Джэйн Эйр/Jane Eyre (Шарлотта Бронте). Страница 405 из 445

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"

I

am

coming

!

"

I

cried

.

"

Wait

for

me

!

Oh

,

I

will

come

!

"

I

flew

to

the

door

and

looked

into

the

passage

:

it

was

dark

.

I

ran

out

into

the

garden

:

it

was

void

.

"

Where

are

you

?

"

I

exclaimed

.

The

hills

beyond

Marsh

Glen

sent

the

answer

faintly

back

--

"

Where

are

you

?

"

I

listened

.

The

wind

sighed

low

in

the

firs

:

all

was

moorland

loneliness

and

midnight

hush

.

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"

Down

superstition

!

"

I

commented

,

as

that

spectre

rose

up

black

by

the

black

yew

at

the

gate

.

"

This

is

not

thy

deception

,

nor

thy

witchcraft

:

it

is

the

work

of

nature

.

She

was

roused

,

and

did

--

no

miracle

--

but

her

best

.

"

I

broke

from

St.

John

,

who

had

followed

,

and

would

have

detained

me

.

It

was

my

time

to

assume

ascendency

.

My

powers

were

in

play

and

in

force

.

I

told

him

to

forbear

question

or

remark

;

I

desired

him

to

leave

me

:

I

must

and

would

be

alone

.

He

obeyed

at

once

.

Where

there

is

energy

to

command

well

enough

,

obedience

never

fails

.

I

mounted

to

my

chamber

;

locked

myself

in

;

fell

on

my

knees

;

and

prayed

in

my

way

--

a

different

way

to

St.

John

's

,

but

effective

in

its

own

fashion

I

seemed

to

penetrate

very

near

a

Mighty

Spirit

;

and

my

soul

rushed

out

in

gratitude

at

His

feet

.

I

rose

from

the

thanksgiving

--

took

a

resolve

--

and

lay

down

,

unscared

,

enlightened

--

eager

but

for

the

daylight

.

The

daylight

came

.

I

rose

at

dawn

.

I

busied

myself

for

an

hour

or

two

with

arranging

my

things

in

my

chamber

,

drawers

,

and

wardrobe

,

in

the

order

wherein

I

should

wish

to

leave

them

during

a

brief

absence

.

Meantime

,

I

heard

St.

John

quit

his

room

.

He

stopped

at

my

door

:

I

feared

he

would

knock

--

no

,

but

a

slip

of

paper

was

passed

under

the

door

.

I

took

it

up

.

It

bore

these

words

--

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"

You

left

me

too

suddenly

last

night

.

Had

you

stayed

but

a

little

longer

,

you

would

have

laid

your

hand

on

the

Christian

's

cross

and

the

angel

's

crown

.

I

shall

expect

your

clear

decision

when

I

return

this

day

fortnight

.

Meantime

,

watch

and

pray

that

you

enter

not

into

temptation

:

the

spirit

,

I

trust

,

is

willing

,

but

the

flesh

,

I

see

,

is

weak

.

I

shall

pray

for

you

hourly

.

--

Yours

,

St.

John

.

"

"

My

spirit

,

"

I

answered

mentally

,

"

is

willing

to

do

what

is

right

;

and

my

flesh

,

I

hope

,

is

strong

enough

to

accomplish

the

will

of

Heaven

,

when

once

that

will

is

distinctly

known

to

me

.

At

any

rate

,

it

shall

be

strong

enough

to

search

--

inquire

--

to

grope

an

outlet

from

this

cloud

of

doubt

,

and

find

the

open

day

of

certainty

.

"

It

was

the

first

of

June

;

yet

the

morning

was

overcast

and

chilly

:

rain

beat

fast

on

my

casement

.

I

heard

the

front-door

open

,

and

St.

John

pass

out

.

Looking

through

the

window

,

I

saw

him

traverse

the

garden

.

He

took

the

way

over

the

misty

moors

in

the

direction

of

Whitcross

--

there

he

would

meet

the

coach

.

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