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- Маргарет Митчелл
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- Стр. 856/927
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"
And
I
was
drunk
and
insane
and
I
wanted
to
hurt
her
--
because
she
had
hurt
me
.
I
wanted
to
--
and
I
did
--
but
she
did
n't
want
me
.
She
's
never
wanted
me
.
She
never
has
and
I
tried
--
I
tried
so
hard
and
--
"
"
Oh
,
please
!
"
"
And
I
did
n't
know
about
this
baby
till
the
other
day
--
when
she
fell
.
She
did
n't
know
where
I
was
to
write
to
me
and
tell
me
--
but
she
would
n't
have
written
me
if
she
had
known
.
I
tell
you
--
I
tell
you
I
'd
have
come
straight
home
--
if
I
'd
only
known
--
whether
she
wanted
me
home
or
not
...
"
"
Oh
,
yes
,
I
know
you
would
!
"
"
God
,
I
've
been
crazy
these
weeks
,
crazy
and
drunk
!
And
when
she
told
me
,
there
on
the
steps
--
what
did
I
do
?
What
did
I
say
?
I
laughed
and
said
:
'
Cheer
up
.
Maybe
you
'll
have
a
miscarriage
.
'
And
she
--
"
Melanie
suddenly
went
white
and
her
eyes
widened
with
horror
as
she
looked
down
at
the
black
tormented
head
writhing
in
her
lap
.
The
afternoon
sun
streamed
in
through
the
open
window
and
suddenly
she
saw
,
as
for
the
first
time
,
how
large
and
brown
and
strong
his
hands
were
and
how
thickly
the
black
hairs
grew
along
the
backs
of
them
.
Involuntarily
,
she
recoiled
from
them
.
They
seemed
so
predatory
,
so
ruthless
and
yet
,
twined
in
her
skirt
,
so
broken
,
so
helpless
.
Could
it
be
possible
that
he
had
heard
and
believed
the
preposterous
lie
about
Scarlett
and
Ashley
and
become
jealous
?
True
,
he
had
left
town
immediately
after
the
scandal
broke
but
--
No
,
it
could
n't
be
that
.
Captain
Butler
was
always
going
off
abruptly
on
journeys
.
He
could
n't
have
believed
the
gossip
.
He
was
too
sensible
.
If
that
had
been
the
cause
of
the
trouble
,
would
n't
he
have
tried
to
shoot
Ashley
?
Or
at
least
demanded
an
explanation
?
No
,
it
could
n't
be
that
.
It
was
only
that
he
was
drunk
and
sick
from
strain
and
his
mind
was
running
wild
,
like
a
man
delirious
,
babbling
wild
fantasies
.
Men
could
n't
stand
strains
as
well
as
women
.
Something
had
upset
him
,
perhaps
he
had
had
a
small
quarrel
with
Scarlett
and
magnified
it
.
Perhaps
some
of
the
awful
things
he
said
were
true
.
But
all
of
them
could
not
be
true
.
Oh
,
not
that
last
,
certainly
!
No
man
could
say
such
a
thing
to
a
woman
he
loved
as
passionately
as
this
man
loved
Scarlett
.
Melanie
had
never
seen
evil
,
never
seen
cruelty
,
and
now
that
she
looked
on
them
for
the
first
time
she
found
them
too
inconceivable
to
believe
.
He
was
drunk
and
sick
.
And
sick
children
must
be
humored
.
"
There
!
There
!
"
she
said
crooningly
.
"
Hush
,
now
.
I
understand
.
"
