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541
These
were
wild
and
miserable
thoughts
,
but
I
can
not
describe
to
you
how
the
eternal
twinkling
of
the
stars
weighed
upon
me
and
how
I
listened
to
every
blast
of
wind
as
if
it
were
a
dull
ugly
siroc
on
its
way
to
consume
me
.
542
Morning
dawned
before
I
arrived
at
the
village
of
Chamounix
;
I
took
no
rest
,
but
returned
immediately
to
Geneva
.
Even
in
my
own
heart
I
could
give
no
expression
to
my
sensations
--
they
weighed
on
me
with
a
mountain
's
weight
and
their
excess
destroyed
my
agony
beneath
them
.
Thus
I
returned
home
,
and
entering
the
house
,
presented
myself
to
the
family
.
My
haggard
and
wild
appearance
awoke
intense
alarm
,
but
I
answered
no
question
,
scarcely
did
I
speak
.
I
felt
as
if
I
were
placed
under
a
ban
--
as
if
I
had
no
right
to
claim
their
sympathies
--
as
if
never
more
might
I
enjoy
companionship
with
them
.
Yet
even
thus
I
loved
them
to
adoration
;
and
to
save
them
,
I
resolved
to
dedicate
myself
to
my
most
abhorred
task
.
The
prospect
of
such
an
occupation
made
every
other
circumstance
of
existence
pass
before
me
like
a
dream
,
and
that
thought
only
had
to
me
the
reality
of
life
.
543
Day
after
day
,
week
after
week
,
passed
away
on
my
return
to
Geneva
;
and
I
could
not
collect
the
courage
to
recommence
my
work
.
I
feared
the
vengeance
of
the
disappointed
fiend
,
yet
I
was
unable
to
overcome
my
repugnance
to
the
task
which
was
enjoined
me
.
I
found
that
I
could
not
compose
a
female
without
again
devoting
several
months
to
profound
study
and
laborious
disquisition
.
I
had
heard
of
some
discoveries
having
been
made
by
an
English
philosopher
,
the
knowledge
of
which
was
material
to
my
success
,
and
I
sometimes
thought
of
obtaining
my
father
's
consent
to
visit
England
for
this
purpose
;
but
I
clung
to
every
pretence
of
delay
and
shrank
from
taking
the
first
step
in
an
undertaking
whose
immediate
necessity
began
to
appear
less
absolute
to
me
.
A
change
indeed
had
taken
place
in
me
;
my
health
,
which
had
hitherto
declined
,
was
now
much
restored
;
and
my
spirits
,
when
unchecked
by
the
memory
of
my
unhappy
promise
,
rose
proportionably
.
My
father
saw
this
change
with
pleasure
,
and
he
turned
his
thoughts
towards
the
best
method
of
eradicating
the
remains
of
my
melancholy
,
which
every
now
and
then
would
return
by
fits
,
and
with
a
devouring
blackness
overcast
the
approaching
sunshine
.
At
these
moments
I
took
refuge
in
the
most
perfect
solitude
.
I
passed
whole
days
on
the
lake
alone
in
a
little
boat
,
watching
the
clouds
and
listening
to
the
rippling
of
the
waves
,
silent
and
listless
.
But
the
fresh
air
and
bright
sun
seldom
failed
to
restore
me
to
some
degree
of
composure
,
and
on
my
return
I
met
the
salutations
of
my
friends
with
a
readier
smile
and
a
more
cheerful
heart
.
Отключить рекламу
544
It
was
after
my
return
from
one
of
these
rambles
that
my
father
,
calling
me
aside
,
thus
addressed
me
,
545
"
I
am
happy
to
remark
,
my
dear
son
,
that
you
have
resumed
your
former
pleasures
and
seem
to
be
returning
to
yourself
.
And
yet
you
are
still
unhappy
and
still
avoid
our
society
.
546
For
some
time
I
was
lost
in
conjecture
as
to
the
cause
of
this
,
but
yesterday
an
idea
struck
me
,
and
if
it
is
well
founded
,
I
conjure
you
to
avow
it
.
Reserve
on
such
a
point
would
be
not
only
useless
,
but
draw
down
treble
misery
on
us
all
.
"
547
I
trembled
violently
at
his
exordium
,
and
my
father
continued
--
"
I
confess
,
my
son
,
that
I
have
always
looked
forward
to
your
marriage
with
our
dear
Elizabeth
as
the
tie
of
our
domestic
comfort
and
the
stay
of
my
declining
years
.
You
were
attached
to
each
other
from
your
earliest
infancy
;
you
studied
together
,
and
appeared
,
in
dispositions
and
tastes
,
entirely
suited
to
one
another
.
But
so
blind
is
the
experience
of
man
that
what
I
conceived
to
be
the
best
assistants
to
my
plan
may
have
entirely
destroyed
it
.
You
,
perhaps
,
regard
her
as
your
sister
,
without
any
wish
that
she
might
become
your
wife
.
Nay
,
you
may
have
met
with
another
whom
you
may
love
;
and
considering
yourself
as
bound
in
honour
to
Elizabeth
,
this
struggle
may
occasion
the
poignant
misery
which
you
appear
to
feel
.
"
Отключить рекламу
548
"
My
dear
father
,
reassure
yourself
.
I
love
my
cousin
tenderly
and
sincerely
.
I
never
saw
any
woman
who
excited
,
as
Elizabeth
does
,
my
warmest
admiration
and
affection
.
My
future
hopes
and
prospects
are
entirely
bound
up
in
the
expectation
of
our
union
.
"
549
"
The
expression
of
your
sentiments
of
this
subject
,
my
dear
Victor
,
gives
me
more
pleasure
than
I
have
for
some
time
experienced
.
If
you
feel
thus
,
we
shall
assuredly
be
happy
,
however
present
events
may
cast
a
gloom
over
us
.
But
it
is
this
gloom
which
appears
to
have
taken
so
strong
a
hold
of
your
mind
that
I
wish
to
dissipate
.
Tell
me
,
therefore
,
whether
you
object
to
an
immediate
solemnization
of
the
marriage
.
We
have
been
unfortunate
,
and
recent
events
have
drawn
us
from
that
everyday
tranquillity
befitting
my
years
and
infirmities
.
550
You
are
younger
;
yet
l
do
not
suppose
,
possessed
as
you
are
of
a
competent
fortune
,
that
an
early
marriage
would
at
all
interfere
with
any
future
plans
of
honour
and
utility
that
you
may
have
formed
.
Do
not
suppose
,
however
,
that
I
wish
to
dictate
happiness
to
you
or
that
a
delay
on
your
part
would
cause
me
any
serious
uneasiness
.
Interpret
my
words
with
candour
and
answer
me
,
I
conjure
you
,
with
confidence
and
sincerity
.
"