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They
took
it
for
granted
that
she
was
imbued
with
their
own
patriotic
fervor
and
would
have
been
shocked
to
know
how
slight
an
interest
in
the
war
she
had
.
Except
for
the
ever-present
torment
that
Ashley
might
be
killed
,
the
war
interested
her
not
at
all
,
and
nursing
was
something
she
did
simply
because
she
did
n't
know
how
to
get
out
of
it
.
Certainly
there
was
nothing
romantic
about
nursing
.
To
her
,
it
meant
groans
,
delirium
,
death
and
smells
.
The
hospitals
were
filled
with
dirty
,
bewhiskered
,
verminous
men
who
smelled
terribly
and
bore
on
their
bodies
wounds
hideous
enough
to
turn
a
Christian
's
stomach
.
The
hospitals
stank
of
gangrene
,
the
odor
assaulting
her
nostrils
long
before
the
doors
were
reached
,
a
sickish
sweet
smell
that
clung
to
her
hands
and
hair
and
haunted
her
in
her
dreams
.
Flies
,
mosquitoes
and
gnats
hovered
in
droning
,
singing
swarms
over
the
wards
,
tormenting
the
men
to
curses
and
weak
sobs
;
and
Scarlett
,
scratching
her
own
mosquito
bites
,
swung
palmetto
fans
until
her
shoulders
ached
and
she
wished
that
all
the
men
were
dead
.
Melanie
,
however
,
did
not
seem
to
mind
the
smells
,
the
wounds
or
the
nakedness
,
which
Scarlett
thought
strange
in
one
who
was
the
most
timorous
and
modest
of
women
.
Sometimes
when
holding
basins
and
instruments
while
Dr.
Meade
cut
out
gangrened
flesh
,
Melanie
looked
very
white
.
And
once
,
alter
such
an
operation
,
Scarlett
found
her
in
the
linen
closet
vomiting
quietly
into
a
towel
.
But
as
long
as
she
was
where
the
wounded
could
see
her
,
she
was
gentle
,
sympathetic
and
cheerful
,
and
the
men
in
the
hospitals
called
her
an
angel
of
mercy
.
Scarlett
would
have
liked
that
title
too
,
but
it
involved
touching
men
crawling
with
lice
,
running
fingers
down
throats
of
unconscious
patients
to
see
if
they
were
choking
on
swallowed
tobacco
quids
,
bandaging
stumps
and
picking
maggots
out
of
festering
flesh
.
No
,
she
did
not
like
nursing
!
Perhaps
it
might
have
been
endurable
if
she
had
been
permitted
to
use
her
charms
on
the
convalescent
men
,
for
many
of
them
were
attractive
and
well
born
,
but
this
she
could
not
do
in
her
widowed
state
.
The
young
ladies
of
the
town
,
who
were
not
permitted
to
nurse
for
fear
they
would
see
sights
unfit
for
virgin
eyes
,
had
the
convalescent
wards
in
their
charge
.
Unhampered
by
matrimony
or
widowhood
,
they
made
vast
inroads
on
the
convalescents
,
and
even
the
least
attractive
girls
,
Scarlett
observed
gloomily
,
had
no
difficulty
in
getting
engaged
.
With
the
exception
of
desperately
ill
and
severely
wounded
men
,
Scarlett
's
was
a
completely
feminized
world
and
this
irked
her
,
for
she
neither
liked
nor
trusted
her
own
sex
and
,
worse
still
,
was
always
bored
by
it
.
But
on
three
afternoons
a
week
she
had
to
attend
sewing
circles
and
bandage-rolling
committees
of
Melanie
's
friends
.
The
girls
who
had
all
known
Charles
were
very
kind
and
attentive
to
her
at
these
gatherings
,
especially
Fanny
Elsing
and
Maybelle
Merriwether
,
the
daughters
of
the
town
dowagers
.
But
they
treated
her
deferentially
,
as
if
she
were
old
and
finished
,
and
their
constant
chatter
of
dances
and
beaux
made
her
both
envious
of
their
pleasures
and
resentful
that
her
widowhood
barred
her
from
such
activities
.
Why
,
she
was
three
times
as
attractive
as
Fanny
and
Maybelle
!
Oh
,
how
unfair
life
was
!
How
unfair
that
everyone
should
think
her
heart
was
in
the
grave
when
it
was
n't
at
all
!
It
was
in
Virginia
with
Ashley
!
But
in
spite
of
these
discomforts
,
Atlanta
pleased
her
very
well
.
And
her
visit
lengthened
as
the
weeks
slipped
by
.
Scarlett
sat
in
the
window
of
her
bedroom
that
midsummer
morning
and
disconsolately
watched
the
wagons
and
carriages
full
of
girls
,
soldiers
and
chaperons
ride
gaily
out
Peachtree
road
in
search
of
woodland
decorations
for
the
bazaar
which
was
to
be
held
that
evening
for
the
benefit
of
the
hospitals
.
The
red
road
lay
checkered
in
shade
and
sun
glare
beneath
the
over-arching
trees
and
the
many
hooves
kicked
up
little
red
clouds
of
dust
.
One
wagon
,
ahead
of
the
others
,
bore
four
stout
negroes
with
axes
to
cut
evergreens
and
drag
down
the
vines
,
and
the
back
of
this
wagon
was
piled
high
with
napkin-covered
hampers
,
split-oak
baskets
of
lunch
and
a
dozen
watermelons
.
Two
of
the
black
bucks
were
equipped
with
banjo
and
harmonica
and
they
were
rendering
a
spirited
version
of
"
If
You
Want
to
Have
a
Good
Time
,
Jine
the
Cavalry
.
"
Behind
them
streamed
the
merry
cavalcade
,
girls
cool
in
flowered
cotton
dresses
,
with
light
shawls
,
bonnets
and
mitts
to
protect
their
skins
and
little
parasols
held
over
their
heads
;
elderly
ladies
placid
and
smiling
amid
the
laughter
and
carriage-to-carriage
calls
and
jokes
;
convalescents
from
the
hospitals
wedged
in
between
stout
chaperons
and
slender
girls
who
made
great
fuss
and
to-do
over
them
;
officers
on
horseback
idling
at
snail
's
pace
beside
the
carriages
--
wheels
creaking
,
spurs
jingling
,
gold
braid
gleaming
,
parasols
bobbing
,
fans
swishing
,
negroes
singing
.
Everybody
was
riding
out
Peachtree
road
to
gather
greenery
and
have
a
picnic
and
melon
cutting
.
Everybody
,
thought
Scarlett
,
morosely
,
except
me
.
They
all
waved
and
called
to
her
as
they
went
by
and
she
tried
to
respond
with
a
good
grace
,
but
it
was
difficult
.
A
hard
little
pain
had
started
in
her
heart
and
was
traveling
slowly
up
toward
her
throat
where
it
would
become
a
lump
and
the
lump
would
soon
become
tears
.
Everybody
was
going
to
the
picnic
except
her
.
And
everybody
was
going
to
the
bazaar
and
the
ball
tonight
except
her
.
That
is
everybody
except
her
and
Pittypat
and
Melly
and
the
other
unfortunates
in
town
who
were
in
mourning
.
But
Melly
and
Pittypat
did
not
seem
to
mind
.
It
had
not
even
occurred
to
them
to
want
to
go
.
It
had
occurred
to
Scarlett
.
And
she
did
want
to
go
,
tremendously
.
It
simply
was
n't
fair
.
She
had
worked
twice
as
hard
as
any
girl
in
town
,
getting
things
ready
for
the
bazaar
.
She
had
knitted
socks
and
baby
caps
and
afghans
and
mufflers
and
tatted
yards
of
lace
and
painted
china
hair
receivers
and
mustache
cups
.
And
she
had
embroidered
half
a
dozen
sofa-pillow
cases
with
the
Confederate
flag
on
them
.
(
The
stars
were
a
bit
lopsided
,
to
be
sure
,
some
of
them
being
almost
round
and
others
having
six
or
even
seven
points
,
but
the
effect
was
good
.
)
Yesterday
she
had
worked
until
she
was
worn
out
in
the
dusty
old
barn
of
an
Armory
draping
yellow
and
pink
and
green
cheesecloth
on
the
booths
that
lined
the
walls
.
Under
the
supervision
of
the
Ladies
'
Hospital
Committee
,
this
was
plain
hard
work
and
no
fun
at
all
.
It
was
never
fun
to
be
around
Mrs.
Merriwether
and
Mrs.
Elsing
and
Mrs.
Whiting
and
have
them
boss
you
like
you
were
one
of
the
darkies
.
And
have
to
listen
to
them
brag
about
how
popular
their
daughters
were
.
And
,
worst
of
all
,
she
had
burned
two
blisters
on
her
fingers
helping
Pittypat
and
Cookie
make
layer
cakes
for
raffling
.
