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- Колин Маккалоу
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"
It
is
,
is
n't
it
?
I
chose
it
myself
.
They
called
me
Rainer
Schmidt
at
the
home
,
but
when
I
went
into
the
army
I
changed
it
to
the
name
I
've
always
wanted
.
"
"
You
were
an
orphan
?
"
"
The
Sisters
called
me
a
love
child
.
"
Archbishop
Ralph
tried
not
to
smile
;
the
boy
had
such
dignity
and
self-possession
,
now
he
had
lost
his
fear
.
Only
what
had
frightened
him
?
Not
being
found
,
or
being
locked
in
the
basilica
.
"
Why
were
you
so
frightened
,
Rainer
?
"
The
boy
sipped
his
wine
gingerly
,
looked
up
with
a
pleased
expression
.
"
Good
,
it
's
sweet
.
"
He
made
himself
more
comfortable
.
"
I
wanted
to
see
Saint
Peter
's
because
the
Sisters
always
used
to
talk
about
it
and
show
us
pictures
.
So
when
they
posted
us
to
Rome
I
was
glad
.
We
got
here
this
morning
.
The
minute
I
could
,
I
came
.
"
He
frowned
.
"
But
it
was
n't
as
I
had
expected
.
I
thought
I
'd
feel
closer
to
Our
Lord
,
being
in
His
own
Church
.
Instead
it
was
only
enormous
and
cold
.
I
could
n't
feel
Him
.
"
Archbishop
Ralph
smiled
.
"
I
know
what
you
mean
.
But
Saint
Peter
's
is
n't
really
a
church
,
you
know
.
Not
in
the
sense
most
churches
are
.
Saint
Peter
's
is
the
Church
.
It
took
me
a
long
time
to
get
used
to
it
,
I
remember
.
"
"
I
wanted
to
pray
for
two
things
,
"
the
boy
said
,
nodding
his
head
to
indicate
he
had
heard
but
that
it
was
n't
what
he
wished
to
hear
.
"
For
the
things
which
frighten
you
?
"
"
Yes
.
I
thought
being
in
Saint
Peter
's
might
help
.
"
