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Sometimes
it
seemed
to
her
that
this
difference
arose
from
the
difference
in
their
ages
,
but
she
felt
herself
to
blame
toward
him
and
promised
in
her
heart
to
do
better
and
to
accomplish
the
impossible
--
in
this
life
to
love
her
husband
,
her
children
,
little
Nicholas
,
and
all
her
neighbors
,
as
Christ
loved
mankind
.
Countess
Mary
's
soul
always
strove
toward
the
infinite
,
the
eternal
,
and
the
absolute
,
and
could
therefore
never
be
at
peace
.
A
stern
expression
of
the
lofty
,
secret
suffering
of
a
soul
burdened
by
the
body
appeared
on
her
face
.
Nicholas
gazed
at
her
.
"
O
God
!
What
will
become
of
us
if
she
dies
,
as
I
always
fear
when
her
face
is
like
that
?
"
thought
he
,
and
placing
himself
before
the
icon
he
began
to
say
his
evening
prayers
.
Natásha
and
Pierre
,
left
alone
,
also
began
to
talk
as
only
a
husband
and
wife
can
talk
,
that
is
,
with
extraordinary
clearness
and
rapidity
,
understanding
and
expressing
each
other
's
thoughts
in
ways
contrary
to
all
rules
of
logic
,
without
premises
,
deductions
,
or
conclusions
,
and
in
a
quite
peculiar
way
.
Natásha
was
so
used
to
this
kind
of
talk
with
her
husband
that
for
her
it
was
the
surest
sign
of
something
being
wrong
between
them
if
Pierre
followed
a
line
of
logical
reasoning
.
When
he
began
proving
anything
,
or
talking
argumentatively
and
calmly
and
she
,
led
on
by
his
example
,
began
to
do
the
same
,
she
knew
that
they
were
on
the
verge
of
a
quarrel
.
From
the
moment
they
were
alone
and
Natásha
came
up
to
him
with
wide-open
happy
eyes
,
and
quickly
seizing
his
head
pressed
it
to
her
bosom
,
saying
:
"
Now
you
are
all
mine
,
mine
!
You
wo
n't
escape
!
"
--
from
that
moment
this
conversation
began
,
contrary
to
all
the
laws
of
logic
and
contrary
to
them
because
quite
different
subjects
were
talked
about
at
one
and
the
same
time
.
This
simultaneous
discussion
of
many
topics
did
not
prevent
a
clear
understanding
but
on
the
contrary
was
the
surest
sign
that
they
fully
understood
one
another
.
Just
as
in
a
dream
when
all
is
uncertain
,
unreasoning
,
and
contradictory
,
except
the
feeling
that
guides
the
dream
,
so
in
this
intercourse
contrary
to
all
laws
of
reason
,
the
words
themselves
were
not
consecutive
and
clear
but
only
the
feeling
that
prompted
them
.
Natásha
spoke
to
Pierre
about
her
brother
's
life
and
doings
,
of
how
she
had
suffered
and
lacked
life
during
his
own
absence
,
and
of
how
she
was
fonder
than
ever
of
Mary
,
and
how
Mary
was
in
every
way
better
than
herself
.
In
saying
this
Natásha
was
sincere
in
acknowledging
Mary
's
superiority
,
but
at
the
same
time
by
saying
it
she
made
a
demand
on
Pierre
that
he
should
,
all
the
same
,
prefer
her
to
Mary
and
to
all
other
women
,
and
that
now
,
especially
after
having
seen
many
women
in
Petersburg
,
he
should
tell
her
so
afresh
.
Pierre
,
answering
Natásha
's
words
,
told
her
how
intolerable
it
had
been
for
him
to
meet
ladies
at
dinners
and
balls
in
Petersburg
.
"
I
have
quite
lost
the
knack
of
talking
to
ladies
,
"
he
said
.
"
It
was
simply
dull
.
Besides
,
I
was
very
busy
.
"
Natásha
looked
intently
at
him
and
went
on
:
"
Mary
is
so
splendid
,
"
she
said
.
"
How
she
understands
children
!
It
is
as
if
she
saw
straight
into
their
souls
.
Yesterday
,
for
instance
,
Mítya
was
naughty
...
"
"
How
like
his
father
he
is
,
"
Pierre
interjected
.
