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"
Never
fucking
mind
what
I
said
.
Do
you
understand
what
you
’
ve
done
here
,
Kovacs
?
"
"
The
only
thing
I
under
—
"
Abruptly
,
sound
welled
from
the
screen
behind
me
,
liquid
groans
and
the
sound
of
organic
suction
.
I
glanced
at
the
remote
clenched
in
my
left
hand
,
trying
to
see
how
I
’
d
inadvertently
unfrozen
the
playback
,
and
a
deep
,
female
moan
sent
the
blood
twitching
through
my
guts
.
Then
Ortega
was
on
me
,
trying
to
snatch
the
remote
out
of
my
hand
.
"
Give
me
that
,
turn
that
fucking
thing
—
"
For
a
moment
I
wrestled
with
her
and
our
struggling
only
succeeded
in
making
the
volume
louder
.
Then
,
suddenly
,
riding
a
solitary
updraft
of
sanity
,
I
let
go
and
she
collapsed
against
the
chair
,
pressing
buttons
.
"
—
off
.
"
There
was
a
long
silence
,
punctuated
only
by
our
own
heavy
breathing
.
I
fixed
my
gaze
on
one
of
the
battened
-
down
viewports
across
the
room
,
Ortega
,
slumped
between
my
leg
and
the
chair
,
was
presumably
still
looking
at
the
screen
.
I
thought
that
,
for
a
moment
,
our
breathing
matched
pace
.
When
I
turned
and
bent
to
help
her
up
,
she
was
already
rising
towards
me
.
Our
hands
were
on
each
other
,
I
think
,
before
either
of
us
realised
what
was
happening
.
It
was
like
resolution
.
The
circling
antagonisms
collapsed
inward
like
orbitals
crashing
and
burning
,
surrendering
to
a
mutual
gravity
that
had
dragged
like
chains
while
it
endured
but
in
release
was
a
streak
of
fire
through
the
nerves
.
We
were
both
trying
to
kiss
each
other
and
laugh
at
the
same
time
.
Ortega
made
excited
little
panting
sounds
as
my
hands
slipped
inside
the
kimono
,
palms
skidding
over
coarse
nipples
as
broad
and
stiff
as
rope
-
ends
and
the
breasts
that
fitted
into
my
hands
as
if
designed
to
nestle
there
.
The
kimono
came
off
,
sliding
at
first
and
then
jerked
insistently
free
of
each
swimmer
’
s
shoulder
in
turn
.
I
shed
jacket
and
shirt
in
one
,
while
Ortega
’
s
hands
tangled
frantically
at
my
belt
,
opening
the
fly
and
sliding
one
hard
,
long
-
fingered
hand
into
the
gap
.
I
felt
the
calluses
at
the
base
of
each
finger
,
rubbing
.
Somehow
we
got
out
of
the
room
with
the
screen
,
and
made
it
to
the
stern
-
end
cabin
I
’
d
seen
earlier
.
