retriever
,
walked
faithfully
by
my
side
to
class
.
I
held
my
breath
at
the
door
,
but
Edward
Cullen
wasn
’
t
there
,
either
.
I
exhaled
and
went
to
my
seat
.
Mike
followed
,
talking
about
an
upcoming
trip
to
the
beach
.
He
lingered
by
my
desk
till
the
bell
rang
.
Then
he
smiled
at
me
wistfully
and
went
to
sit
by
a
girl
with
braces
and
a
bad
perm
.
It
looked
like
I
was
going
to
have
to
do
something
about
Mike
,
and
it
wouldn
’
t
be
easy
.
In
a
town
like
this
,
where
everyone
lived
on
top
of
everyone
else
,
diplomacy
was
essential
.
I
had
never
been
enormously
tactful
;
I
had
no
practice
dealing
with
overly
friendly
boys
.
I
was
relieved
that
I
had
the
desk
to
myself
,
that
Edward
was
absent
.
I
told
myself
that
repeatedly
.
But
I
couldn
’
t
get
rid
of
the
nagging
suspicion
that
I
was
the
reason
he
wasn
’
t
there
.
It
was
ridiculous
,
and
egotistical
,
to
think
that
I
could
affect
anyone
that
strongly
.
It
was
impossible
.
And
yet
I
couldn
’
t
stop
worrying
that
it
was
true
.
