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I
feel
exquisite
pleasure
in
dwelling
on
the
recollections
of
childhood
,
before
misfortune
had
tainted
my
mind
and
changed
its
bright
visions
of
extensive
usefulness
into
gloomy
and
narrow
reflections
upon
self
.
Besides
,
in
drawing
the
picture
of
my
early
days
,
I
also
record
those
events
which
led
,
by
insensible
steps
,
to
my
after
tale
of
misery
,
for
when
I
would
account
to
myself
for
the
birth
of
that
passion
which
afterwards
ruled
my
destiny
I
find
it
arise
,
like
a
mountain
river
,
from
ignoble
and
almost
forgotten
sources
;
but
,
swelling
as
it
proceeded
,
it
became
the
torrent
which
,
in
its
course
,
has
swept
away
all
my
hopes
and
joys
.
Natural
philosophy
is
the
genius
that
has
regulated
my
fate
;
I
desire
,
therefore
,
in
this
narration
,
to
state
those
facts
which
led
to
my
predilection
for
that
science
.
When
I
was
thirteen
years
of
age
we
all
went
on
a
party
of
pleasure
to
the
baths
near
Thonon
;
the
inclemency
of
the
weather
obliged
us
to
remain
a
day
confined
to
the
inn
.
In
this
house
I
chanced
to
find
a
volume
of
the
works
of
Cornelius
Agrippa
.
I
opened
it
with
apathy
;
the
theory
which
he
attempts
to
demonstrate
and
the
wonderful
facts
which
he
relates
soon
changed
this
feeling
into
enthusiasm
.
A
new
light
seemed
to
dawn
upon
my
mind
,
and
bounding
with
joy
,
I
communicated
my
discovery
to
my
father
.
My
father
looked
carelessly
at
the
title
page
of
my
book
and
said
,
"
Ah
!
Cornelius
Agrippa
!
My
dear
Victor
,
do
not
waste
your
time
upon
this
;
it
is
sad
trash
.
"
If
,
instead
of
this
remark
,
my
father
had
taken
the
pains
to
explain
to
me
that
the
principles
of
Agrippa
had
been
entirely
exploded
and
that
a
modern
system
of
science
had
been
introduced
which
possessed
much
greater
powers
than
the
ancient
,
because
the
powers
of
the
latter
were
chimerical
,
while
those
of
the
former
were
real
and
practical
,
under
such
circumstances
I
should
certainty
have
thrown
Agrippa
aside
and
have
contented
my
imagination
,
warmed
as
it
was
,
by
returning
with
greater
ardour
to
my
former
studies
.
It
is
even
possible
that
the
train
of
my
ideas
would
never
have
received
the
fatal
impulse
that
led
to
my
ruin
.
But
the
cursory
glance
my
father
had
taken
of
my
volume
by
no
means
assured
me
that
he
was
acquainted
with
its
contents
,
and
I
continued
to
read
with
the
greatest
avidity
.
When
I
returned
home
my
first
care
was
to
procure
the
whole
works
of
this
author
,
and
afterwards
of
Paracelsus
and
Albertus
Magnus
.
I
read
and
studied
the
wild
fancies
of
these
writers
with
delight
;
they
appeared
to
me
treasures
known
to
few
besides
myself
.
I
have
described
myself
as
always
having
been
imbued
with
a
fervent
longing
to
penetrate
the
secrets
of
nature
.
In
spite
of
the
intense
labour
and
wonderful
discoveries
of
modern
philosophers
,
I
always
came
from
my
studies
discontented
and
unsatisfied
.
Sir
Isaac
Newton
is
said
to
have
avowed
that
he
felt
like
a
child
picking
up
shells
beside
the
great
and
unexplored
ocean
of
truth
.
Those
of
his
successors
in
each
branch
of
natural
philosophy
with
whom
I
was
acquainted
appeared
even
to
my
boy
's
apprehensions
as
tyros
engaged
in
the
same
pursuit
.
The
untaught
peasant
beheld
the
elements
around
him
and
was
acquainted
with
their
practical
uses
.
The
most
learned
philosopher
knew
little
more
.
He
had
partially
unveiled
the
face
of
Nature
,
but
her
immortal
lineaments
were
still
a
wonder
and
a
mystery
.
He
might
dissect
,
anatomize
,
and
give
names
;
but
,
not
to
speak
of
a
final
cause
,
causes
in
their
secondary
and
tertiary
grades
were
utterly
unknown
to
him
.
I
had
gazed
upon
the
fortifications
and
impediments
that
seemed
to
keep
human
beings
from
entering
the
citadel
of
nature
,
and
rashly
and
ignorantly
I
had
repined
.
But
here
were
books
,
and
here
were
men
who
had
penetrated
deeper
and
knew
more
.
I
took
their
word
for
all
that
they
averred
,
and
I
became
their
disciple
.
It
may
appear
strange
that
such
should
arise
in
the
eighteenth
century
;
but
while
I
followed
the
routine
of
education
in
the
schools
of
Geneva
,
I
was
,
to
a
great
degree
,
self-taught
with
regard
to
my
favourite
studies
.
My
father
was
not
scientific
,
and
I
was
left
to
struggle
with
a
child
's
blindness
,
added
to
a
student
's
thirst
for
knowledge
.
Under
the
guidance
of
my
new
preceptors
I
entered
with
the
greatest
diligence
into
the
search
of
the
philosopher
's
stone
and
the
elixir
of
life
;
but
the
latter
soon
obtained
my
undivided
attention
.
Wealth
was
an
inferior
object
,
but
what
glory
would
attend
the
discovery
if
I
could
banish
disease
from
the
human
frame
and
render
man
invulnerable
to
any
but
a
violent
death
!
Nor
were
these
my
only
visions
.
The
raising
of
ghosts
or
devils
was
a
promise
liberally
accorded
by
my
favourite
authors
,
the
fulfillment
of
which
I
most
eagerly
sought
;
and
if
my
incantations
were
always
unsuccessful
,
I
attributed
the
failure
rather
to
my
own
inexperience
and
mistake
than
to
a
want
of
skill
or
fidelity
in
my
instructors
.
And
thus
for
a
time
I
was
occupied
by
exploded
systems
,
mingling
,
like
an
unadept
,
a
thousand
contradictory
theories
and
floundering
desperately
in
a
very
slough
of
multifarious
knowledge
,
guided
by
an
ardent
imagination
and
childish
reasoning
,
till
an
accident
again
changed
the
current
of
my
ideas
.
When
I
was
about
fifteen
years
old
we
had
retired
to
our
house
near
Belrive
,
when
we
witnessed
a
most
violent
and
terrible
thunderstorm
.
It
advanced
from
behind
the
mountains
of
Jura
,
and
the
thunder
burst
at
once
with
frightful
loudness
from
various
quarters
of
the
heavens
.
I
remained
,
while
the
storm
lasted
,
watching
its
progress
with
curiosity
and
delight
.
As
I
stood
at
the
door
,
on
a
sudden
I
beheld
a
stream
of
fire
issue
from
an
old
and
beautiful
oak
which
stood
about
twenty
yards
from
our
house
;
and
so
soon
as
the
dazzling
light
vanished
,
the
oak
had
disappeared
,
and
nothing
remained
but
a
blasted
stump
.
When
we
visited
it
the
next
morning
,
we
found
the
tree
shattered
in
a
singular
manner
.
It
was
not
splintered
by
the
shock
,
but
entirely
reduced
to
thin
ribbons
of
wood
.
I
never
beheld
anything
so
utterly
destroyed
.
Before
this
I
was
not
unacquainted
with
the
more
obvious
laws
of
electricity
.
On
this
occasion
a
man
of
great
research
in
natural
philosophy
was
with
us
,
and
excited
by
this
catastrophe
,
he
entered
on
the
explanation
of
a
theory
which
he
had
formed
on
the
subject
of
electricity
and
galvanism
,
which
was
at
once
new
and
astonishing
to
me
.
All
that
he
said
threw
greatly
into
the
shade
Cornelius
Agrippa
,
Albertus
Magnus
,
and
Paracelsus
,
the
lords
of
my
imagination
;
but
by
some
fatality
the
overthrow
of
these
men
disinclined
me
to
pursue
my
accustomed
studies
.
It
seemed
to
me
as
if
nothing
would
or
could
ever
be
known
.
All
that
had
so
long
engaged
my
attention
suddenly
grew
despicable
.
By
one
of
those
caprices
of
the
mind
which
we
are
perhaps
most
subject
to
in
early
youth
,
I
at
once
gave
up
my
former
occupations
,
set
down
natural
history
and
all
its
progeny
as
a
deformed
and
abortive
creation
,
and
entertained
the
greatest
disdain
for
a
would-be
science
which
could
never
even
step
within
the
threshold
of
real
knowledge
.
In
this
mood
of
mind
I
betook
myself
to
the
mathematics
and
the
branches
of
study
appertaining
to
that
science
as
being
built
upon
secure
foundations
,
and
so
worthy
of
my
consideration
.
Thus
strangely
are
our
souls
constructed
,
and
by
such
slight
ligaments
are
we
bound
to
prosperity
or
ruin
.
When
I
look
back
,
it
seems
to
me
as
if
this
almost
miraculous
change
of
inclination
and
will
was
the
immediate
suggestion
of
the
guardian
angel
of
my
life
--
the
last
effort
made
by
the
spirit
of
preservation
to
avert
the
storm
that
was
even
then
hanging
in
the
stars
and
ready
to
envelop
me
.
Her
victory
was
announced
by
an
unusual
tranquillity
and
gladness
of
soul
which
followed
the
relinquishing
of
my
ancient
and
latterly
tormenting
studies
.
It
was
thus
that
I
was
to
be
taught
to
associate
evil
with
their
prosecution
,
happiness
with
their
disregard
.
It
was
a
strong
effort
of
the
spirit
of
good
,
but
it
was
ineffectual
.
Destiny
was
too
potent
,
and
her
immutable
laws
had
decreed
my
utter
and
terrible
destruction
.
When
I
had
attained
the
age
of
seventeen
my
parents
resolved
that
I
should
become
a
student
at
the
university
of
Ingolstadt
.
I
had
hitherto
attended
the
schools
of
Geneva
,
but
my
father
thought
it
necessary
for
the
completion
of
my
education
that
I
should
be
made
acquainted
with
other
customs
than
those
of
my
native
country
.
My
departure
was
therefore
fixed
at
an
early
date
,
but
before
the
day
resolved
upon
could
arrive
,
the
first
misfortune
of
my
life
occurred
--
an
omen
,
as
it
were
,
of
my
future
misery
.
Elizabeth
had
caught
the
scarlet
fever
;
her
illness
was
severe
,
and
she
was
in
the
greatest
danger
.
During
her
illness
many
arguments
had
been
urged
to
persuade
my
mother
to
refrain
from
attending
upon
her
.
She
had
at
first
yielded
to
our
entreaties
,
but
when
she
heard
that
the
life
of
her
favourite
was
menaced
,
she
could
no
longer
control
her
anxiety
.
She
attended
her
sickbed
;
her
watchful
attentions
triumphed
over
the
malignity
of
the
distemper
--
Elizabeth
was
saved
,
but
the
consequences
of
this
imprudence
were
fatal
to
her
preserver
.
On
the
third
day
my
mother
sickened
;
her
fever
was
accompanied
by
the
most
alarming
symptoms
,
and
the
looks
of
her
medical
attendants
prognosticated
the
worst
event
.
On
her
deathbed
the
fortitude
and
benignity
of
this
best
of
women
did
not
desert
her
.
She
joined
the
hands
of
Elizabeth
and
myself
.
"
My
children
,
"
she
said
,
"
my
firmest
hopes
of
future
happiness
were
placed
on
the
prospect
of
your
union
.
This
expectation
will
now
be
the
consolation
of
your
father
.
Elizabeth
,
my
love
,
you
must
supply
my
place
to
my
younger
children
.
Alas
!
I
regret
that
I
am
taken
from
you
;
and
,
happy
and
beloved
as
I
have
been
,
is
it
not
hard
to
quit
you
all
?
But
these
are
not
thoughts
befitting
me
;
I
will
endeavour
to
resign
myself
cheerfully
to
death
and
will
indulge
a
hope
of
meeting
you
in
another
world
.
"
