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Why
--
why
--
it
had
been
Ashley
in
the
wintry
,
windswept
orchard
at
Tara
,
talking
of
life
and
shadow
shows
with
a
tired
calmness
that
had
more
finality
in
its
timbre
than
any
desperate
bitterness
could
have
revealed
.
Even
as
Ashley
's
voice
then
had
turned
her
cold
with
dread
of
things
she
could
not
understand
,
so
now
Rhett
's
voice
made
her
heart
sink
.
His
voice
,
his
manner
,
more
than
the
content
of
his
words
,
disturbed
her
,
made
her
realize
that
her
pleasurable
excitement
of
a
few
moments
ago
had
been
untimely
.
Something
was
wrong
,
badly
wrong
.
What
it
was
she
did
not
know
but
she
listened
desperately
,
her
eyes
on
his
brown
face
,
hoping
to
hear
words
that
would
dissipate
her
fears
.
"
It
was
so
obvious
that
we
were
meant
for
each
other
.
So
obvious
that
I
was
the
only
man
of
your
acquaintance
who
could
love
you
after
knowing
you
as
you
really
are
--
hard
and
greedy
and
unscrupulous
,
like
me
.
I
loved
you
and
I
took
the
chance
.
I
thought
Ashley
would
fade
out
of
your
mind
.
But
,
"
he
shrugged
,
"
I
tried
everything
I
knew
and
nothing
worked
.
And
I
loved
you
so
,
Scarlett
.
If
you
had
only
let
me
,
I
could
have
loved
you
as
gently
and
as
tenderly
as
ever
a
man
loved
a
woman
.
But
I
could
n't
let
you
know
,
for
I
knew
you
'd
think
me
weak
and
try
to
use
my
love
against
me
.
And
always
--
always
there
was
Ashley
.
It
drove
me
crazy
.
I
could
n't
sit
across
the
table
from
you
every
night
,
knowing
you
wished
Ashley
was
sitting
there
in
my
place
.
And
I
could
n't
hold
you
in
my
arms
at
night
and
know
that
--
well
,
it
does
n't
matter
now
.
I
wonder
,
now
,
why
it
hurt
.
That
's
what
drove
me
to
Belle
.
There
is
a
certain
swinish
comfort
in
being
with
a
woman
who
loves
you
utterly
and
respects
you
for
being
a
fine
gentleman
--
even
if
she
is
an
illiterate
whore
.
It
soothed
my
vanity
.
You
've
never
been
very
soothing
,
my
dear
.
"
"
Oh
,
Rhett
...
"
she
began
,
miserable
at
the
very
mention
of
Belle
's
name
,
but
he
waved
her
to
silence
and
went
on
.
"
And
then
,
that
night
when
I
carried
you
upstairs
--
I
thought
--
I
hoped
--
I
hoped
so
much
I
was
afraid
to
face
you
the
next
morning
,
for
fear
I
'd
been
mistaken
and
you
did
n't
love
me
.
I
was
so
afraid
you
'd
laugh
at
me
I
went
off
and
got
drunk
.
And
when
I
came
back
,
I
was
shaking
in
my
boots
and
if
you
had
come
even
halfway
to
meet
me
,
had
given
me
some
sign
,
I
think
I
'd
have
kissed
your
feet
.
But
you
did
n't
.
"
"
Oh
,
but
Rhett
,
I
did
want
you
then
but
you
were
so
nasty
!
I
did
want
you
!
I
think
--
yes
,
that
must
have
been
when
I
first
knew
I
cared
about
you
.
Ashley
--
I
never
was
happy
about
Ashley
after
that
,
but
you
were
so
nasty
that
I
--
"
"
Oh
,
well
,
"
he
said
.
"
It
seems
we
've
been
at
cross
purposes
,
does
n't
it
?
But
it
does
n't
matter
now
.
I
'm
only
telling
you
,
so
you
wo
n't
ever
wonder
about
it
all
.
When
you
were
sick
and
it
was
all
my
fault
,
I
stood
outside
your
door
,
hoping
you
'd
call
for
me
,
but
you
did
n't
,
and
then
I
knew
what
a
fool
I
'd
been
and
that
it
was
all
over
.
"
He
stopped
and
looked
through
her
and
beyond
her
,
even
as
Ashley
had
often
done
,
seeing
something
she
could
not
see
.
And
she
could
only
stare
speechless
at
his
brooding
face
.
"
But
then
,
there
was
Bonnie
and
I
saw
that
everything
was
n't
over
,
after
all
.
I
liked
to
think
that
Bonnie
was
you
,
a
little
girl
again
,
before
the
war
and
poverty
had
done
things
to
you
.
She
was
so
like
you
,
so
willful
,
so
brave
and
gay
and
full
of
high
spirits
,
and
I
could
pet
her
and
spoil
her
--
just
as
I
wanted
to
pet
you
.
But
she
was
n't
like
you
--
she
loved
me
.
It
was
a
blessing
that
I
could
take
the
love
you
did
n't
want
and
give
it
to
her
...
When
she
went
,
she
took
everything
.
"
