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- Мэри Шелли
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- Стр. 42/86
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"
I
can
not
describe
to
you
the
agony
that
these
reflections
inflicted
upon
me
;
I
tried
to
dispel
them
,
but
sorrow
only
increased
with
knowledge
.
Oh
,
that
I
had
forever
remained
in
my
native
wood
,
nor
known
nor
felt
beyond
the
sensations
of
hunger
,
thirst
,
and
heat
!
"
Of
what
a
strange
nature
is
knowledge
!
It
clings
to
the
mind
when
it
has
once
seized
on
it
like
a
lichen
on
the
rock
.
I
wished
sometimes
to
shake
off
all
thought
and
feeling
,
but
I
learned
that
there
was
but
one
means
to
overcome
the
sensation
of
pain
,
and
that
was
death
--
a
state
which
I
feared
yet
did
not
understand
.
I
admired
virtue
and
good
feelings
and
loved
the
gentle
manners
and
amiable
qualities
of
my
cottagers
,
but
I
was
shut
out
from
intercourse
with
them
,
except
through
means
which
I
obtained
by
stealth
,
when
I
was
unseen
and
unknown
,
and
which
rather
increased
than
satisfied
the
desire
I
had
of
becoming
one
among
my
fellows
.
The
gentle
words
of
Agatha
and
the
animated
smiles
of
the
charming
Arabian
were
not
for
me
.
The
mild
exhortations
of
the
old
man
and
the
lively
conversation
of
the
loved
Felix
were
not
for
me
.
Miserable
,
unhappy
wretch
!
"
Other
lessons
were
impressed
upon
me
even
more
deeply
.
I
heard
of
the
difference
of
sexes
,
and
the
birth
and
growth
of
children
,
how
the
father
doted
on
the
smiles
of
the
infant
,
and
the
lively
sallies
of
the
older
child
,
how
all
the
life
and
cares
of
the
mother
were
wrapped
up
in
the
precious
charge
,
how
the
mind
of
youth
expanded
and
gained
knowledge
,
of
brother
,
sister
,
and
all
the
various
relationships
which
bind
one
human
being
to
another
in
mutual
bonds
.
"
But
where
were
my
friends
and
relations
?
No
father
had
watched
my
infant
days
,
no
mother
had
blessed
me
with
smiles
and
caresses
;
or
if
they
had
,
all
my
past
life
was
now
a
blot
,
a
blind
vacancy
in
which
I
distinguished
nothing
.
From
my
earliest
remembrance
I
had
been
as
I
then
was
in
height
and
proportion
.
I
had
never
yet
seen
a
being
resembling
me
or
who
claimed
any
intercourse
with
me
.
What
was
I
?
The
question
again
recurred
,
to
be
answered
only
with
groans
.
"
I
will
soon
explain
to
what
these
feelings
tended
,
but
allow
me
now
to
return
to
the
cottagers
,
whose
story
excited
in
me
such
various
feelings
of
indignation
,
delight
,
and
wonder
,
but
which
all
terminated
in
additional
love
and
reverence
for
my
protectors
(
for
so
I
loved
,
in
an
innocent
,
half-painful
self-deceit
,
to
call
them
)
.
"
Some
time
elapsed
before
I
learned
the
history
of
my
friends
.
It
was
one
which
could
not
fail
to
impress
itself
deeply
on
my
mind
,
unfolding
as
it
did
a
number
of
circumstances
,
each
interesting
and
wonderful
to
one
so
utterly
inexperienced
as
I
was
.
"
The
name
of
the
old
man
was
De
Lacey
.
He
was
descended
from
a
good
family
in
France
,
where
he
had
lived
for
many
years
in
affluence
,
respected
by
his
superiors
and
beloved
by
his
equals
.
His
son
was
bred
in
the
service
of
his
country
,
and
Agatha
had
ranked
with
ladies
of
the
highest
distinction
.
A
few
months
before
my
arrival
they
had
lived
in
a
large
and
luxurious
city
called
Paris
,
surrounded
by
friends
and
possessed
of
every
enjoyment
which
virtue
,
refinement
of
intellect
,
or
taste
,
accompanied
by
a
moderate
fortune
,
could
afford
.
"
The
father
of
Safie
had
been
the
cause
of
their
ruin
.
He
was
a
Turkish
merchant
and
had
inhabited
Paris
for
many
years
,
when
,
for
some
reason
which
I
could
not
learn
,
he
became
obnoxious
to
the
government
.
He
was
seized
and
cast
into
prison
the
very
day
that
Safie
arrived
from
Constantinople
to
join
him
.
He
was
tried
and
condemned
to
death
.
The
injustice
of
his
sentence
was
very
flagrant
;
all
Paris
was
indignant
;
and
it
was
judged
that
his
religion
and
wealth
rather
than
the
crime
alleged
against
him
had
been
the
cause
of
his
condemnation
.
"
Felix
had
accidentally
been
present
at
the
trial
;
his
horror
and
indignation
were
uncontrollable
when
he
heard
the
decision
of
the
court
.
He
made
,
at
that
moment
,
a
solemn
vow
to
deliver
him
and
then
looked
around
for
the
means
.
After
many
fruitless
attempts
to
gain
admittance
to
the
prison
,
he
found
a
strongly
grated
window
in
an
unguarded
part
of
the
building
,
which
lighted
the
dungeon
of
the
unfortunate
Muhammadan
,
who
,
loaded
with
chains
,
waited
in
despair
the
execution
of
the
barbarous
sentence
.
