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- Нил Гейман
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- Американские боги
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- Стр. 357/641
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"
Nothing
so
exciting
,
I
’
m
afraid
.
"
He
suffers
from
occasional
hemorrhoids
and
his
ass
has
just
started
itching
in
the
way
that
signals
that
a
flare
-
up
is
coming
.
He
wants
to
be
back
inside
the
Beltway
.
He
wishes
there
was
a
tree
to
go
and
stand
behind
:
the
urge
to
piss
is
getting
worse
.
He
drops
the
cigarette
and
steps
on
it
.
Local
Law
Enforcement
walks
over
to
one
of
the
police
cars
and
says
something
to
the
driver
.
They
both
shake
their
heads
.
He
wonders
if
he
should
simply
grit
his
teeth
,
try
to
imagine
that
he
is
in
Maui
with
no
one
else
around
,
and
piss
against
the
rear
wheel
of
the
car
.
He
wishes
he
weren
’
t
so
utterly
pee
-
shy
,
and
he
thinks
maybe
he
can
hold
it
in
for
longer
but
he
finds
himself
remembering
a
newspaper
clipping
that
someone
had
tacked
up
in
the
lounge
in
his
frat
house
,
thirty
years
before
:
the
cautionary
tale
of
an
old
man
who
had
been
on
a
long
bus
ride
with
a
busted
rest
-
room
,
who
had
held
it
in
,
and
,
at
the
end
of
his
journey
,
needed
to
be
catheterized
in
order
ever
to
piss
again
…
That
was
ridiculous
.
He
isn
’
t
that
old
.
He
is
going
to
celebrate
his
fiftieth
birthday
in
April
,
and
his
waterworks
work
just
fine
.
Everything
works
just
fine
.
He
pulls
out
his
telephone
,
touches
the
menu
,
pages
down
,
and
finds
the
address
entry
marked
"
Laundry
"
which
had
amused
him
so
much
when
he
typed
it
in
—
a
reference
to
The
Man
from
U
.
N
.
C
.
L
.
E
.
,
and
as
he
looks
at
it
he
realizes
that
it
’
s
not
from
that
at
all
,
that
was
a
tailor
’
s
,
he
’
s
thinking
of
Get
Smart
,
and
he
still
feels
weird
and
slightly
embarrassed
after
all
these
years
about
not
realizing
it
was
a
comedy
when
he
was
a
kid
,
and
just
wanting
a
shoephone
…
A
woman
’
s
voice
on
the
phone
.
"
Yes
?
"
"
This
is
Mister
Town
,
for
Mister
World
.
"
"
Hold
please
.
I
’
ll
see
if
he
’
s
available
.
"
There
is
silence
.
Town
crosses
his
legs
,
tugs
his
belt
higher
on
his
belly
—
got
to
lose
these
last
ten
pounds
—
and
away
from
his
bladder
.
Then
an
urbane
voice
says
,
"
Hello
,
Mister
Town
.
"
