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- Лев Толстой
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- Анна Каренина
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- Стр. 96/828
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“
Yes
,
there
is
something
in
me
hateful
,
repulsive
,
”
thought
Levin
,
as
he
came
away
from
the
Shtcherbatskys
’
,
and
walked
in
the
direction
of
his
brother
’
s
lodgings
.
“
And
I
don
’
t
get
on
with
other
people
.
Pride
,
they
say
.
No
,
I
have
no
pride
.
If
I
had
any
pride
,
I
should
not
have
put
myself
in
such
a
position
.
”
And
he
pictured
to
himself
Vronsky
,
happy
,
good
-
natured
,
clever
,
and
self
-
possessed
,
certainly
never
placed
in
the
awful
position
in
which
he
had
been
that
evening
.
“
Yes
,
she
was
bound
to
choose
him
.
So
it
had
to
be
,
and
I
cannot
complain
of
anyone
or
anything
.
I
am
myself
to
blame
.
What
right
had
I
to
imagine
she
would
care
to
join
her
life
to
mine
?
Who
am
I
and
what
am
I
?
A
nobody
,
not
wanted
by
anyone
,
nor
of
use
to
anybody
.
”
And
he
recalled
his
brother
Nikolay
,
and
dwelt
with
pleasure
on
the
thought
of
him
.
“
Isn
’
t
he
right
that
everything
in
the
world
is
base
and
loathsome
?
And
are
we
fair
in
our
judgment
of
brother
Nikolay
?
Of
course
,
from
the
point
of
view
of
Prokofy
,
seeing
him
in
a
torn
cloak
and
tipsy
,
he
’
s
a
despicable
person
.
But
I
know
him
differently
.
I
know
his
soul
,
and
know
that
we
are
like
him
.
And
I
,
instead
of
going
to
seek
him
out
,
went
out
to
dinner
,
and
came
here
.
”
Levin
walked
up
to
a
lamppost
,
read
his
brother
’
s
address
,
which
was
in
his
pocketbook
,
and
called
a
sledge
.
All
the
long
way
to
his
brother
’
s
,
Levin
vividly
recalled
all
the
facts
familiar
to
him
of
his
brother
Nikolay
’
s
life
.
He
remembered
how
his
brother
,
while
at
the
university
,
and
for
a
year
afterwards
,
had
,
in
spite
of
the
jeers
of
his
companions
,
lived
like
a
monk
,
strictly
observing
all
religious
rites
,
services
,
and
fasts
,
and
avoiding
every
sort
of
pleasure
,
especially
women
.
And
afterwards
,
how
he
had
all
at
once
broken
out
:
he
had
associated
with
the
most
horrible
people
,
and
rushed
into
the
most
senseless
debauchery
.
He
remembered
later
the
scandal
over
a
boy
,
whom
he
had
taken
from
the
country
to
bring
up
,
and
,
in
a
fit
of
rage
,
had
so
violently
beaten
that
proceedings
were
brought
against
him
for
unlawfully
wounding
.
Then
he
recalled
the
scandal
with
a
sharper
,
to
whom
he
had
lost
money
,
and
given
a
promissory
note
,
and
against
whom
he
had
himself
lodged
a
complaint
,
asserting
that
he
had
cheated
him
.
(
This
was
the
money
Sergey
Ivanovitch
had
paid
.
)
Then
he
remembered
how
he
had
spent
a
night
in
the
lockup
for
disorderly
conduct
in
the
street
.
He
remembered
the
shameful
proceedings
he
had
tried
to
get
up
against
his
brother
Sergey
Ivanovitch
,
accusing
him
of
not
having
paid
him
his
share
of
his
mother
’
s
fortune
,
and
the
last
scandal
,
when
he
had
gone
to
a
western
province
in
an
official
capacity
,
and
there
had
got
into
trouble
for
assaulting
a
village
elder
.
.
.
.
It
was
all
horribly
disgusting
,
yet
to
Levin
it
appeared
not
at
all
in
the
same
disgusting
light
as
it
inevitably
would
to
those
who
did
not
know
Nikolay
,
did
not
know
all
his
story
,
did
not
know
his
heart
.
Levin
remembered
that
when
Nikolay
had
been
in
the
devout
stage
,
the
period
of
fasts
and
monks
and
church
services
,
when
he
was
seeking
in
religion
a
support
and
a
curb
for
his
passionate
temperament
,
everyone
,
far
from
encouraging
him
,
had
jeered
at
him
,
and
he
,
too
,
with
the
others
.
They
had
teased
him
,
called
him
Noah
,
and
monk
;
and
,
when
he
had
broken
out
,
no
one
had
helped
him
,
but
everyone
had
turned
away
from
him
with
horror
and
disgust
.
Levin
felt
that
,
in
spite
of
all
the
ugliness
of
his
life
,
his
brother
Nikolay
,
in
his
soul
,
in
the
very
depths
of
his
soul
,
was
no
more
in
the
wrong
than
the
people
who
despised
him
.
He
was
not
to
blame
for
having
been
born
with
his
unbridled
temperament
and
his
somehow
limited
intelligence
.
But
he
had
always
wanted
to
be
good
.
“
I
will
tell
him
everything
,
without
reserve
,
and
I
will
make
him
speak
without
reserve
,
too
,
and
I
’
ll
show
him
that
I
love
him
,
and
so
understand
him
,
”
Levin
resolved
to
himself
,
as
,
towards
eleven
o
’
clock
,
he
reached
the
hotel
of
which
he
had
the
address
.
“
At
the
top
,
12
and
13
,
”
the
porter
answered
Levin
’
s
inquiry
.
“
At
home
?
”
“
Sure
to
be
at
home
.
”
The
door
of
No
.
12
was
half
open
,
and
there
came
out
into
the
streak
of
light
thick
fumes
of
cheap
,
poor
tobacco
,
and
the
sound
of
a
voice
,
unknown
to
Levin
;
but
he
knew
at
once
that
his
brother
was
there
;
he
heard
his
cough
.
As
he
went
in
the
door
,
the
unknown
voice
was
saying
:
“
It
all
depends
with
how
much
judgment
and
knowledge
the
thing
’
s
done
.