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Without
replying
either
to
his
wife
or
his
mother-in-law
,
Pierre
late
one
night
prepared
for
a
journey
and
started
for
Moscow
to
see
Joseph
Alexéevich
.
This
is
what
he
noted
in
his
diary
:
Moscow
,
17th
November
I
have
just
returned
from
my
benefactor
,
and
hasten
to
write
down
what
I
have
experienced
.
Joseph
Alexéevich
is
living
poorly
and
has
for
three
years
been
suffering
from
a
painful
disease
of
the
bladder
.
No
one
has
ever
heard
him
utter
a
groan
or
a
word
of
complaint
.
From
morning
till
late
at
night
,
except
when
he
eats
his
very
plain
food
,
he
is
working
at
science
.
He
received
me
graciously
and
made
me
sit
down
on
the
bed
on
which
he
lay
.
I
made
the
sign
of
the
Knights
of
the
East
and
of
Jerusalem
,
and
he
responded
in
the
same
manner
,
asking
me
with
a
mild
smile
what
I
had
learned
and
gained
in
the
Prussian
and
Scottish
lodges
.
I
told
him
everything
as
best
I
could
,
and
told
him
what
I
had
proposed
to
our
Petersburg
lodge
,
of
the
bad
reception
I
had
encountered
,
and
of
my
rupture
with
the
Brothers
.
Joseph
Alexéevich
,
having
remained
silent
and
thoughtful
for
a
good
while
,
told
me
his
view
of
the
matter
,
which
at
once
lit
up
for
me
my
whole
past
and
the
future
path
I
should
follow
.
He
surprised
me
by
asking
whether
I
remembered
the
threefold
aim
of
the
order
:
(
1
)
The
preservation
and
study
of
the
mystery
.
(
2
)
The
purification
and
reformation
of
oneself
for
its
reception
,
and
(
3
)
The
improvement
of
the
human
race
by
striving
for
such
purification
.
Which
is
the
principal
aim
of
these
three
?
Certainly
self-reformation
and
self-purification
.
Only
to
this
aim
can
we
always
strive
independently
of
circumstances
.
But
at
the
same
time
just
this
aim
demands
the
greatest
efforts
of
us
;
and
so
,
led
astray
by
pride
,
losing
sight
of
this
aim
,
we
occupy
ourselves
either
with
the
mystery
which
in
our
impurity
we
are
unworthy
to
receive
,
or
seek
the
reformation
of
the
human
race
while
ourselves
setting
an
example
of
baseness
and
profligacy
.
Illuminism
is
not
a
pure
doctrine
,
just
because
it
is
attracted
by
social
activity
and
puffed
up
by
pride
.
On
this
ground
Joseph
Alexéevich
condemned
my
speech
and
my
whole
activity
,
and
in
the
depth
of
my
soul
I
agreed
with
him
.
Talking
of
my
family
affairs
he
said
to
me
,
"
the
chief
duty
of
a
true
Mason
,
as
I
have
told
you
,
lies
in
perfecting
himself
.
We
often
think
that
by
removing
all
the
difficulties
of
our
life
we
shall
more
quickly
reach
our
aim
,
but
on
the
contrary
,
my
dear
sir
,
it
is
only
in
the
midst
of
worldly
cares
that
we
can
attain
our
three
chief
aims
:
(
1
)
Self-knowledge
--
for
man
can
only
know
himself
by
comparison
,
(
2
)
Self-perfecting
,
which
can
only
be
attained
by
conflict
,
and
(
3
)
The
attainment
of
the
chief
virtue
--
love
of
death
.
Only
the
vicissitudes
of
life
can
show
us
its
vanity
and
develop
our
innate
love
of
death
or
of
rebirth
to
a
new
life
.
"
These
words
are
all
the
more
remarkable
because
,
in
spite
of
his
great
physical
sufferings
,
Joseph
Alexéevich
is
never
weary
of
life
though
he
loves
death
,
for
which
--
in
spite
of
the
purity
and
loftiness
of
his
inner
man
--
he
does
not
yet
feel
himself
sufficiently
prepared
.
My
benefactor
then
explained
to
me
fully
the
meaning
of
the
Great
Square
of
creation
and
pointed
out
to
me
that
the
numbers
three
and
seven
are
the
basis
of
everything
.
He
advised
me
not
to
avoid
intercourse
with
the
Petersburg
Brothers
,
but
to
take
up
only
second-grade
posts
in
the
lodge
,
to
try
,
while
diverting
the
Brothers
from
pride
,
to
turn
them
toward
the
true
path
self-knowledge
and
self-perfecting
.
Besides
this
he
advised
me
for
myself
personally
above
all
to
keep
a
watch
over
myself
,
and
to
that
end
he
gave
me
a
notebook
,
the
one
I
am
now
writing
in
and
in
which
I
will
in
future
note
down
all
my
actions
.
Petersburg
,
23rd
November
I
am
again
living
with
my
wife
.
My
mother-in-law
came
to
me
in
tears
and
said
that
Hélène
was
here
and
that
she
implored
me
to
hear
her
;
that
she
was
innocent
and
unhappy
at
my
desertion
,
and
much
more
.
I
knew
that
if
I
once
let
myself
see
her
I
should
not
have
strength
to
go
on
refusing
what
she
wanted
.
In
my
perplexity
I
did
not
know
whose
aid
and
advice
to
seek
.
Had
my
benefactor
been
here
he
would
have
told
me
what
to
do
.
I
went
to
my
room
and
reread
Joseph
Alexéevich
's
letters
and
recalled
my
conversations
with
him
,
and
deduced
from
it
all
that
I
ought
not
to
refuse
a
supplicant
,
and
ought
to
reach
a
helping
hand
to
everyone
--
especially
to
one
so
closely
bound
to
me
--
and
that
I
must
bear
my
cross
.
But
if
I
forgive
her
for
the
sake
of
doing
right
,
then
let
union
with
her
have
only
a
spiritual
aim
.
That
is
what
I
decided
,
and
what
I
wrote
to
Joseph
Alexéevich
I
told
my
wife
that
I
begged
her
to
forget
the
past
,
to
forgive
me
whatever
wrong
I
may
have
done
her
,
and
that
I
had
nothing
to
forgive
.
It
gave
me
joy
to
tell
her
this
.
She
need
not
know
how
hard
it
was
for
me
to
see
her
again
.
I
have
settled
on
the
upper
floor
of
this
big
house
and
am
experiencing
a
happy
feeling
of
regeneration
.
At
that
time
,
as
always
happens
,
the
highest
society
that
met
at
court
and
at
the
grand
balls
was
divided
into
several
circles
,
each
with
its
own
particular
tone
.
The
largest
of
these
was
the
French
circle
of
the
Napoleonic
alliance
,
the
circle
of
Count
Rumyántsev
and
Caulaincourt
.
In
this
group
Hélène
,
as
soon
as
she
had
settled
in
Petersburg
with
her
husband
,
took
a
very
prominent
place
.
She
was
visited
by
the
members
of
the
French
embassy
and
by
many
belonging
to
that
circle
and
noted
for
their
intellect
and
polished
manners
.
Hélène
had
been
at
Erfurt
during
the
famous
meeting
of
the
Emperors
and
had
brought
from
there
these
connections
with
the
Napoleonic
notabilities
.
At
Erfurt
her
success
had
been
brilliant
.
Napoleon
himself
had
noticed
her
in
the
theater
and
said
of
her
:
"
C'est
un
superbe
animal
.
"
*
Her
success
as
a
beautiful
and
elegant
woman
did
not
surprise
Pierre
,
for
she
had
become
even
handsomer
than
before
.
What
did
surprise
him
was
that
during
these
last
two
years
his
wife
had
succeeded
in
gaining
the
reputation
"
d'
une
femme
charmante
,
aussi
spirituelle
que
belle
.
"
*
(
2
)
The
distinguished
Prince
de
Ligne
wrote
her
eight-page
letters
.
Bilíbin
saved
up
his
epigrams
to
produce
them
in
Countess
Bezúkhova
's
presence
.
To
be
received
in
the
Countess
Bezúkhova
's
salon
was
regarded
as
a
diploma
of
intellect
.
Young
men
read
books
before
attending
Hélène
's
evenings
,
to
have
something
to
say
in
her
salon
,
and
secretaries
of
the
embassy
,
and
even
ambassadors
,
confided
diplomatic
secrets
to
her
,
so
that
in
a
way
Hélène
was
a
power
.
