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"
Now
,
"
said
he
,
"
that
little
space
was
given
to
delirium
and
delusion
.
I
rested
my
temples
on
the
breast
of
temptation
,
and
put
my
neck
voluntarily
under
her
yoke
of
flowers
.
I
tasted
her
cup
.
The
pillow
was
burning
:
there
is
an
asp
in
the
garland
:
the
wine
has
a
bitter
taste
:
her
promises
are
hollow
--
her
offers
false
:
I
see
and
know
all
this
.
"
I
gazed
at
him
in
wonder
.
"
It
is
strange
,
"
pursued
he
,
"
that
while
I
love
Rosamond
Oliver
so
wildly
--
with
all
the
intensity
,
indeed
,
of
a
first
passion
,
the
object
of
which
is
exquisitely
beautiful
,
graceful
,
fascinating
--
I
experience
at
the
same
time
a
calm
,
unwarped
consciousness
that
she
would
not
make
me
a
good
wife
;
that
she
is
not
the
partner
suited
to
me
;
that
I
should
discover
this
within
a
year
after
marriage
;
and
that
to
twelve
months
'
rapture
would
succeed
a
lifetime
of
regret
.
This
I
know
.
"
"
Strange
indeed
!
"
I
could
not
help
ejaculating
.
"
While
something
in
me
,
"
he
went
on
,
"
is
acutely
sensible
to
her
charms
,
something
else
is
as
deeply
impressed
with
her
defects
:
they
are
such
that
she
could
sympathise
in
nothing
I
aspired
to
--
co-operate
in
nothing
I
undertook
.
Rosamond
a
sufferer
,
a
labourer
,
a
female
apostle
?
Rosamond
a
missionary
's
wife
?
No
!
"
"
But
you
need
not
be
a
missionary
.
You
might
relinquish
that
scheme
.
"
"
Relinquish
!
What
!
my
vocation
?
My
great
work
?
My
foundation
laid
on
earth
for
a
mansion
in
heaven
?
My
hopes
of
being
numbered
in
the
band
who
have
merged
all
ambitions
in
the
glorious
one
of
bettering
their
race
--
of
carrying
knowledge
into
the
realms
of
ignorance
--
of
substituting
peace
for
war
--
freedom
for
bondage
--
religion
for
superstition
--
the
hope
of
heaven
for
the
fear
of
hell
?
Must
I
relinquish
that
?
It
is
dearer
than
the
blood
in
my
veins
.
It
is
what
I
have
to
look
forward
to
,
and
to
live
for
.
"
After
a
considerable
pause
,
I
said
--
"
And
Miss
Oliver
?
Are
her
disappointment
and
sorrow
of
no
interest
to
you
?
"
"
Miss
Oliver
is
ever
surrounded
by
suitors
and
flatterers
:
in
less
than
a
month
,
my
image
will
be
effaced
from
her
heart
.
She
will
forget
me
;
and
will
marry
,
probably
,
some
one
who
will
make
her
far
happier
than
I
should
do
.
"
"
You
speak
coolly
enough
;
but
you
suffer
in
the
conflict
.
You
are
wasting
away
.
"
