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"
What
!
It
is
as
if
I
were
glad
of
a
chance
to
take
advantage
of
his
being
alone
and
despondent
!
A
strange
face
may
seem
unpleasant
or
painful
to
him
at
this
moment
of
sorrow
;
besides
,
what
can
I
say
to
him
now
,
when
my
heart
fails
me
and
my
mouth
feels
dry
at
the
mere
sight
of
him
?
"
Not
one
of
the
innumerable
speeches
addressed
to
the
Emperor
that
he
had
composed
in
his
imagination
could
he
now
recall
.
Those
speeches
were
intended
for
quite
other
conditions
,
they
were
for
the
most
part
to
be
spoken
at
a
moment
of
victory
and
triumph
,
generally
when
he
was
dying
of
wounds
and
the
sovereign
had
thanked
him
for
heroic
deeds
,
and
while
dying
he
expressed
the
love
his
actions
had
proved
.
"
Besides
how
can
I
ask
the
Emperor
for
his
instructions
for
the
right
flank
now
that
it
is
nearly
four
o'clock
and
the
battle
is
lost
?
No
,
certainly
I
must
not
approach
him
,
I
must
not
intrude
on
his
reflections
.
Better
die
a
thousand
times
than
risk
receiving
an
unkind
look
or
bad
opinion
from
him
,
"
Rostóv
decided
;
and
sorrowfully
and
with
a
heart
full
despair
he
rode
away
,
continually
looking
back
at
the
Tsar
,
who
still
remained
in
the
same
attitude
of
indecision
.
While
Rostóv
was
thus
arguing
with
himself
and
riding
sadly
away
,
Captain
von
Toll
chanced
to
ride
to
the
same
spot
,
and
seeing
the
Emperor
at
once
rode
up
to
him
,
offered
his
services
,
and
assisted
him
to
cross
the
ditch
on
foot
.
The
Emperor
,
wishing
to
rest
and
feeling
unwell
,
sat
down
under
an
apple
tree
and
von
Toll
remained
beside
him
.
Rostóv
from
a
distance
saw
with
envy
and
remorse
how
von
Toll
spoke
long
and
warmly
to
the
Emperor
and
how
the
Emperor
,
evidently
weeping
,
covered
his
eyes
with
his
hand
and
pressed
von
Toll
's
hand
.
"
And
I
might
have
been
in
his
place
!
"
thought
Rostóv
,
and
hardly
restraining
his
tears
of
pity
for
the
Emperor
,
he
rode
on
in
utter
despair
,
not
knowing
where
to
or
why
he
was
now
riding
.
His
despair
was
all
the
greater
from
feeling
that
his
own
weakness
was
the
cause
of
his
grief
.
He
might
...
not
only
might
but
should
,
have
gone
up
to
the
sovereign
.
It
was
a
unique
chance
to
show
his
devotion
to
the
Emperor
and
he
had
not
made
use
of
it
...
"
What
have
I
done
?
"
thought
he
.
And
he
turned
round
and
galloped
back
to
the
place
where
he
had
seen
the
Emperor
,
but
there
was
no
one
beyond
the
ditch
now
.
Only
some
carts
and
carriages
were
passing
by
.
From
one
of
the
drivers
he
learned
that
Kutúzov
's
staff
were
not
far
off
,
in
the
village
the
vehicles
were
going
to
.
Rostóv
followed
them
.
In
front
of
him
walked
Kutúzov
's
groom
leading
horses
in
horsecloths
.
Then
came
a
cart
,
and
behind
that
walked
an
old
,
bandy-legged
domestic
serf
in
a
peaked
cap
and
sheepskin
coat
.
"
Tit
!
I
say
,
Tit
!
"
said
the
groom
.
"
What
?
"
answered
the
old
man
absent-mindedly
.
"
Go
,
Tit
!
Thresh
a
bit
!
"