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- Стр. 709/1273
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Natásha
apparently
tried
not
to
be
a
burden
or
a
hindrance
to
anyone
,
but
wanted
nothing
for
herself
.
She
kept
away
from
everyone
in
the
house
and
felt
at
ease
only
with
her
brother
Pétya
.
She
liked
to
be
with
him
better
than
with
the
others
,
and
when
alone
with
him
she
sometimes
laughed
.
She
hardly
ever
left
the
house
and
of
those
who
came
to
see
them
was
glad
to
see
only
one
person
,
Pierre
.
It
would
have
been
impossible
to
treat
her
with
more
delicacy
,
greater
care
,
and
at
the
same
time
more
seriously
than
did
Count
Bezúkhov
.
Natásha
unconsciously
felt
this
delicacy
and
so
found
great
pleasure
in
his
society
.
But
she
was
not
even
grateful
to
him
for
it
;
nothing
good
on
Pierre
's
part
seemed
to
her
to
be
an
effort
,
it
seemed
so
natural
for
him
to
be
kind
to
everyone
that
there
was
no
merit
in
his
kindness
.
Sometimes
Natásha
noticed
embarrassment
and
awkwardness
on
his
part
in
her
presence
,
especially
when
he
wanted
to
do
something
to
please
her
,
or
feared
that
something
they
spoke
of
would
awaken
memories
distressing
to
her
.
She
noticed
this
and
attributed
it
to
his
general
kindness
and
shyness
,
which
she
imagined
must
be
the
same
toward
everyone
as
it
was
to
her
.
After
those
involuntary
words
--
that
if
he
were
free
he
would
have
asked
on
his
knees
for
her
hand
and
her
love
--
uttered
at
a
moment
when
she
was
so
strongly
agitated
,
Pierre
never
spoke
to
Natásha
of
his
feelings
;
and
it
seemed
plain
to
her
that
those
words
,
which
had
then
so
comforted
her
,
were
spoken
as
all
sorts
of
meaningless
words
are
spoken
to
comfort
a
crying
child
.
It
was
not
because
Pierre
was
a
married
man
,
but
because
Natásha
felt
very
strongly
with
him
that
moral
barrier
the
absence
of
which
she
had
experienced
with
Kurágin
that
it
never
entered
her
head
that
the
relations
between
him
and
herself
could
lead
to
love
on
her
part
,
still
less
on
his
,
or
even
to
the
kind
of
tender
,
self-conscious
,
romantic
friendship
between
a
man
and
a
woman
of
which
she
had
known
several
instances
.
Before
the
end
of
the
fast
of
St.
Peter
,
Agraféna
Ivánovna
Belóva
,
a
country
neighbor
of
the
Rostóvs
,
came
to
Moscow
to
pay
her
devotions
at
the
shrines
of
the
Moscow
saints
.
She
suggested
that
Natásha
should
fast
and
prepare
for
Holy
Communion
,
and
Natásha
gladly
welcomed
the
idea
.
Despite
the
doctor
's
orders
that
she
should
not
go
out
early
in
the
morning
,
Natásha
insisted
on
fasting
and
preparing
for
the
sacrament
,
not
as
they
generally
prepared
for
it
in
the
Rostóv
family
by
attending
three
services
in
their
own
house
,
but
as
Agraféna
Ivánovna
did
,
by
going
to
church
every
day
for
a
week
and
not
once
missing
Vespers
,
Matins
,
or
Mass.
.
The
countess
was
pleased
with
Natásha
's
zeal
;
after
the
poor
results
of
the
medical
treatment
,
in
the
depths
of
her
heart
she
hoped
that
prayer
might
help
her
daughter
more
than
medicines
and
,
though
not
without
fear
and
concealing
it
from
the
doctor
,
she
agreed
to
Natásha
's
wish
and
entrusted
her
to
Belóva
.
Agraféna
Ivánovna
used
to
come
to
wake
Natásha
at
three
in
the
morning
,
but
generally
found
her
already
awake
.
She
was
afraid
of
being
late
for
Matins
.
Hastily
washing
,
and
meekly
putting
on
her
shabbiest
dress
and
an
old
mantilla
,
Natásha
,
shivering
in
the
fresh
air
,
went
out
into
the
deserted
streets
lit
by
the
clear
light
of
dawn
.
By
Agraféna
Ivánovna
's
advice
Natásha
prepared
herself
not
in
their
own
parish
,
but
at
a
church
where
,
according
to
the
devout
Agraféna
Ivánovna
,
the
priest
was
a
man
of
very
severe
and
lofty
life
.
There
were
never
many
people
in
the
church
;
Natásha
always
stood
beside
Belóva
in
the
customary
place
before
an
icon
of
the
Blessed
Virgin
,
let
into
the
screen
before
the
choir
on
the
left
side
,
and
a
feeling
,
new
to
her
,
of
humility
before
something
great
and
incomprehensible
,
seized
her
when
at
that
unusual
morning
hour
,
gazing
at
the
dark
face
of
the
Virgin
illuminated
by
the
candles
burning
before
it
and
by
the
morning
light
falling
from
the
window
,
she
listened
to
the
words
of
the
service
which
she
tried
to
follow
with
understanding
.
When
she
understood
them
her
personal
feeling
became
interwoven
in
the
prayers
with
shades
of
its
own
.
When
she
did
not
understand
,
it
was
sweeter
still
to
think
that
the
wish
to
understand
everything
is
pride
,
that
it
is
impossible
to
understand
all
,
that
it
is
only
necessary
to
believe
and
to
commit
oneself
to
God
,
whom
she
felt
guiding
her
soul
at
those
moments
.
She
crossed
herself
,
bowed
low
,
and
when
she
did
not
understand
,
in
horror
at
her
own
vileness
,
simply
asked
God
to
forgive
her
everything
,
everything
,
to
have
mercy
upon
her
.
The
prayers
to
which
she
surrendered
herself
most
of
all
were
those
of
repentance
On
her
way
home
at
an
early
hour
when
she
met
no
one
but
bricklayers
going
to
work
or
men
sweeping
the
street
,
and
everybody
within
the
houses
was
still
asleep
,
Natásha
experienced
a
feeling
new
to
her
,
a
sense
of
the
possibility
of
correcting
her
faults
,
the
possibility
of
a
new
,
clean
life
,
and
of
happiness
.
During
the
whole
week
she
spent
in
this
way
,
that
feeling
grew
every
day
.
And
the
happiness
of
taking
communion
,
or
"
communing
"
as
Agraféna
Ivánovna
,
joyously
playing
with
the
word
,
called
it
,
seemed
to
Natásha
so
great
that
she
felt
she
should
never
live
till
that
blessed
Sunday
.
But
the
happy
day
came
,
and
on
that
memorable
Sunday
,
when
,
dressed
in
white
muslin
,
she
returned
home
after
communion
,
for
the
first
time
for
many
months
she
felt
calm
and
not
oppressed
by
the
thought
of
the
life
that
lay
before
her
.
The
doctor
who
came
to
see
her
that
day
ordered
her
to
continue
the
powders
he
had
prescribed
a
fortnight
previously
.
"
She
must
certainly
go
on
taking
them
morning
and
evening
,
"
said
he
,
evidently
sincerely
satisfied
with
his
success
.
"
Only
,
please
be
particular
about
it
.
