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“
I
am
weak
.
I
am
crushed
.
I
foresaw
nothing
,
and
now
I
understand
nothing
.
”
“
Dear
friend
,
”
repeated
Lidia
Ivanovna
.
“
It
’
s
not
the
loss
of
what
I
have
not
now
,
it
’
s
not
that
!
”
pursued
Alexey
Alexandrovitch
.
“
I
do
not
grieve
for
that
.
But
I
cannot
help
feeling
humiliated
before
other
people
for
the
position
I
am
placed
in
.
It
is
wrong
,
but
I
can
’
t
help
it
,
I
can
’
t
help
it
.
”
“
Not
you
it
was
performed
that
noble
act
of
forgiveness
,
at
which
I
was
moved
to
ecstasy
,
and
everyone
else
too
,
but
He
,
working
within
your
heart
,
”
said
Countess
Lidia
Ivanovna
,
raising
her
eyes
rapturously
,
“
and
so
you
cannot
be
ashamed
of
your
act
.
”
Alexey
Alexandrovitch
knitted
his
brows
,
and
crooking
his
hands
,
he
cracked
his
fingers
.
“
One
must
know
all
the
facts
,
”
he
said
in
his
thin
voice
.
“
A
man
’
s
strength
has
its
limits
,
countess
,
and
I
have
reached
my
limits
.
The
whole
day
I
have
had
to
be
making
arrangements
,
arrangements
about
household
matters
arising
”
(
he
emphasized
the
word
arising
)
“
from
my
new
,
solitary
position
.
The
servants
,
the
governess
,
the
accounts
.
.
.
.
These
pinpricks
have
stabbed
me
to
the
heart
,
and
I
have
not
the
strength
to
bear
it
.
At
dinner
.
.
.
yesterday
,
I
was
almost
getting
up
from
the
dinner
-
table
.
I
could
not
bear
the
way
my
son
looked
at
me
.
He
did
not
ask
me
the
meaning
of
it
all
,
but
he
wanted
to
ask
,
and
I
could
not
bear
the
look
in
his
eyes
.
He
was
afraid
to
look
at
me
,
but
that
is
not
all
.
.
.
.
”
Alexey
Alexandrovitch
would
have
referred
to
the
bill
that
had
been
brought
him
,
but
his
voice
shook
,
and
he
stopped
.
That
bill
on
blue
paper
,
for
a
hat
and
ribbons
,
he
could
not
recall
without
a
rush
of
self
-
pity
.
“
I
understand
,
dear
friend
,
”
said
Lidia
Ivanovna
.
“
I
understand
it
all
.
Succor
and
comfort
you
will
find
not
in
me
,
though
I
have
come
only
to
aid
you
if
I
can
.
If
I
could
take
from
off
you
all
these
petty
,
humiliating
cares
.
.
.
I
understand
that
a
woman
’
s
word
,
a
woman
’
s
superintendence
is
needed
.
You
will
intrust
it
to
me
?
”
Silently
and
gratefully
Alexey
Alexandrovitch
pressed
her
hand
.
“
Together
we
will
take
care
of
Seryozha
.
Practical
affairs
are
not
my
strong
point
.
But
I
will
set
to
work
.
I
will
be
your
housekeeper
.
Don
’
t
thank
me
.
I
do
it
not
from
myself
.
.
.
.
”
