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"
I
endeavoured
to
crush
these
fears
and
to
fortify
myself
for
the
trial
which
in
a
few
months
I
resolved
to
undergo
;
and
sometimes
I
allowed
my
thoughts
,
unchecked
by
reason
,
to
ramble
in
the
fields
of
Paradise
,
and
dared
to
fancy
amiable
and
lovely
creatures
sympathizing
with
my
feelings
and
cheering
my
gloom
;
their
angelic
countenances
breathed
smiles
of
consolation
.
But
it
was
all
a
dream
;
no
Eve
soothed
my
sorrows
nor
shared
my
thoughts
;
I
was
alone
.
I
remembered
Adam
's
supplication
to
his
Creator
.
But
where
was
mine
?
He
had
abandoned
me
,
and
in
the
bitterness
of
my
heart
I
cursed
him
.
"
Autumn
passed
thus
.
I
saw
,
with
surprise
and
grief
,
the
leaves
decay
and
fall
,
and
nature
again
assume
the
barren
and
bleak
appearance
it
had
worn
when
I
first
beheld
the
woods
and
the
lovely
moon
.
Yet
I
did
not
heed
the
bleakness
of
the
weather
;
I
was
better
fitted
by
my
conformation
for
the
endurance
of
cold
than
heat
.
But
my
chief
delights
were
the
sight
of
the
flowers
,
the
birds
,
and
all
the
gay
apparel
of
summer
;
when
those
deserted
me
,
I
turned
with
more
attention
towards
the
cottagers
.
Their
happiness
was
not
decreased
by
the
absence
of
summer
.
They
loved
and
sympathized
with
one
another
;
and
their
joys
,
depending
on
each
other
,
were
not
interrupted
by
the
casualties
that
took
place
around
them
.
The
more
I
saw
of
them
,
the
greater
became
my
desire
to
claim
their
protection
and
kindness
;
my
heart
yearned
to
be
known
and
loved
by
these
amiable
creatures
;
to
see
their
sweet
looks
directed
towards
me
with
affection
was
the
utmost
limit
of
my
ambition
.
I
dared
not
think
that
they
would
turn
them
from
me
with
disdain
and
horror
.
The
poor
that
stopped
at
their
door
were
never
driven
away
.
I
asked
,
it
is
true
,
for
greater
treasures
than
a
little
food
or
rest
:
I
required
kindness
and
sympathy
;
but
I
did
not
believe
myself
utterly
unworthy
of
it
.
"
The
winter
advanced
,
and
an
entire
revolution
of
the
seasons
had
taken
place
since
I
awoke
into
life
.
My
attention
at
this
time
was
solely
directed
towards
my
plan
of
introducing
myself
into
the
cottage
of
my
protectors
.
I
revolved
many
projects
,
but
that
on
which
I
finally
fixed
was
to
enter
the
dwelling
when
the
blind
old
man
should
be
alone
.
I
had
sagacity
enough
to
discover
that
the
unnatural
hideousness
of
my
person
was
the
chief
object
of
horror
with
those
who
had
formerly
beheld
me
.
My
voice
,
although
harsh
,
had
nothing
terrible
in
it
;
I
thought
,
therefore
,
that
if
in
the
absence
of
his
children
I
could
gain
the
good
will
and
mediation
of
the
old
De
Lacey
,
I
might
by
his
means
be
tolerated
by
my
younger
protectors
.
"
One
day
,
when
the
sun
shone
on
the
red
leaves
that
strewed
the
ground
and
diffused
cheerfulness
,
although
it
denied
warmth
,
Safie
,
Agatha
,
and
Felix
departed
on
a
long
country
walk
,
and
the
old
man
,
at
his
own
desire
,
was
left
alone
in
the
cottage
.
When
his
children
had
departed
,
he
took
up
his
guitar
and
played
several
mournful
but
sweet
airs
,
more
sweet
and
mournful
than
I
had
ever
heard
him
play
before
.
At
first
his
countenance
was
illuminated
with
pleasure
,
but
as
he
continued
,
thoughtfulness
and
sadness
succeeded
;
at
length
,
laying
aside
the
instrument
,
he
sat
absorbed
in
reflection
.
"
My
heart
beat
quick
;
this
was
the
hour
and
moment
of
trial
,
which
would
decide
my
hopes
or
realize
my
fears
.
The
servants
were
gone
to
a
neighbouring
fair
.
All
was
silent
in
and
around
the
cottage
;
it
was
an
excellent
opportunity
;
yet
,
when
I
proceeded
to
execute
my
plan
,
my
limbs
failed
me
and
I
sank
to
the
ground
.
Again
I
rose
,
and
exerting
all
the
firmness
of
which
I
was
master
,
removed
the
planks
which
I
had
placed
before
my
hovel
to
conceal
my
retreat
.
The
fresh
air
revived
me
,
and
with
renewed
determination
I
approached
the
door
of
their
cottage
.
"
I
knocked
.
'
Who
is
there
?
'
said
the
old
man
.
'
Come
in
.
'
"
I
entered
.
'
Pardon
this
intrusion
,
'
said
I
;
'
I
am
a
traveller
in
want
of
a
little
rest
;
you
would
greatly
oblige
me
if
you
would
allow
me
to
remain
a
few
minutes
before
the
fire
.
'
"
'
Enter
,
'
said
De
Lacey
,
'
and
I
will
try
in
what
manner
I
can
to
relieve
your
wants
;
but
,
unfortunately
,
my
children
are
from
home
,
and
as
I
am
blind
,
I
am
afraid
I
shall
find
it
difficult
to
procure
food
for
you
.
'
"
'
Do
not
trouble
yourself
,
my
kind
host
;
I
have
food
;
it
is
warmth
and
rest
only
that
I
need
.
'
