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- Маргарет Митчелл
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"
I
should
not
write
those
words
.
I
should
not
even
think
them
.
But
you
have
asked
me
what
was
in
my
heart
,
and
the
fear
of
defeat
is
there
.
Do
you
remember
at
the
barbecue
,
the
day
our
engagement
was
announced
,
that
a
man
named
Butler
,
a
Charlestonian
by
his
accent
,
nearly
caused
a
fight
by
his
remarks
about
the
ignorance
of
Southerners
?
Do
you
recall
how
the
twins
wanted
to
shoot
him
because
he
said
we
had
few
foundries
and
factories
,
mills
and
ships
,
arsenals
and
machine
shops
?
Do
you
recall
how
he
said
the
Yankee
fleet
could
bottle
us
up
so
tightly
we
could
not
ship
out
our
cotton
?
He
was
right
.
We
are
fighting
the
Yankees
'
new
rifles
with
Revolutionary
War
muskets
,
and
soon
the
blockade
will
be
too
tight
for
even
medical
supplies
to
slip
in
.
We
should
have
paid
heed
to
cynics
like
Butler
who
knew
,
instead
of
statesmen
who
felt
--
and
talked
.
He
said
,
in
effect
,
that
the
South
had
nothing
with
which
to
wage
war
but
cotton
and
arrogance
.
Our
cotton
is
worthless
and
what
he
called
arrogance
is
all
that
is
left
.
But
I
call
that
arrogance
matchless
courage
.
If
--
"
But
Scarlett
carefully
folded
up
the
letter
without
finishing
it
and
thrust
it
back
into
the
envelope
,
too
bored
to
read
further
.
Besides
,
the
tone
of
the
letter
vaguely
depressed
her
with
its
foolish
talk
of
defeat
.
After
all
,
she
was
n't
reading
Melanie
's
mail
to
learn
Ashley
's
puzzling
and
uninteresting
ideas
.
She
had
had
to
listen
to
enough
of
them
when
he
sat
on
the
porch
at
Tara
in
days
gone
by
.
All
she
wanted
to
know
was
whether
he
wrote
impassioned
letters
to
his
wife
.
So
far
he
had
not
.
She
had
read
every
letter
in
the
writing
box
and
there
was
nothing
in
any
one
of
them
that
a
brother
might
not
have
written
to
a
sister
.
They
were
affectionate
,
humorous
,
discursive
,
but
not
the
letters
of
a
lover
.
Scarlett
had
received
too
many
ardent
love
letters
herself
not
to
recognize
the
authentic
note
of
passion
when
she
saw
it
.
And
that
note
was
missing
.
As
always
after
her
secret
readings
,
a
feeling
of
smug
satisfaction
enveloped
her
,
for
she
felt
certain
that
Ashley
still
loved
her
.
And
always
she
wondered
sneeringly
why
Melanie
did
not
realize
that
Ashley
only
loved
her
as
a
friend
.
Melanie
evidently
found
nothing
lacking
in
her
husband
's
messages
but
Melanie
had
had
no
other
man
's
love
letters
with
which
to
compare
Ashley
's
.
"
"
He
writes
such
crazy
letters
,
"
Scarlett
thought
.
"
If
ever
any
husband
of
mine
wrote
me
such
twaddle-twaddle
,
he
'd
certainly
hear
from
me
!
Why
,
even
Charlie
wrote
better
letters
than
these
.
"
She
flipped
back
the
edges
of
the
letters
,
looking
at
the
dates
,
remembering
their
contents
.
In
them
there
were
no
fine
descriptive
pages
of
bivouacs
and
charges
such
as
Darcy
Meade
wrote
his
parents
or
poor
Dallas
McLure
had
written
his
old-maid
sisters
,
Misses
Faith
and
Hope
.
The
Meades
and
McLures
proudly
read
these
letters
all
over
the
neighborhood
,
and
Scarlett
had
frequently
felt
a
secret
shame
that
Melanie
had
no
such
letters
from
Ashley
to
read
aloud
at
sewing
circles
.
It
was
as
though
when
writing
Melanie
,
Ashley
tried
to
ignore
the
war
altogether
,
and
sought
to
draw
about
the
two
of
them
a
magic
circle
of
timelessness
,
shutting
out
everything
that
had
happened
since
Fort
Sumter
was
the
news
of
the
day
.
It
was
almost
as
if
he
were
trying
to
believe
there
was
n't
any
war
.
He
wrote
of
books
which
he
and
Melanie
had
read
and
songs
they
had
sung
,
of
old
friends
they
knew
and
places
he
had
visited
on
his
Grand
Tour
.
Through
the
letters
ran
a
wistful
yearning
to
be
back
home
at
Twelve
Oaks
,
and
for
pages
he
wrote
of
the
hunting
and
the
long
rides
through
the
still
forest
paths
under
frosty
autumn
stars
,
the
barbecues
,
the
fish
fries
,
the
quiet
of
moonlight
nights
and
the
serene
charm
of
the
old
house
.
She
thought
of
his
words
in
the
letter
she
had
just
read
:
"
Not
this
!
Never
this
!
"
and
they
seemed
to
cry
of
a
tormented
soul
facing
something
he
could
not
face
,
yet
must
face
.
It
puzzled
her
for
,
if
he
was
not
afraid
of
wounds
and
death
,
what
was
it
he
feared
?
Unanalytical
,
she
struggled
with
the
complex
thought
.
"
The
war
disturbs
him
and
he
--
he
does
n't
like
things
that
disturb
him
...
.
Me
,
for
instance
...
.
He
loved
me
but
he
was
afraid
to
marry
me
because
--
for
fear
I
'd
upset
his
way
of
thinking
and
living
.
No
,
it
was
n't
exactly
that
he
was
afraid
.
Ashley
is
n't
a
coward
.
He
could
n't
be
when
he
's
been
mentioned
in
dispatches
and
when
Colonel
Sloan
wrote
that
letter
to
Melly
all
about
his
gallant
conduct
in
leading
the
charge
.
Once
he
's
made
up
his
mind
to
do
something
,
no
one
could
be
braver
or
more
determined
but
--
He
lives
inside
his
head
instead
of
outside
in
the
world
and
he
hates
to
come
out
into
the
world
and
--
Oh
,
I
do
n't
know
what
it
is
!
If
I
'd
just
understood
this
one
thing
about
him
years
ago
,
I
know
he
'd
have
married
me
.
"
