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- Колин Маккалоу
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- Стр. 370/535
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"
There
was
nothing
else
I
could
do
,
truly
!
I
knew
where
I
should
have
gone
,
but
I
could
n't
.
With
you
I
might
have
been
a
better
man
,
if
less
august
.
But
I
just
could
n't
,
Meggie
.
Oh
,
I
wish
I
could
make
you
see
that
!
"
Her
hand
stole
along
his
bare
arm
,
tenderly
.
"
Dear
Ralph
,
I
do
see
it
.
I
know
,
I
know
...
Each
of
us
has
something
within
us
which
wo
n't
be
denied
,
even
if
it
makes
us
scream
aloud
to
die
.
We
are
what
we
are
,
that
's
all
.
Like
the
old
Celtic
legend
of
the
bird
with
the
thorn
in
its
breast
,
singing
its
heart
out
and
dying
.
Because
it
has
to
,
it
's
driven
to
.
We
can
know
what
we
do
wrong
even
before
we
do
it
,
but
self-knowledge
ca
n't
affect
or
change
the
outcome
,
can
it
?
Everyone
singing
his
own
little
song
,
convinced
it
's
the
most
wonderful
song
the
world
has
ever
heard
.
Do
n't
you
see
?
We
create
our
own
thorns
,
and
never
stop
to
count
the
cost
.
All
we
can
do
is
suffer
the
pain
,
and
tell
ourselves
it
was
well
worth
it
.
"
"
That
's
what
I
do
n't
understand
.
The
pain
.
"
He
glanced
down
at
her
hand
,
so
gently
on
his
arm
,
hurting
him
so
unbearably
.
"
Why
the
pain
,
Meggie
?
"
"
Ask
God
,
Ralph
,
"
said
Meggie
.
"
He
's
the
authority
on
pain
,
is
n't
He
?
He
made
us
what
we
are
,
He
made
the
whole
world
.
Therefore
He
made
the
pain
,
too
.
"
*
*
*
Bob
,
Jack
,
Hughie
,
Jims
and
Patsy
were
in
for
dinner
,
since
it
was
Saturday
night
.
Tomorrow
Father
Watty
was
due
out
to
say
Mass
,
but
Bob
called
him
and
said
no
one
would
be
there
.
A
white
lie
,
to
preserve
Cardinal
Ralph
's
anonymity
.
The
five
Cleary
boys
were
more
like
Paddy
than
ever
,
older
,
slower
in
speech
,
as
steadfast
and
enduring
as
the
land
.
And
how
they
loved
Dane
!
Their
eyes
never
seemed
to
leave
him
,
even
followed
him
from
the
room
when
he
went
to
bed
.
It
was
n't
hard
to
see
they
lived
for
the
day
when
he
would
be
old
enough
to
join
them
in
running
Drogheda
.
Cardinal
Ralph
had
also
discovered
the
reason
for
Justine
's
enmity
.
Dane
had
taken
a
fancy
to
him
,
hung
on
his
words
,
lingered
near
him
;
she
was
plain
jealous
.
After
the
children
had
gone
upstairs
,
he
looked
at
those
who
were
left
:
the
brothers
,
Meggie
,
Fee
.
"
Fee
,
leave
your
desk
for
a
moment
,
"
he
said
.
"
Come
and
sit
here
with
us
.
I
want
to
talk
to
all
of
you
.
"
