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The
name
of
my
unfortunate
and
murdered
friend
was
an
agitation
too
great
to
be
endured
in
my
weak
state
;
I
shed
tears
.
"
Alas
!
Yes
,
my
father
,
"
replied
I
;
"
some
destiny
of
the
most
horrible
kind
hangs
over
me
,
and
I
must
live
to
fulfil
it
,
or
surely
I
should
have
died
on
the
coffin
of
Henry
.
"
We
were
not
allowed
to
converse
for
any
length
of
time
,
for
the
precarious
state
of
my
health
rendered
every
precaution
necessary
that
could
ensure
tranquillity
.
Mr.
Kirwin
came
in
and
insisted
that
my
strength
should
not
be
exhausted
by
too
much
exertion
.
But
the
appearance
of
my
father
was
to
me
like
that
of
my
good
angel
,
and
I
gradually
recovered
my
health
.
As
my
sickness
quitted
me
,
I
was
absorbed
by
a
gloomy
and
black
melancholy
that
nothing
could
dissipate
.
The
image
of
Clerval
was
forever
before
me
,
ghastly
and
murdered
.
More
than
once
the
agitation
into
which
these
reflections
threw
me
made
my
friends
dread
a
dangerous
relapse
.
Alas
!
Why
did
they
preserve
so
miserable
and
detested
a
life
?
It
was
surely
that
I
might
fulfil
my
destiny
,
which
is
now
drawing
to
a
close
.
Soon
,
oh
,
very
soon
,
will
death
extinguish
these
throbbings
and
relieve
me
from
the
mighty
weight
of
anguish
that
bears
me
to
the
dust
;
and
,
in
executing
the
award
of
justice
,
I
shall
also
sink
to
rest
.
Then
the
appearance
of
death
was
distant
,
although
the
wish
was
ever
present
to
my
thoughts
;
and
I
often
sat
for
hours
motionless
and
speechless
,
wishing
for
some
mighty
revolution
that
might
bury
me
and
my
destroyer
in
its
ruins
.
The
season
of
the
assizes
approached
.
I
had
already
been
three
months
in
prison
,
and
although
I
was
still
weak
and
in
continual
danger
of
a
relapse
,
I
was
obliged
to
travel
nearly
a
hundred
miles
to
the
country
town
where
the
court
was
held
.
Mr.
Kirwin
charged
himself
with
every
care
of
collecting
witnesses
and
arranging
my
defence
.
I
was
spared
the
disgrace
of
appearing
publicly
as
a
criminal
,
as
the
case
was
not
brought
before
the
court
that
decides
on
life
and
death
.
The
grand
jury
rejected
the
bill
,
on
its
being
proved
that
I
was
on
the
Orkney
Islands
at
the
hour
the
body
of
my
friend
was
found
;
and
a
fortnight
after
my
removal
I
was
liberated
from
prison
.
My
father
was
enraptured
on
finding
me
freed
from
the
vexations
of
a
criminal
charge
,
that
I
was
again
allowed
to
breathe
the
fresh
atmosphere
and
permitted
to
return
to
my
native
country
.
I
did
not
participate
in
these
feelings
,
for
to
me
the
walls
of
a
dungeon
or
a
palace
were
alike
hateful
.
The
cup
of
life
was
poisoned
forever
,
and
although
the
sun
shone
upon
me
,
as
upon
the
happy
and
gay
of
heart
,
I
saw
around
me
nothing
but
a
dense
and
frightful
darkness
,
penetrated
by
no
light
but
the
glimmer
of
two
eyes
that
glared
upon
me
.
Sometimes
they
were
the
expressive
eyes
of
Henry
,
languishing
in
death
,
the
dark
orbs
nearly
covered
by
the
lids
and
the
long
black
lashes
that
fringed
them
;
sometimes
it
was
the
watery
,
clouded
eyes
of
the
monster
,
as
I
first
saw
them
in
my
chamber
at
Ingolstadt
.
My
father
tried
to
awaken
in
me
the
feelings
of
affection
.
He
talked
of
Geneva
,
which
I
should
soon
visit
,
of
Elizabeth
and
Ernest
;
but
these
words
only
drew
deep
groans
from
me
.
Sometimes
,
indeed
,
I
felt
a
wish
for
happiness
and
thought
with
melancholy
delight
of
my
beloved
cousin
or
longed
,
with
a
devouring
maladie
du
pays
,
to
see
once
more
the
blue
lake
and
rapid
Rhone
,
that
had
been
so
dear
to
me
in
early
childhood
;
but
my
general
state
of
feeling
was
a
torpor
in
which
a
prison
was
as
welcome
a
residence
as
the
divinest
scene
in
nature
;
and
these
fits
were
seldom
interrupted
but
by
paroxysms
of
anguish
and
despair
.
At
these
moments
I
often
endeavoured
to
put
an
end
to
the
existence
I
loathed
,
and
it
required
unceasing
attendance
and
vigilance
to
restrain
me
from
committing
some
dreadful
act
of
violence
.
Yet
one
duty
remained
to
me
,
the
recollection
of
which
finally
triumphed
over
my
selfish
despair
.
It
was
necessary
that
I
should
return
without
delay
to
Geneva
,
there
to
watch
over
the
lives
of
those
I
so
fondly
loved
and
to
lie
in
wait
for
the
murderer
,
that
if
any
chance
led
me
to
the
place
of
his
concealment
,
or
if
he
dared
again
to
blast
me
by
his
presence
,
I
might
,
with
unfailing
aim
,
put
an
end
to
the
existence
of
the
monstrous
image
which
I
had
endued
with
the
mockery
of
a
soul
still
more
monstrous
.
My
father
still
desired
to
delay
our
departure
,
fearful
that
I
could
not
sustain
the
fatigues
of
a
journey
,
for
I
was
a
shattered
wreck
--
the
shadow
of
a
human
being
.
My
strength
was
gone
.
I
was
a
mere
skeleton
,
and
fever
night
and
day
preyed
upon
my
wasted
frame
.
Still
,
as
I
urged
our
leaving
Ireland
with
such
inquietude
and
impatience
,
my
father
thought
it
best
to
yield
.
We
took
our
passage
on
board
a
vessel
bound
for
Havre-de-Grace
and
sailed
with
a
fair
wind
from
the
Irish
shores
.
It
was
midnight
.
I
lay
on
the
deck
looking
at
the
stars
and
listening
to
the
dashing
of
the
waves
.
I
hailed
the
darkness
that
shut
Ireland
from
my
sight
,
and
my
pulse
beat
with
a
feverish
joy
when
I
reflected
that
I
should
soon
see
Geneva
.
The
past
appeared
to
me
in
the
light
of
a
frightful
dream
;
yet
the
vessel
in
which
I
was
,
the
wind
that
blew
me
from
the
detested
shore
of
Ireland
,
and
the
sea
which
surrounded
me
told
me
too
forcibly
that
I
was
deceived
by
no
vision
and
that
Clerval
,
my
friend
and
dearest
companion
,
had
fallen
a
victim
to
me
and
the
monster
of
my
creation
.
I
repassed
,
in
my
memory
,
my
whole
life
--
my
quiet
happiness
while
residing
with
my
family
in
Geneva
,
the
death
of
my
mother
,
and
my
departure
for
Ingolstadt
.
I
remembered
,
shuddering
,
the
mad
enthusiasm
that
hurried
me
on
to
the
creation
of
my
hideous
enemy
,
and
I
called
to
mind
the
night
in
which
he
first
lived
.
I
was
unable
to
pursue
the
train
of
thought
;
a
thousand
feelings
pressed
upon
me
,
and
I
wept
bitterly
.
Ever
since
my
recovery
from
the
fever
I
had
been
in
the
custom
of
taking
every
night
a
small
quantity
of
laudanum
,
for
it
was
by
means
of
this
drug
only
that
I
was
enabled
to
gain
the
rest
necessary
for
the
preservation
of
life
.
Oppressed
by
the
recollection
of
my
various
misfortunes
,
I
now
swallowed
double
my
usual
quantity
and
soon
slept
profoundly
.
But
sleep
did
not
afford
me
respite
from
thought
and
misery
;
my
dreams
presented
a
thousand
objects
that
scared
me
.
Towards
morning
I
was
possessed
by
a
kind
of
nightmare
;
I
felt
the
fiend
's
grasp
in
my
neck
and
could
not
free
myself
from
it
;
groans
and
cries
rang
in
my
ears
.
My
father
,
who
was
watching
over
me
,
perceiving
my
restlessness
,
awoke
me
;
the
dashing
waves
were
around
,
the
cloudy
sky
above
,
the
fiend
was
not
here
:
a
sense
of
security
,
a
feeling
that
a
truce
was
established
between
the
present
hour
and
the
irresistible
,
disastrous
future
imparted
to
me
a
kind
of
calm
forgetfulness
,
of
which
the
human
mind
is
by
its
structure
peculiarly
susceptible
.
