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But
a
few
days
before
they
left
Moscow
,
moved
and
excited
by
all
that
was
going
on
,
she
called
Sónya
to
her
and
,
instead
of
reproaching
and
making
demands
on
her
,
tearfully
implored
her
to
sacrifice
herself
and
repay
all
that
the
family
had
done
for
her
by
breaking
off
her
engagement
with
Nicholas
.
"
I
shall
not
be
at
peace
till
you
promise
me
this
.
"
Sónya
burst
into
hysterical
tears
and
replied
through
her
sobs
that
she
would
do
anything
and
was
prepared
for
anything
,
but
gave
no
actual
promise
and
could
not
bring
herself
to
decide
to
do
what
was
demanded
of
her
.
She
must
sacrifice
herself
for
the
family
that
had
reared
and
brought
her
up
.
To
sacrifice
herself
for
others
was
Sónya
's
habit
.
Her
position
in
the
house
was
such
that
only
by
sacrifice
could
she
show
her
worth
,
and
she
was
accustomed
to
this
and
loved
doing
it
.
But
in
all
her
former
acts
of
self-sacrifice
she
had
been
happily
conscious
that
they
raised
her
in
her
own
esteem
and
in
that
of
others
,
and
so
made
her
more
worthy
of
Nicholas
whom
she
loved
more
than
anything
in
the
world
.
But
now
they
wanted
her
to
sacrifice
the
very
thing
that
constituted
the
whole
reward
for
her
self-sacrifice
and
the
whole
meaning
of
her
life
.
And
for
the
first
time
she
felt
bitterness
against
those
who
had
been
her
benefactors
only
to
torture
her
the
more
painfully
;
she
felt
jealous
of
Natásha
who
had
never
experienced
anything
of
this
sort
,
had
never
needed
to
sacrifice
herself
,
but
made
others
sacrifice
themselves
for
her
and
yet
was
beloved
by
everybody
.
And
for
the
first
time
Sónya
felt
that
out
of
her
pure
,
quiet
love
for
Nicholas
a
passionate
feeling
was
beginning
to
grow
up
which
was
stronger
than
principle
,
virtue
,
or
religion
.
Under
the
influence
of
this
feeling
Sónya
,
whose
life
of
dependence
had
taught
her
involuntarily
to
be
secretive
,
having
answered
the
countess
in
vague
general
terms
,
avoided
talking
with
her
and
resolved
to
wait
till
she
should
see
Nicholas
,
not
in
order
to
set
him
free
but
on
the
contrary
at
that
meeting
to
bind
him
to
her
forever
.
The
bustle
and
terror
of
the
Rostóvs
'
last
days
in
Moscow
stifled
the
gloomy
thoughts
that
oppressed
Sónya
.
She
was
glad
to
find
escape
from
them
in
practical
activity
.
But
when
she
heard
of
Prince
Andrew
's
presence
in
their
house
,
despite
her
sincere
pity
for
him
and
for
Natásha
,
she
was
seized
by
a
joyful
and
superstitious
feeling
that
God
did
not
intend
her
to
be
separated
from
Nicholas
.
She
knew
that
Natásha
loved
no
one
but
Prince
Andrew
and
had
never
ceased
to
love
him
.
She
knew
that
being
thrown
together
again
under
such
terrible
circumstances
they
would
again
fall
in
love
with
one
another
,
and
that
Nicholas
would
then
not
be
able
to
marry
Princess
Mary
as
they
would
be
within
the
prohibited
degrees
of
affinity
.
Despite
all
the
terror
of
what
had
happened
during
those
last
days
and
during
the
first
days
of
their
journey
,
this
feeling
that
Providence
was
intervening
in
her
personal
affairs
cheered
Sónya
.
At
the
Tróitsa
monastery
the
Rostóvs
first
broke
their
journey
for
a
whole
day
.
Three
large
rooms
were
assigned
to
them
in
the
monastery
hostelry
,
one
of
which
was
occupied
by
Prince
Andrew
.
The
wounded
man
was
much
better
that
day
and
Natásha
was
sitting
with
him
.
In
the
next
room
sat
the
count
and
countess
respectfully
conversing
with
the
prior
,
who
was
calling
on
them
as
old
acquaintances
and
benefactors
of
the
monastery
.
Sónya
was
there
too
,
tormented
by
curiosity
as
to
what
Prince
Andrew
and
Natásha
were
talking
about
.
She
heard
the
sound
of
their
voices
through
the
door
.
That
door
opened
and
Natásha
came
out
,
looking
excited
.
Not
noticing
the
monk
,
who
had
risen
to
greet
her
and
was
drawing
back
the
wide
sleeve
on
his
right
arm
,
she
went
up
to
Sónya
and
took
her
hand
.
"
Natásha
,
what
are
you
about
?
Come
here
!
"
said
the
countess
.
Natásha
went
up
to
the
monk
for
his
blessing
,
and
he
advised
her
to
pray
for
aid
to
God
and
His
saint
.
