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41
We
have
been
here
two
weeks
,
and
I
have
n't
felt
like
writing
before
,
since
that
first
day
.
42
I
am
sitting
by
the
window
now
,
up
in
this
atrocious
nursery
,
and
there
is
nothing
to
hinder
my
writing
as
much
as
I
please
,
save
lack
of
strength
.
43
John
is
away
all
day
,
and
even
some
nights
when
his
cases
are
serious
.
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44
I
am
glad
my
case
is
not
serious
!
45
But
these
nervous
troubles
are
dreadfully
depressing
.
46
John
does
not
know
how
much
I
really
suffer
.
He
knows
there
is
no
REASON
to
suffer
,
and
that
satisfies
him
.
47
Of
course
it
is
only
nervousness
.
It
does
weigh
on
me
so
not
to
do
my
duty
in
any
way
!
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48
I
meant
to
be
such
a
help
to
John
,
such
a
real
rest
and
comfort
,
and
here
I
am
a
comparative
burden
already
!
49
Nobody
would
believe
what
an
effort
it
is
to
do
what
little
I
am
able
--
to
dress
and
entertain
,
and
other
things
.
50
It
is
fortunate
Mary
is
so
good
with
the
baby
.
Such
a
dear
baby
!