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Not
disappointed
in
him
,
but
in
my
own
feeling
;
I
had
expected
more
.
I
had
expected
a
rush
of
new
delightful
emotion
to
come
as
a
surprise
.
And
then
instead
of
that
disgust
,
pity
.
.
.
.
She
listened
attentively
,
looking
at
him
over
the
baby
,
while
she
put
back
on
her
slender
fingers
the
rings
she
had
taken
off
while
giving
Mitya
his
bath
.
And
most
of
all
,
at
there
being
far
more
apprehension
and
pity
than
pleasure
.
Today
,
after
that
fright
during
the
storm
,
I
understand
how
I
love
him
.
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Kitty
s
smile
was
radiant
.
Were
you
very
much
frightened
?
she
said
.
So
was
I
too
,
but
I
feel
it
more
now
that
it
s
over
.
I
m
going
to
look
at
the
oak
.
How
nice
Katavasov
is
!
And
what
a
happy
day
we
ve
had
altogether
.
And
you
re
so
nice
with
Sergey
Ivanovitch
,
when
you
care
to
be
.
.
.
.
Well
,
go
back
to
them
.
It
s
always
so
hot
and
steamy
here
after
the
bath
.
Going
out
of
the
nursery
and
being
again
alone
,
Levin
went
back
at
once
to
the
thought
,
in
which
there
was
something
not
clear
.
Instead
of
going
into
the
drawing
-
room
,
where
he
heard
voices
,
he
stopped
on
the
terrace
,
and
leaning
his
elbows
on
the
parapet
,
he
gazed
up
at
the
sky
.
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It
was
quite
dark
now
,
and
in
the
south
,
where
he
was
looking
,
there
were
no
clouds
.
The
storm
had
drifted
on
to
the
opposite
side
of
the
sky
,
and
there
were
flashes
of
lightning
and
distant
thunder
from
that
quarter
.
Levin
listened
to
the
monotonous
drip
from
the
lime
trees
in
the
garden
,
and
looked
at
the
triangle
of
stars
he
knew
so
well
,
and
the
Milky
Way
with
its
branches
that
ran
through
its
midst
.
At
each
flash
of
lightning
the
Milky
Way
,
and
even
the
bright
stars
,
vanished
,
but
as
soon
as
the
lightning
died
away
,
they
reappeared
in
their
places
as
though
some
hand
had
flung
them
back
with
careful
aim
.
Well
,
what
is
it
perplexes
me
?
Levin
said
to
himself
,
feeling
beforehand
that
the
solution
of
his
difficulties
was
ready
in
his
soul
,
though
he
did
not
know
it
yet
.
Yes
,
the
one
unmistakable
,
incontestable
manifestation
of
the
Divinity
is
the
law
of
right
and
wrong
,
which
has
come
into
the
world
by
revelation
,
and
which
I
feel
in
myself
,
and
in
the
recognition
of
which
I
don
t
make
myself
,
but
whether
I
will
or
not
I
am
made
one
with
other
men
in
one
body
of
believers
,
which
is
called
the
church
.
Well
,
but
the
Jews
,
the
Mohammedans
,
the
Confucians
,
the
Buddhists
what
of
them
?
he
put
to
himself
the
question
he
had
feared
to
face
.
Can
these
hundreds
of
millions
of
men
be
deprived
of
that
highest
blessing
without
which
life
has
no
meaning
?
He
pondered
a
moment
,
but
immediately
corrected
himself
.
But
what
am
I
questioning
?
he
said
to
himself
.
I
am
questioning
the
relation
to
Divinity
of
all
the
different
religions
of
all
mankind
.
I
am
questioning
the
universal
manifestation
of
God
to
all
the
world
with
all
those
misty
blurs
.
What
am
I
about
?
To
me
individually
,
to
my
heart
has
been
revealed
a
knowledge
beyond
all
doubt
,
and
unattainable
by
reason
,
and
here
I
am
obstinately
trying
to
express
that
knowledge
in
reason
and
words
.